Speaking With Confidence

Have you ever walked away from a conversation replaying a moment you wish you could take back a snappy comment, a hasty email, or an awkward reply that just slipped out before you even had time to think? In today’s episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dig into exactly why our brains seem to react before we can respond, and more importantly, what you can do to put yourself back in the driver’s seat.

This episode tackles the “R” in WRONG React Instead of Respond. As a communication coach, I even find myself triggered into reaction sometimes, and it all comes down to a concept known as the “amygdala hijack,” a term popularized by Daniel Goleman. Our brains have a built-in alarm system designed for survival, but in the modern world, it fires off not just at real threats, but at social slights: a curt email, a friend showing up late, or a sarcastic comment from a coworker. The science, as explained by neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux, shows that our brains process threat signals along a fast, automatic pathway, leading us to act before we’ve had a conscious thought. But that initial surge passes quickly, and within that brief window, we have more control than we realize.

I break down the practical 3-second fix: one breath, one word, one question. This simple practice gives your reasoning brain time to catch up, turning a potential reaction into a thoughtful response. I share the research behind each step, from the cyclic sigh breath endorsed by Stanford researchers for mood regulation, to affect labeling studies at UCLA that show simply naming your feeling can calm your brain. Even asking yourself a real question, one you don’t yet know the answer to can reroute your automatic reaction into a mindful response.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:

If you’ve ever wanted to reclaim those crucial seconds between stimulus and response and show up with confidence instead of regret, this episode will show you exactly how. Remember, progress, not perfection, is what counts on this journey with each rep, you get a little closer to your best self.

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What makes a great leader? Is it getting the work done, meeting business goals, and keeping employees productive? Or is it also about genuinely caring for the people behind the work?

In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, Tim Newman sits down with Michelle Edwards, leadership strategist, human resources expert, and author of DEI Died and Leadership Lives, to talk about what it really takes to develop strong leaders and build a workplace where people can reach their full potential.

Michelle shares her personal experience of spending years in a corporate environment where she felt the need to hold parts of herself back. Everything began to change when a manager took the time to get to know her, build trust, and create a safe space where she could show up as her authentic self. That experience shaped her approach to leadership and inspired her belief that leaders have a responsibility to help people become everything they're capable of becoming.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

Great leadership starts with genuinely caring about people. When leaders take the time to understand their employees, recognize their potential, provide opportunities to grow, and hold themselves

accountable, everyone benefits. Stronger people create stronger teams, and stronger teams create better business results.

Connect with Michelle:

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You can win an argument and still lose the connection. It happens more often than we realize. A simple disagreement can quickly turn into a competition where the goal shifts from understanding each other to proving who's right.

In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, Tim Newman explores the hidden cost of always needing to win conversations and how this habit can damage relationships, weaken trust, and prevent meaningful communication.

Tim shares how the desire to be right can show up in everyday conversations, from correcting small details in meetings to needing the last word during disagreements with family and friends. Drawing from Charles Derber's research on conversational attention, Dr. John Gottman's work on relationships, and the concept of the writing reflex in motivational interviewing, he explains why constantly pushing your point can cause others to become defensive and less willing to share what they really think.

The good news is that you don't have to stay silent or give up your opinions to become a better communicator. The key is learning when to pause, listen, and focus on what you actually want from the conversation.

In this episode, you'll learn how to recognize when a conversation has become a competition, identify the habits and words that signal you're trying to win, and make small changes that help build stronger connections and more meaningful conversations.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

Three Ways to Practice Better Communication:

Choose one conversation where you feel the urge to correct someone, say "yes, but," or prove your point. Instead, ask one genuine question and let the other person have the last word. Pay attention to how the conversation changes when you stop trying to win.

Remember, better communication isn't about winning every argument. It's about building trust, understanding others, and creating connections that matter.

Visit https://speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com/ to get your free e-book, Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them, and learn more about developing your communication and public speaking skills.

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Why is it that even when we know all the “right” communication strategies, we still fall apart or overreact in the conversations that matter most? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dig beneath the surface of communication challenges and explore what’s really happening when we get triggered at work, at home, or in any relationship.

I’m Tim Newman, and today, I’m thrilled to bring Nima Rahmani to the show. Nima is an expert who works with high-performing individuals, couples, and families to heal relational wounds, regulate their nervous systems, and become trigger-proof in love, leadership, and all forms of connection. With a background blending neuroscience, polyvagal theory, attachment theory, and transformational coaching, Nima guides clients through deep internal shifts that create emotionally safe, co-regulated relationships.

The conversation focused on unraveling the myth that most communication problems can be solved simply by learning new skills or techniques. According to Nima, these so-called “communication issues” are usually just symptoms of deeper nervous system activation. When we experience conflict or pressure, our bodies often respond as if we’re under threat, shutting down, going on the attack, or defaulting to long-established coping mechanisms from childhood and family conditioning.

