Be sure to follow us on Twitter @sfh_podcast and listen in to hear the "rules" of our first twitter contest. Today, the lads come out firing immediately, starting with Pat being dissatisfied with his treatment on the show. Pat decries the preponderance of meme culture and meme plagiarism. Chris thinks comedy is knock-knock jocks and anti-jokes. Tempers flare and insults are cast. Chris is angry that The Intellectual has the humility to sit in a beach chair, thus revealing Chris' deep-"seated" insecurity. The lads determine that Psych is the most underrated comedy of all time. Chris officially starts the show 19 minutes in. "Breaking News from Florida" involves a man, his meth lab, his butt, and a perilous explosion. "Cage Match" returns with a study in laziness: couches vs comfy chairs. Pat interrupts the "Lord of the Rings Impersonation Contest" with the code phrase for the Twitter contest. The wizards cast The Intellectual into the abyss.

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Follow us on Twitter. We want to include everyone in our absurd but enlightening conversations! Remember, don't be an Old Man Willow, be a Tom Bombadillo!

Today, the lads ride down the Withywindle and explore whether they are thinkers-then-speakers or speak-to-think-thinkers. Those phrases are canon now. Pat eats chips to keep an ideal glycemic rate. Johnny goes to not one, not two, but three different corners, bouncing from fired actors to the original Grammar Nazi to performing 25% of the macarena. Apparently, it's weird to check the weather. Johnny keeps his wallet in his back pocket. Imagine If presents a vicious moral quandary that needs your input. Pat finds hidden gold in the Amazon product questions--hint: don't use a fan to blend pancake batter. The lads close out the show with their Tolkien Item: Which orc is best?

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Chris is reading (or listening, to be exact) to the LOTR books for the FIRST time! We challenge you guys to read them again and give Chris the moral support he so desperately needs. With our combined literary and cinematic knowledge, we shall be unstoppable. Today, a French linguistic influence simmers beneath the surface. Chris recounts the tale of meeting Andrew Rea, the creator of Binging with Babish, when suddenly an intruder appears and challenges Chris for podcast dominance. The intruder, undeterred, remains. Pat wonders about the struggles of short people and laments his failing body. The lads question what would occur if Johnny and Pat switched bodies. "Breaking News from Florida" sets the show ablaze, or at least attempts to. In "Around the Table," the lads discuss airplane armrest etiquette--Chris is selfish. The lads debut a new segment, "Johnny's Corner" or "Johnny's Thought of the Day," whichever you prefer. It involves blind people and museums, so it naturally goes off the rails. Guess the Quote concludes with a stunning comeback.

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What's your favorite 'nini? How about 'lini? Does Obi-Wan "download" himself into the force? Can you guess what movie Pat is referring to at 48:44? Let us know at https://www.instagram.com/sfh_podcast/ or at [email protected]. The lads discuss the origins of the "Stupid Fat Hobbits" name. Pat uses the word "impedes" wrong. The boys spend way too much time talking about shoes and libraries. Johnny exposes the hidden black market of stolen library books. In a stroke of genius, the lads determine that the USA is literally #1. Johnny gives a remarkably accurate definition of third-world countries. 'Review the Review' returns with a splendid piece of prose from the wonderful Cara Grandstaff. Johnny tries to take credit for her hard work. In an unofficial Would You Rather segment, the lads debate whether they would want to be a reverse mermaid or a reverse centaur...and who would win in a fight. The show closes out with a unique 'LOTR Impersonation Contest' involving a guest appearance from Mickey Mouse.

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An avid listener joins today's show. His name? Michael "Doctor" Temple. His background? Craft beer. Check out his (and Chris') craft brew podcast, "Don't Stop Beerlieving."  In Breaking News From Florida," the lads cover birth privacy, parental confusion, pizza slaps, and many similar issues that we navigate in our daily lives. Michael realizes he still has a father and then goes on a long, fruitless tangent about Oedipus. Michael also asks whether plate-licking is permissible in public - seeing a trend here?  "Imagine If" returns with much aplomb - Imagine if your parents aged backward so you had to take care of them as children -  and down the rabbit hole they go...  In "Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Intellectual?" the lads test their guest on his knowledge of Virginia in possibly the worst ever performance on the show. The Intellectual loses his composure. The show concludes with a guest segment where Michael turns to the past to find happiness. 

