Starve the Ego Feed the Soul

What happens when love is more about what we receive than what we give? In our latest episode, we dive into the complex and often misunderstood world of modern love and relationships. We start by dissecting a provocative post by mindfulness educator Case Kenny, challenging the notion of the "purest form of love" as one centered on receiving rather than giving. By examining how social media and technology influence our views, we highlight the importance of mutual love and the acceptance of imperfections, encouraging a shift in focus from external validation to internal growth.

Relationships require a delicate balance between supporting a partner and fostering self-reliance. This episode tackles the challenge head-on, advocating for mutual growth and self-healing. We critique the growing trend of victim mentality in relationship advice, stressing the importance of self-responsibility and managing one's own burdens. By seeing relationships as a collaborative dance, where both partners contribute equally to mutual growth, we foster healthier, more balanced connections.

Building and sustaining love takes continuous effort and commitment. We emphasize that love is not an instantaneous event but a process requiring self-awareness, accountability, and mutual support. Addressing modern misconceptions about love, we highlight the dangers of relying on quick fixes or external validation. As we wrap up, we express our gratitude for our listeners, inviting them to reflect on what truly lasts in life and to focus on building meaningful, lasting connections. Join us for a heartfelt discussion on nurturing love that stands the test of time.

Support the show

Warmly,
Nico Barraza
@FeedTheSoulNB
www.nicobarraza.com

Get yourself a Paddletek Pickleball paddle for 10% off using the code NICO10 at checkout here https://www.paddletek.com/?srsltid=AfmBOooLOkNTMpOuII8wvhVoIH5VZyG8xITOlxuSxoclWRYeqd7seKYG

Highly recommend buying a Slyce end cap for your pickleball paddle too using the code Feedthesoul10 here https://slycesport.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorL_tyC5b7RrsrbwISHzyanHclkMNK8FNFXqD8_0Bozc8K0el8e

What if you could find serenity and strength in the chaos of modern life through a simple game? Meet DJ Young, a 24 year old professional pickleball player who moved from Spain to the United States, overcoming cultural and language barriers to find success and community in this rapidly growing sport. Discover how pickleball has not only transformed DJ's life but also how it offers a powerful antidote to isolation, anxiety, and the challenges of today's fast-paced world.

We share DJ's compelling journey from his early days in Spain to his struggles as a teenager in Oceanside, California. Hear about the anger and isolation he faced and how finding pickleball at 18 became a turning point, channeling his energy into something positive. Through DJ’s story and personal reflections, we highlight the transformative potential of sports for personal development. You'll hear how pickleball brings people together across generations, offering structure, competition, and joy, even during times of adversity and recovery.

Balancing professional pursuits with personal growth, we explore DJ's experience of becoming a father and how it reshaped his outlook on life. We delve into the unique challenges of maintaining top athletic performance while navigating the responsibilities of parenthood and building a supportive community. From starting a pickleball podcast to sharing genuine conversations with notable figures in the sport, this episode is a heartfelt recommendation to pick up a paddle and experience the incredible benefits of pickleball firsthand. Tune in to understand how this sport can enrich your life and help you build meaningful connections.

Support the show

Warmly,
Nico Barraza
@FeedTheSoulNB
www.nicobarraza.com

What does it take to balance the life of a professional athlete with personal relationships and long-term happiness? Join us as we sit down with Olympian Annie Kunz, who shares her incredible journey in track and field, representing the US in the Tokyo Olympics, and the other international competitions. Listen to Annie's firsthand account of the emotional rollercoaster she faced when a season-ending injury threatened her Olympic dreams and how she found the strength to adjust her plans after years of relentless dedication. This episode promises to offer deep insights into self-accountability, personal growth, and the sacrifices required to be the best while maintaining healthy relationships.