Together, we explored how real change begins by recognizing these automatic responses, getting honest with ourselves, and learning to parent our own inner child. One concept discussed was the idea of “relational rupture and repair”: it’s not enough to just avoid conflict or push through awkward moments, but instead we must learn to intentionally practice new behaviors and seek “corrective experiences” that show our nervous system it’s safe to show up authentically.

In this episode, we covered:

Join me for an episode that goes far beyond public speaking tips to address the root of what holds us back from showing up with confidence, clarity, and connection when it truly counts.

Connect with Nima:

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Have you ever walked into your first team meeting as a new manager, only to look up a few minutes later and realize you’ve lost the room? Phones come out, eyes wander, and polite nods take the place of real engagement. Why does this “Attention Cliff” happen, and what can new leaders do to prevent it?

In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive deep into the real reason so many new managers struggle to keep their teams engaged and most importantly, what you can do to become a leader people want to follow. Drawing both on research and my years teaching communication and leadership skills, I unpack the most common mistakes new managers make, and the simple, practical fixes that build lasting trust and genuine participation.

We’ll talk about why 60% of new managers fail within their first two years not for lack of effort, but because of three common missteps that feel normal in the moment but quietly erode your team’s trust and attention. I share stories from my own time as a college professor, including how a classroom experiment with student-created rules transformed engagement and accountability. You’ll learn why handing over just the task, instead of the task, outcome, and reason, sets your team up for confusion and flat results. Plus, I break down the cost of vague credit when projects go well, revealing why your best people check out silently if their unique contributions aren’t recognized publicly and specifically.

The conversation focused on the “Attention Cliff” , the sudden, often unnoticeable moment when engagement drops off in a meeting and how understanding human attention is crucial for any leader. One concept discussed was the importance of communicating outcomes and reasons, not just assignments, so team members understand the impact and stakes behind their work. A key theme that emerged was how ownership and specific recognition strengthen team culture and drive better results. The discussion explored practical techniques for structuring meetings that respect attention spans, such as starting with outcomes, sharing key points early, and frequently changing format to reset the room’s focus. Several points were raised, including the neuroscience behind attention, the financial cost of employee turnover triggered by lack of recognition, and actionable steps for rebuilding trust if you’ve already lost your team’s engagement.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:

Whether you’re leading your very first meeting or looking to sharpen your approach, this episode gives you the roadmap and confidence to earn real buy-in, boost performance, and build a team that’s as invested as you are. Your voice has the power to change the world let’s make sure your team is listening.

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Why is it so hard to change someone’s mind even when you think the facts are on your side? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we go far beneath the surface of disagreements to understand what’s really happening in our minds when we argue about politics, policies, or any hot-button issue.

I’m Tim Newman, former college professor turned communication coach, and I believe the conversations we avoid are often the ones with the most potential for growth. Today, I’m joined by JonRobert Tartaglione, a world-renowned psychologist, behavioral scientist, and founder of Influence 51. JonRobert has devoted his career to decoding what truly motivates people, specializing in the science of persuasion and strategic communication. He works with clients across the globe, teaching them how our beliefs are formed, why changing them can feel so threatening, and what it actually takes to create real dialogue.

Early in our conversation, JonRobert turned my understanding upside down by sharing twin studies that reveal political orientation isn’t just about the information we’re exposed to or the arguments we hear; it may be partially rooted in our biology. Whether or not you’re born to be a liberal or conservative isn’t set in stone, but our genetic predispositions can set our “default slider,” influencing which ideology will feel most intuitive or natural to us, even before life experience and social context do their work.

But if it’s not just about nature versus nurture, what lies beneath our deeply held convictions? JonRobert walked us through the three layers where real disagreement lives: first, how we define human nature (fixed or improvable?); second, how we see the world (a dangerous, competitive place or a cooperative, egalitarian one?); and third, what we believe about right and wrong (is morality about avoiding harm, or actively helping others?). These philosophical frameworks often go unspoken, yet they’re the hidden roots of our loudest debates.

You’ll also hear:

JonRobert also opens up about what in his field he’s least certain about, reminds us that humans aren’t as rational as we like to think, and gives examples from his own life about how changing your environment can fundamentally reshape your perspective.

If you want to move past surface-level debates and actually talk to (not just at) people who see the world differently, this episode is for you. Join us as we break down the science, the psychology, and the real-life practice of persuasive and receptive communication.

Connect with JonRobert:

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What if the feedback you’re most proud of giving is actually doing more harm than good? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive into why so much of the feedback we give ends up bouncing right off people or worse, making things even less effective and what to do instead.