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Chris returns from The Matterhorn with a broken neck and a broken ego. Johnny is deeply resentful because Chris and Pat recorded The Christmas Special without him. Pat becomes the victim that all fat people fear. Chris regales the audience with his Swiss exploits. Pat and Johnny don't care. The lads broach the challenging topic of New Years' resolutions. Ultracrepidarians are discussed. Johnny returns with a genuine "Breaking News From Florida." The lads dig deep to discover what their memoirs would sound like. Out of utter laziness, the lads resort to a LOTR "Guess the Quote Contest" with a SHOCKING result (clickbait). The show closes out with a few shoutouts to our rabidly loyal listeners and a re-evaluation of the purpose of this podcast. Let us know if you've caught onto the golden nuggets following the outro...you shall be rewarded ten-fold.

Merry Christmas ya filthy animals! Boy oh boy, this is a big one. In the spirit of Christmas, and also because Chris is leaving us to go galavant in the Swiss Alps next week, we have provided a longer show today. Sadly, Johnny could not make it home for Christmas, but we were privileged to have an honorable guest stand in for him. His name? Michael Buono. His background? Songs. The lads officially launch 'Review the Review' and read an illuminating review, or shall I say, novella, from one Cormac Goodwin. Johnny, ahem, Michael introduces a very confusing 'Breaking News From Florida' that has Chris and Pat grasping at straws.  For the first time, the lads answer listener questions from Instagram. Josh, Robert, and Theresa - you three have the honor of being the first listeners to have your questions answered in the greatest podcast since sliced podcasts. Edelweiss and the WW1 Christmas Truce are contemplated. Pat says "like" a lot. The lads discuss their favorite Christmas movies/family traditions and whether stockings should contain real gifts. They bring The Christmas Special to a close with the LOTR Impersonation Contest (Chris' Gollum impression is particularly good) and a Christmas-themed Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Intellectual?

Welcome one, welcome all! This week the lads are joined by another special guest. His name? Ryan Bartels. His background? Deep sea fishing... maybe. Coming off a full day of physical activity, the lads boast of their field goal kicking prowess. Despite all odds, the withering Pat drills a 50 yarder. Be sure to visit https://scrubhits50yarder.wixsite.com/video for the video to prove it. Chris and Ryan hit from 40. Johnny hit form 27, drank white claws, and was not a winner. The lads then premier the "Around the Table" segment jingle, then proceed to avoid the segment. Johnny decides he likes rap. Pat compares Post Malone to Narnia. The discussion then takes a turn and the lads inconclusively determine American Football is better than Soccer. The seltzer debate then breaks out and Pat forgets how to pronounce it. Our guest then makes an attempt to become an intellectual on "Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Intellectual?" Chris roasts him and he fails. The lads then wrap up this week's episode letting Ryan talk about his life.

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Arise, Peasant Kingdom, and join us for the show! This is the one where Chris introduces the episode multiple times. The lads define a real baker's dozen, spend way too much time on sock talk, and wonder how weird it is to dine alone at a nice restaurant. Johnny and Pat share an intellectual Where's Waldo moment. Chris and Pat get two steps closer to discovering why Johnny is the way that he is. The Intellectual introduces a new segment, "Do You Have What It Takes to Be an Intellectual?" and tests the common man and the peasant on their knowledge of history. Oh and Johnny likes cocaine; Pat does also, but for a price; Chris sticks to his principles.

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The lads start off with a bit of cantering baby banter and introduce a new segment called "Breaking News From Florida." This week's news involves a mother, her son, his mannequin, and some dumplings. The mannequin talk gives rise to a pseudo cage match of genies vs robots vs mannequins vs house-elves. After explaining (somewhat correctly but very poorly) how soap works, the boys discuss homeless percussionists and flute-playing. Pat tries his best at an Australian accent and fails; Chris does quite well in this regard. These fearless media tycoons introduce another segment, "Review the Review" and then dive into a cage match of cursive vs print. The Lord of the Rings Impersonation Contest returns with much gravitas. Listen to the end of the show to hear your name in the shoutouts. If you're egotistical enough to want a shoutout on the podcast, feel free to leave a written review on apple podcasts or email us at the address below.

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