Ever wondered about the price of athletic excellence? We explore the complexities of balancing professional aspirations with personal joy and identity. Annie sheds light on the often-overlooked selfishness that comes with prioritizing sport over social life and personal connections. Reflecting on her career and shifting priorities in her 30s, Annie speaks candidly about the challenges of transitioning out of professional athletics and the importance of preparing for life beyond sports. We also discuss guiding the next generation—including our own children—to find a healthy balance between athletic ambition and personal well-being.

From the pressures of youth sports to the unique relationship dynamics faced by elite athletes, this episode covers it all. Annie opens up about how social media has intensified pressures on young athletes and the evolving landscape of college sports. She also delves into the often unseen sacrifices in personal relationships, especially when dating non-athletes or dealing with recurring injuries. Through personal anecdotes, Annie illustrates the mental resilience required to overcome setbacks, emphasizing faith and gratitude as cornerstones of her strength. Whether you’re an athlete or simply navigating life's challenges, this episode offers valuable lessons on perseverance, balance, and finding joy amidst adversity.

Support the show

Warmly,
Nico Barraza
@FeedTheSoulNB
www.nicobarraza.com

The conversation explores the topic of narcissism and its impact on individuals and relationships. Dr. Karyl McBride, a therapist and author, shares her expertise on narcissistic parents, the traits of narcissism, and the effects on children. She discusses the different types of narcissistic mothers and the role of the father in enabling the narcissistic dynamic. The conversation also delves into how growing up with a narcissistic parent can affect adult relationships, leading to codependency and impaired trust. Dr. McBride emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and doing the work of recovery to break the cycle of narcissism. In this conversation, Dr. Karyl McBride discusses the dynamics of narcissistic families and offers insights on how to navigate relationships with narcissistic parents. She emphasizes the importance of dropping expectations and accepting that these relationships may not be deep or emotionally intimate. Dr. McBride also explores the different roles that siblings may take on in narcissistic families and the effects on each child. She provides advice on empathic parenting and creating a safe and consistent environment for children. Additionally, she discusses the possibility of having a healthy relationship with a narcissistic partner and offers tips for setting up successful relationships.


Karyl McBride, Ph.D., LMFT, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Denver,
Colorado with thirty-nine plus years of public and private practice. She specializes intreating clients with dysfunctional family issues. For the past many years, Dr.McBride has been involved in private research regarding parental narcissism and the debilitating effects of narcissism in relationships. She has treated many adult children of narcissistic parents as well as many others involved in relationships with narcissists in her private practice. Dr. McBride is considered a pioneering and leading expert in her field. Dr.
McBride also has extensive clinical experience in the fields of trauma, sexual abuse,
domestic violence, divorce, and stepfamily therapy, marital and family therapy,
specialized trauma treatment in Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR),
and individual adjustment issues related to anxiety, depression, and life transitions. In her
career, Dr. McBride has done forensic consulting and has served as an expert witness in
numerous civil and criminal cases involving children and sexual abuse. She has nine
years’ experience conducting sexual abuse investigations with law enforcement and
has conducted training for law enforcement in the area of sexual abuse investigations.
In 1996, she was invited to present her doctoral research at the International Police
Research Conference in Ljubljana, Slovenia.
Unlock the keys to healing from the deep wounds inflicted by narcissistic parents with insights from Dr. Carol McBride, renowned expert in narcissistic family dynamics. We promise you'll gain a deeper understanding of how narcissism manifests within family structures and the profound effects it has on children into adulthood. Through Dr. McBride's experience and groundbreaking work, including her celebrated books "Will I Ever Be Good Enough?" and "Will the Drama Ever End?", we dissect the journey from childhood trauma to finding resilience and empowerment.

Connect with Dr. McBride here https://linktr.ee/drkarylmcbride

Support the show

Warmly,
Nico Barraza
@FeedTheSoulNB
www.nicobarraza.com

Interested in working with me one on one? Head over to www.nicobarraza.com

This week's conversation is with Ray McKimm, a Psychotherapist based out of Ireland who I encountered via this incredible spur of the moment interview he gave to a content creator that amassed millions of views. 

