Authenticity is overrated. I’m coming in with a hot take today, but hey, sometimes a hot take in needed. “Just be authentic!” is one of the most popular pieces of advice in the self-help world, but I think it’s a horrible goal to have. Sure, it seems so freeing to not care what other people think about you, but we’re human beings who need relationships and connection, and not caring about others’ opinions is a self-centered, awful way to create a meaningful life. Today, I’m sharing why I think “authenticity” is overrated and how to navigate being yourself.

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The 2024 World Happiness Report was recently released, and for the first time in the report’s history, the United States dropped out of the top 20 happiest countries, largely due to a drastic decline in the happiness of the younger generations. So, how do we get our happiness back? I’ve always loved talking about and studying what creates happiness, and though traditional psychology focuses on what can go “wrong” with the brain, there is a ton of new research and evidence on things we can do “right” to increase that happiness quotient. Today I’m sharing 3 things to focus on that if we begin to do now, they’ll create an immeasurable difference in our lives even just 6 months from now.

Check out the World Happiness Report here.

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A core tenet of my work and a huge piece of what we do as coaches, managers, and leaders is effective communication. Y’all know I love talking about how to talk to people. Y’all also know that I love even more is studies, and there are countless studies that show just how impactful great communicators are on the people we are trying to influence. Great communication helps us become synchronized, which in turn makes us better motivators and increases trust, which is one of the most important factors of efficiency that we have. It’s no surprise that communication is a powerful tool for us as coaches and managers, and luckily for us, there are 8 skills + behaviors I’ve found that super-communicators embody in their interactions.

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Think about how hard it is to change yourself—if change was easy, we’d all be perfect, right? But we all know changing takes time and we often fail, so why do we think we could change others? Whether as coaches, leaders, parents, friends, or parters, the idea of helping someone to change sounds amazing, but the truth remains, you just can’t change someone who doesn’t want it. What we can do, however, is cultivate an environment that makes it easier for someone to change. If someone feels safe, connected, and they have someone leading the way, they’re far more likely to change alongside you.

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I’ve been busy lately, and while it’s been rewarding and fulfilling to do so many things back to back, but all signs are starting to point to burn out. Our energy flow is a fundamental core of our ability to perform at a high level, and far more important than the amount of time we have, so it’s imperative that we develop systems to manage those energy levels. Energy comes in cycles and rhythms—it’s something we see in nature, and it’s no different in ourselves. If you want your energy back, you’ve gotta learn how to work with your natural ebbs and flows, instead of against them.

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It might just be me turning into a grouchy old man, but recently I’ve noticed more and more communication habits that really drive me crazy. We tend to focus more on the tactics behind good communication, rather than understanding the principles of actually making people feel seen and heard. Our communication is more than just the words we say—it’s the way we say it, the emotions behind our words, all the things we don’t say, and so many more non-verbal cues. When we focus solely on tactics, we’re not effectively communicating. This year, I’m gonna challenge you to drop 3 specific communication habits, and I’m sharing what I think you should try out instead.

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Connect with Danny!

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Got a little bit of a tough love episode for y’all today, and in my opinion, if you find yourself experiencing this one thing, you’re a bottom 50% coach or leader: defensiveness. Defensiveness is a toxic blind spot. It’s a self-protective mechanism but it redirects blame and hinders conflict resolution while obstructing personal growth. Self-esteem can be fragile and confidence is often paradoxical, but if you’re looking bot the antidote to defensiveness, accepting responsibility and fostering genuine dialogue and collaboration is a great place to start. Disagreeing with your clients, partners, or anyone you have a personal relationship with is like a dance, if you can find common ground and maintain neutrality, you can break free from the destructive cycle of defensiveness.

At the heart of it, this is really a personal development podcast, and one thing that people are really searching for right now in the scope of personal development is how to stop overthinking. I used to be a classic over-thinker and I’ve certainly worked with plenty of people who are the same, so if you’re someone who struggles with perfectionistic tendencies, low self-esteem, and rumination, this one is for you. And remember, these things are mental health practices, emphasis on practice, which means you’re not just going to flip a switch and understand everything perfectly. You don’t need to overthink your overthinking, you just need to take one step forward.

Check out the Take Care website and join the mailing list for insights delivered right to your inbox every week!

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Connect with Danny!

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Website: dannycoleman.net

If you’ve heard even one episode of this podcast, you’ll know how much I dislike personality tests, and that’s being generous. People are notoriously bad at self-awareness, and therefore can never accurately self-describe our personality traits. But having accurate self-awareness is critical in how we make decisions, regulate our emotions, and grow as human beings. Today I’m sharing 5 psychological quirks I’ve observed over the years, and what it means if any of these qualities apply to you.

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One of the key tenets of coaching and leadership is being able to communicate clearly and effectively. In all communication, especially as leader, there are 3 laws we need to take into account when interacting with different people. If you abide by these three laws, you’re far more likely to have trust, power, commitment—all the most powerful tools you can have as a leader. If you can master these, your leadership will be that much better.

Check out the Take Care website and join the mailing list for insights delivered right to your inbox every week!

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Connect with Danny!

Instagram: @itsdannycoleman

Twitter: @itsdannycoleman

Website: dannycoleman.net