As a recovering college professor turned communication coach, I’ve seen firsthand how even the most well-intentioned feedback can sometimes make no difference at all. You know that feeling you have a tough conversation that feels like it really landed. There’s eye contact, nodding, even a grateful “thank you.” But fast forward a few weeks and you’re back in the same conversation, just more frustrated. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

There’s no guest joining me for this solo episode. Instead, I’m sharing the research-backed reason why feedback often fails, plus a simple, actionable framework—the Game Film Method—that you can use immediately with your team, your peers, or even on yourself.

During the episode, I break down why feedback can actually make performance worse more than a third of the time, based on decades of research. I’ll walk you through the two main reasons it fails (vagueness and poor aim), explain why focusing too much on the past kills motivation, and show you how sports teams have perfected a better approach in the film room.

Here’s what I cover in this episode:

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a simple framework that transforms feedback from something people dread into a collaborative conversation that actually leads to change. Remember: It’s not about getting it perfect; it’s about aiming for progress with each conversation.

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What if what's holding you back from confident communication isn't a lack of skill, but an old story you've been telling yourself? On this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we dig deep into the real roots of communication anxiety and discover why confidence isn’t something you’re born with; it's something you build, one small step at a time.

As your host, Tim Newman, I’m excited to welcome executive communication coach, keynote speaker, bestselling author, and founder of Uplevel Communication, Mike Acker. Mike’s journey is both remarkable and relatable: he overcame a speech impediment as a child, had to learn to communicate in a new language when he moved to Mexico, and eventually reinvented himself as a professional speaker and coach. His story is living proof that anyone can become a confident communicator no matter where you begin.

In our conversation, Mike and I explored the mindset barriers that stop even talented speakers from reaching their goals. We discussed why being “good enough” in one context doesn’t always mean you’re ready for the next stage, and the difference between being a good speaker and being a good communicator. Mike shared powerful analogies, like how compliments about a homemade hamburger don’t mean it’s ready to be sold in a restaurant, reminding us that comfort in one arena doesn’t guarantee success in another.

Here’s a look at what we covered in this episode:

Whether you want to get better at conversations, ace your next big talk, or finally overcome the fear that’s holding you back, you’ll find both inspiration and action steps in this episode. I’m grateful to Mike Acker for sharing his story and wisdom, and I hope you’ll take one idea from this conversation and put it into practice today. Remember, your voice has the power to change the world one conversation at a time.

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Have you ever walked out of a one-on-one with your boss feeling like you just gave a verbal status report, but nothing really moved forward for you or your career? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, we’re tackling one of the most underused and most valuable meetings in your entire week: the one-on-one with your manager. I break down why these touchpoints often get wasted, and how you can turn them into your best shot at getting the recognition, resources, and growth you deserve.

I’ve seen it happen again and again with the people I coach: You work hard, you want more responsibility or a raise, but when you get 30 minutes of your boss’s time, you end up listing what’s on track and what’s been checked off and that’s it. I used to believe the work speaks for itself, but as I’ve learned (the hard way), it simply doesn’t. If you don’t use your one-on-one to tell your side of the story, something else will fill that space.

This episode is a solo one just me, sharing the hard-won strategies that help professionals go from being invisible to being seen and valued. We’ll walk through three actionable phases to make your one-on-one the most powerful meeting on your schedule, and I’ll give you the tools to prepare, build momentum, and make your big ask with confidence.

Here’s a quick overview of what we covered:

By the end of this episode, you’ll have a playbook for turning your one-on-ones from routine updates into compelling opportunities for growth. Start your brag file, send your three-line agenda, and remember: you’re not just working hard, you’re making sure your hard work gets seen. Let’s make your next meeting count!

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How can adults truly connect with and empower the younger generation in an age where it feels like the tools for genuine communication are slipping away?

In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I dive deep into the art of communication not just talking but really listening especially as it relates to bridging the generational gap. As someone who’s spent years on college campuses and in classrooms, I know firsthand how much adults can get caught up in teaching the “right” way to speak, lead, or motivate young people. But what if the real breakthrough comes from simply learning how to listen and making space for the voices of youth?

That’s why I’m thrilled to welcome James McLamb to the show. With over three decades of experience working with students and having interviewed more than 2,500 of them, James McLamb brings a unique perspective as a national youth empowerment strategist, author, speaker, and founder of Generation Youth. He’s dedicated his life to equipping both young people and the adults who serve them with the tools for resilience, confidence, and leadership.

Here’s what we covered in this episode:

Whether you’re a parent, teacher, coach, student, or simply someone navigating generational divides, this conversation with James McLamb gives you a toolkit for listening, questioning, and leading with empathy and confidence.

Connect with James:

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