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Greetings Trashelor Nation! Casey Bunker joins Sara Armour to talk through their big take aways from the season premiere of the Bachelorette, starring the radiant Michelle Young! They decode Michelle's astrology, trash talk the most idiotic hopefuls, and discuss how you know when to actually get married. 

Stay vulnerable, stay trashy! Enjoy! 

To join us for the Aries Full Moon Ritual: TheMoonual.com 
Follow Casey on IG: https://www.instagram.com/caseydilla1/
Follow Sara on IG: https://www.instagram.com/saraarmour/
Follow Molly on IG:  https://www.instagram.com/mollymulshine/

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and as always, subscribe & leave a review! It helps a ton!! 

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Greetings trashlings Sara Armour and Casey Bunker are back to bring you their most biting commentary and astrological analysis to recap  the three hour trashelor bachelor in paradise finale.

00:00 Sorry for being a day late, but Casey was seeing real housewife Sonja Morgan live at the helium comedy club in Philadelphia. Indeed, Sara is triggered by Sonja’s big weekend at a favorite club of hers (In fact the only club she’s performed at during the plague…) but based on the review from Casey, they realize Sonja is in fact Sara’s ideal client. A pitch is made. Does anyone know Sonia? Send her a link to the ep. Many thanks.

3:50 Becca and Thomas and Noah and Abagail. Break up to make up! 

10:00 Soeaking if Abagail … they try not to but cannot help but dive right into the deep waters of the Pisces soup -– or should we say tea — that is Claire-Dale-Abigate. We discussed Claire‘s devastating interview on red table talk before the big break up was revealed and give you all the dirt astrologically, psychically, and everything the Internet has drugged up. (NOTE: Immediately after recording breaking news came out with more details about the alleged affair — In May Dale and Abigail were spotted at a bar in Midtown which, and there are no coincidences, happens to be a bar where Sarah hosts/hosted a comedy show…What is synchronicity. Signs.) What’s funnier — tag-a-gail or abadail? Let us know in the comments or in a review!

35:00 a run down of the list of obvious engagements that happened on island, and the couples who broke-up in front of the cameras only to get back together after wrap. Noah and Abigail as predicted are post-show drunk and in love, Becca and Thomas are dating and have consummated their relationship (they speculate that Becca’s big break up moment was actually just avoiding the boom boom room …..). As for on camera fantasy suites / engagements : Mari eats a taco off of Kenny’s peen. Kendall intercepts right before Grocery Store Joe is about to get down on one knee, and fear that Riley and the producers hurt what should have been at least the romantic proposal of the bunch by making the same bad jokes three times leaving Maurissa excessively drenched in sweat on the altar. SMH.

Truly shocking how many couples came out of this season and hot take —  this could be the most efficient form of online dating in the end, begging the questions:
Should Sarah turn her lonely life in Florida into a singles retreat? Should we do Moonual matchmaking? Let us know.

43:43 The only couple that came as a surprise — bromance breakout couple of the show— Aaron and James! Friendship. It’s a beautiful thing. Love is love. Bros before Hoes.

50:00 Mulshine sisters in the spotlight and in review. High praise.

53:54 And finally In a satisfying conclusion Brendan and piper have broken the fuck up and Natasha one Instagram.

Karmas a bitch (beach?), looking forward to Michele’s season on the bachelorette starting October 19 and otherwise catch you tomorrow for a brand new episode of space trash podcast: lifestyles of the rich and Uranus.

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Greetings Trashlings! We're back with another bonus episode of Trashelor in Paradise!! Casey Bunker joins us on her lunch break (the devotion!) to discuss this weeks penultimate episode, but has to get back to work ASAP so we’re going to keep it short. It’s only right considering this was a 3-hour episode where really not that much happened. What can we say it’s libra season and we're here to balance the scales. 

0:00 While we thought last weeks storm came and went without a peep, off-island there was in fact a BIG peep and a devastating casualty. While on land, Ivan broke protocol for a booty-call, checked a producers phone for the room number of his crush Alexa, and crept over for an incognito in-hotel hang. He clearly did not "understand the gravity of this situation" … What in Ivan’s chart drove him to such madness? We investigate. 

16:50 Casey & Sara also are completely devastated by the audacity of our two wannabe-Casanova bitch-boys, Aaron & Ed, seen here playing-out two stunning, outstanding catches & deeply-lovable black women Chelsea & Natasha (who are irl ouuuuut of their leagues), to save crying white women. Smhhhhh know your role!! We’re not mathematicians but statistically, Natasha >  Ed and Chelsea > Aaron. Justice for Chelsea (selection of actually confident men with long legs please!) and especially Justice for Natasha —- can I get a #NatashaForBachelorette up in here!? Enough is enough! Madness! 

19:17 Noah and Abby miscommunicate and after winning prom king and queen Abby turns Carrie and there is proverbial ‘pigs blood’ dumped on her head when Noah poorly (and perhaps accidentally) breaks up with her post-Prom. Low-key, getting caught in the elevator at her first prom might’ve been more fun than this. What we have here is a masterclass in water signs with Taurus south nodes --  i.e when the going gets tough protect yourself above all is the strategy. They may work it out, but they’re better off dating off-camera. Everyone’s too defensive, no one’s being honest, and there is not nearly enough eye-contact. 

27:27 Small town villain Anna Redman joins the beach and winds up poaching James from Tia. Even though they look country-club perfect, her teeth come into questions as well as their astro-compatability. Will her Gemini Sun, Libra Moon breeziness will work for Aries Sun, Cancer moon James? Only finale will tell.... 

Tune in next week after the finale for our astro re-cap of Trashelor in Paradise, season 7. 

Follow Casey on IG: @caseydilla1
Follow Sara on IG: @saraarmour
Follow Molly on IG: @mollymulshine

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and most importantly, If you liked this episode, subscribe and LEAVE A REVIEW!!! Thank You & Goodday!

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