Ray's Bio: "Ray has trained in a range of therapeutic interventions and worked in the N.H.S., the voluntary sector, and with International N.G.O’S (Non-Government Organisations)he has worked therapeutically with individuals, families, and groups.

He has trained in Jungian Analysis, CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy) SFBT(Solution Focused Brief Therapy) Trauma Focused CBT and many others which he will apply to your conversation when it could be helpful to you.

He developed a model of therapy called Colour Analytical Psychology as a direct result of the influence of the psychology of Carl Jung and the work of Melisse Jolly at Colour Mirrors, he has published this theory in various forms.

He established Green Therapy and Training as a center of excellence in enabling others to manage the challenges that life brings, and helping them through many of these transitions in his work as a Humanist Celebrant."

We then shift gears to tackle the larger issues within the healthcare system. The importance of transparency and advocacy in medical care cannot be overstated. Through my personal experiences, including treatment in Puerto Vallarta, I underline the necessity of having open, honest conversations with healthcare professionals and the critical nature of self-advocacy. From discussing the fallibility of the medical system to the significance of seeking multiple opinions, this segment is a must-listen for anyone navigating their own healthcare journey.

Finally, we explore the profound impacts of living with chronic pain and disability. From the strain on personal relationships to the power of emotional expression and asking for help, this episode offers heartfelt advice for individuals and their families. Joined by Irish counselor Ray McKimm, we delve into the transformative journey of therapy, the art of compassionate listening, and the healing power of empathy. Ray's unique insights and personal story add a valuable perspective on acceptance and resilience. Tune in for a deeply moving and inspiring conversation that underscores the art of living authentically and the importance of gratitude in the face of life's challenges.

Support the show

Warmly,
Nico Barraza
@FeedTheSoulNB
www.nicobarraza.com

In this episode, I sit down with Leah Elson, a brilliant scientist and author, whose passion for science communication and advocacy for women in STEM resonates deeply. Leah discusses her unique path balancing athletics with scientific pursuits, and the critical role of effective communication in bridging the gap between the scientific community and the public. Together, we explore how early exposure to science and public speaking can empower individuals, and reflect on the personal and societal impact of fostering curiosity and critical thinking in young minds.

We also address the pressing need to rebuild trust in science and promote diversity within scientific communities. Leah and I share insights on how to make science more accessible and engaging, especially for marginalized groups, and discuss the broader implications of inclusivity on scientific progress. This episode is a poignant reminder that true fulfillment lies beyond wealth and fame, in the essence of our inner values and the legacy of our contributions to society. 

Support the show

Warmly,
Nico Barraza
@FeedTheSoulNB
www.nicobarraza.com

Can creating a more disciplined and appreciative environment truly shape the next generation into responsible adults? In this episode, we unpack the often-overlooked nuances of modern parenting. Reflecting on my own childhood, I draw contrasts between the sometimes overly-protective approaches of today and the more disciplined methods of the past. We critically explore the balance between positive reinforcement and allowing children to encounter and learn from their struggles.

We delve into the importance of teaching appreciation and responsibility, not just through words but through actions and consequences. Personal stories illustrate how children can develop a sense of accountability and empathy by being exposed to diverse cultures and socioeconomic backgrounds. We also explore how significant consequences for actions can curb undesirable behaviors and foster discipline, even in affluent settings where privilege may otherwise lead to a sense of entitlement.

Our discussion extends to the fundamental principles of effective parenting, focusing on consistency, discipline, and the value of hard work. Addressing the delicate balance between discipline and abuse, we advocate for appropriate, measured responses to misconduct while underscoring the importance of clear boundaries and early education on respect and consent. This episode aims to equip parents with insights and strategies to raise well-rounded, emotionally intelligent children who contribute positively to society. Join us as we navigate the complexities of parenting with strength, serenity, and sanity.

