Listener question: why does criticism feel so bad and how do I stop the belief that people are doing it to be nasty?

Listener question: there have been reports of people driven to terrible actions, apparently because they believed there was no other choice. How does that work in a conversation about reality? 

Listener question: is there any truth in our thoughts? Or are they always just a collection of random stuff picked up along the way?

Listener question: I am making delicious treats for my very picky dog (more cat than dog), I finally found some that she likes. And I very much love doing all that and there is so little of quality ones at the market and I am thinking of selling it.

BUT – I would be in business where animals would be slaughtered because of me!

So I think that in the end, I probably won't go with it... (I still am not really sure.) 

But I think this is really an interesting topic and you might have some interesting thoughts in exploring it! If it's interesting for you maybe you can talk about it in the podcast or just say here to me a few thoughts, if you have it.

Listener question: 

At work my line manager has very limiting beliefs and uses me to vent to about anyone and anything which annoys her. 

I find this increasingly difficult to deal with.......  Most of the time I don’t agree and recently rather than going with it I have found myself trying to reason with her and convert her to my beliefs! Why? I know I can’t change her......... 

Every time this happens though I just find myself annoyed, upset, stressed out and exhausted by it. It’s almost daily and just gets me down. 

Now I know it’s all not real. It’s all her story that I’m being dragged into. My self is then making its own drama of it - like a blooming soap opera on TV that I would just turn off because it’s boring!

So is the answer to recognise it’s just all just an illusion and try to not let myself get annoyed, dragged into the drama. 

Surely that’s just denial? 

Any insights would be really helpful please.

Listener question:  

Do you have any comments that I could consider in terms of taking blame or feeling guilt for something, please? 

The position of self (which feels like me, inseparable, not something I am observing) is that I made choices to set boundaries in relationships, which in these instances meant prioritising a professional coaching relationship rather than a friendship. The result in the others is that they feel rejected and hurt. I feel responsible for their pain and I hate that I have hurt them or made them feel unworthy of friendship, to have made them feel not good enough. If I had continued in the (blurry) arena of being friends and coach, they would not be feeling that way. Therefore, their pain is my fault and I feel so guilty and horrible. Urgh......

Listener question: I am wondering how you see boundaries in the context of non-duality.  I would say that I have very weak boundaries whilst being deeply suspicious that we need them!  If we are in touch with our true self does that not take care of the need for them?

Listener question: what do you mean with human self, the self? The terms ego, self, soul, inner self are confusing.

hi Clare - I wonder if you could sum up the simple essential truths about this understanding. I love how you explain everything in different ways to make it more understandable. It shows how this works in our daily life. But sometimes it feels good for me to see the big and simple picture, to get back to simplicity. It gives an overview or a frame for it all. 

Exploring how this phrase fits with what we know about behaviour, choice and reality