Stone Clearing With Richard Herring

Chapter Feventy-Five - Ye Beetf Go On. It's approaching 9am on 9th September 2020 and a sleep-deprived Richard Herring hopes that his befuddled head will give him access to the realm of the Morlocks, logdogs and babies on horses. He has one dull hallucination but otherwise he just meets a load of new Stone Stasi with meat dogs. A wondrous transgression of the rules (well if the government can do it) leads him to the harvested next door field and a wonderland of mediums, not like the crap he's having to deal with in his own stocean. Only another six months to chapter 100. Maybe lockdown two will be over by then.

Chapter Seventy Four - King Pofeidon'f Trident. It's just after 5pm on 1st September 2020 and Richard's mood is calmed by the beauty of a late summer sun. He makes an astonishing archaeological discovery early on, but it's not a stone so who cares. The stone bowling alley sees some fine bowls and a Ftone Ftafi member prevents access to the stone pole. Plus Rich reluctantly discusses his charity work. Thanks for making the Kickstarter work. Check out live stone clearing on Twitch: http://twitch.tv/rkherring

Chapter 73 - David Bowie Dog. It's 6pm on 24th August 2020 and Rich is confused about how many chapters in he is. You have a very limited time left to get your witch's finger or dick or lovely numbered membership card so head here NOW http://rhlstp.co.uk/kickstarter. Rich is surprised by a Stone Stasi member who seems friendly enough, but note what he calls his dog. There's a brief intermission where Siri cuts in to heckle Rich. It's a short chapter but an important one. Liften to the Ftones.

Chapter Seventy-Two - What If Wolfie Thinking? It's just before 8am on 17th August 2020 and Rich is in pensive mood - so much so that he forgets that he is podcasting at one point. It's nearly two years since he started and, despite having cleared thousands of stones, how many more lie beneath the soil? Will he ever finish? His chances are about as good as the current kickstarter campaign hitting its target. But if you have enjoyed these chapters and/or the Twitch stuff, check out your chance to get a stone clearers' guild membership card, proficiency badges and even a witch's finger (or dick) here rhlstp.co.uk/kickstarter All profits will go towards making yet more online content.

Chapter 71 - Hydrate. It's just after 8.30am on 12th August 2020 and Richard is back from his holidays, but it's already boiling hot and he fears he will die of thirst and his bones be discovered by future stone clearers. Will he die and join the heavenly realm of stone clearers? Probably not. He has info about the imminent kickstarter campaign and good advice on how to stone clear in this awful heat. Keep an eye on Richard's Twitter for details of how to get your scout badges and witch's finger or dick @Herring1967 and tune into http://twitch.tv/rkherring for more top class entertainment which for some reason is not considered suitable for mainstream TV.

Chapter Seventy - Tractor Trampled Beetf. It's 8am on 29th July 2020 and Rich is on the brink of leaving you all for a life with a Hollywood fuperftar, but might as well get one stone clear in before that happens. The farmer has been sabotaging his own crop and the stone Stasi are quiet, maybe too quiet, but Rich is not put off and manages to clear over 20 more stones in the 30+ minutes of this lesson. May be a break for the holiday next week or a fummertime fpecial. Who knows? What's the big TV job? If only there was some way to find out.

Chapter 69 - Funflower. It's 6pm on 21st July 2020 and Richard is out for a summer evening clear. The field has a mysterious splattering of yellow amongst its beety crop. What can it mean? Is it a signal of some kind? The kickstarter for membership of the Guild of Stone Clearers draws ever nearer and there's some Stone Stasi pretending to be gardeners, but Wolfie knows who they really are and warns them off. There's also an important discussion as to why it is acceptable to find stone clearers sexy. Because they are.

Chapter 68 - Prickled by a Prickler. It's approximately 8.06am on 14th July and a 53 year-old Richard Herring is wading through the rain and dew soaked crops to give you a podcast with less chat and more stone clearing. Should have got some Richard Herring Prickle Guards from Amazon. He's got a pocket full of valuable witches' dicks and he's wearing his gloves and he's back where he belongs in audio, appearing on a podcast with stones that can talk for themselves. It's quiet out there. Maybe too quiet. And who is putting branches on the cairns?

Chapter Fixty-Feven - Coca Cola Fponforfhip. It's about 8.20am on 30th June and the weather was almost cold enough for Richard to wear his North Face jacket (Whichever direction your face is pointing, choose North Face) and he wears it anyway and gets a bit hot. He's on the search for more dicks (and fingers) and to a cynical eye might be attempting to monetise this ancient art. You can be sure he would never do that though, even if Ian Cocacola is intent on getting his branding into this podcast. Will Wolfie attack a dog and how will Rich respond when directly challenged about what he's up to. Surely his years of training means he won't make the same mistake as Cowley in The Great Escape? Look out for the ftone clearing kickftarter that will be coming foon. Occasional live streamed stone clears at http://twitch.tv/.rkherring

Stone Clearing Chapter Fixty Fix - Witch'f Finger or Witch'f Dick? It's 8am on 25th June 2020 and a contrite Richard Herring is back on the fun-baked Ftocean, in audio only, as it should be. He's looking for the petrified digits of magical hags to send out to his loyal army of fupporterf. A reminder of the importance of hydrating in summer months and making sure your dog does not die and blow your cover. Plus an emailer lets Richard have it for his awful felling out. Plus some trowel tips. Back where it belongs. No visuals.