Support the show

Warmly,
Nico Barraza
@FeedTheSoulNB
www.nicobarraza.com

Support the show

Warmly,
Nico Barraza
@FeedTheSoulNB
www.nicobarraza.com

I share my personal experience with multiple shoulder surgeries and the complications I have faced. I highlight the lack of accountability in the medical industry and the challenges faced in finding a surgeon who could help me and actually cares about my ability to live a thriving life. I touch on the emotional and physical toll these surgeries have take on a person. I also discuss the impact of chronic pain on daily life and the toll it has taken on my physical and mental well-being. I emphasize the need for accountability in the medical profession and urge others to be cautious when choosing surgeons. Despite my struggles, I remain determined to find a solution and continue serving others through this podcast.

I you would like to support the show head over to https://www.buzzsprout.com/1700476/support

If you would like to work with me one on one head over to www.nicobarraza.com

How does one keep pushing forward after a life-altering accident? Discover the raw and unfiltered journey of perseverance and resilience in this emotionally charged episode. I recount my 2019 cycling accident that shattered not just my clavicle but also my career as a professional athlete. Listen as I share the immediate, shocking aftermath of a high-speed crash, the rushed decision for surgery, and the painful process that defined my path to recovery. This episode is a testament to the human spirit’s unyielding strength in the face of severe physical and mental challenges.

Ever wondered what it feels like to navigate a healthcare system that sometimes falls short? Join me as I unravel the complexities of dealing with unsuccessful surgeries, from a botched clavicle surgery to the relentless pursuit of proper medical care. I expose the systemic issues that plague our healthcare system and share my personal battles for accountability and effective treatment. From the chronic pain of a mishandled AC joint surgery to the emotional toll of persistent pain and impaired functionality, this episode sheds light on the importance of self-advocacy and the frustrations of navigating a broken system.

This isn't just a story about physical recovery—it's a deep dive into the emotional and mental toll of sustained adversity. Reflect with me on the broader implications of these struggles, including impacts on mental health, professional life, and overall quality of life. Despite the immense pain and frustration, I emphasize the importance of authenticity, inner fulfillment, and the power of resilience. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that encourages you to find strength and purpose in your own life, no matter the obstacles you face.

Support the show

Warmly,
Nico Barraza
@FeedTheSoulNB
www.nicobarraza.com

To become a monthly supporter of Starve the Ego Feed the Soul click here https://www.buzzsprout.com/1700476/support

Any monthly donation you make helps me do what I and continue to produce episodes just like this one. Your support is appreciated.

The conversation covers a wide range of topics, including therapy, trauma, embodiment, and the impact of social media. It delves into the experiences of Ailey Jolie and her journey from the entertainment industry to becoming a therapist. The discussion also explores the challenges of hyper-independence and the differences in how men and women process emotions and trauma.

What happens when a seasoned entertainment professional decides to pivot towards a career in therapy? Join us on "Starve the Ego Feed the Soul" as we sit down with Ailey Jolie, who shares her transformative journey from the spotlight to the therapist’s chair. Ailey opens up about her personal battles with trauma and how these experiences have fueled her passion for helping others heal. Her unique perspective illuminates the therapeutic process, the embodiment of emotional experiences, and the challenging, yet rewarding, path of assisting clients through their own trauma.

Ever wondered how social media shapes our mental health, or how dropping out of multiple grad programs can lead to profound self-discovery? This episode with Ailey tackles these topics head-on. We dissect the impact of living under public scrutiny, struggling with eating disorders, and the vital importance of transitioning from public personas to authentic selves. Ailey and I get real about how disconnecting from social platforms can lead to both isolation and growth, especially in the context of modern dating and relationships.

Get ready for an enriching exploration of the profound differences between online self-help content and the individualized nature of therapy. Ailey introduces us to the Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy model, highlighting its significance in integrating our internal parts. We also critically examine the cultural nuances in how men and women process emotions, the pitfalls of hyper-independence, and the importance of community and self-awareness in today's world. Don't miss this compelling conversation that promises to leave you with fresh insights and a deeper understanding of mental health and personal growth.

Support the show

Warmly,
Nico Barraza
@FeedTheSoulNB
www.nicobarraza.com