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Dr. Galena Rhoades, coauthor of Fighting For Your Marriage, returns to From the Green Notebook to talk with Joe about the strain that deployments, training, and time apart place on military marriages—and how couples can stay connected through it.

Drawing on years of research and her work helping couples strengthen relationships, Galena explains why separation creates unique challenges, how communication often falls into “just logistics,” and what it takes to keep connection alive across distance. Together, she and Joe unpack lessons that every military family can use—lessons Joe wishes he had known during the nearly five years he spent away from home over his career.

In this episode, Joe and Galena explore:

• How to keep communication from becoming only about schedules and logistics
• Why friendship talk, support talk, and even conflict talk are essential during separation
• The “alternate universe” of deployment, and how to bridge that gap with your partner at home
• The emotional boundaries that can erode if couples aren’t intentional about protecting them
• Why reintegration isn’t about picking up where you left off, but about building a new relationship on the same foundation

Whether you’re facing your first deployment or your fifth, these insights will help you and your partner navigate the hard parts of separation and come back together with greater strength and understanding.

Galena K. Rhoades, Ph.D., is a research professor and the director of the Institute for Relationship Science in the Department of Psychology at the University of Denver. Her research focuses on romantic relationship formation processes, such as dating and living together, and predictors of relationship success. She also conducts studies on the effectiveness of relationship interventions offered by community organizations across the United States. She has more than 140 publications in these areas. 

Dr. Rhoades founded a nonprofit in Denver called Thriving Families. This organization offers MotherWise, a relationship education program for women during pregnancy and postpartum, as well as mental health services for families. Dr. Rhoades is also a practicing clinical psychologist. In her private practice, she primarily sees couples and families.

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