Content warning: Letter 2 includes a brief reference to SA, no details. It’s not the focus of the letter, but I do bring up the context of being a survivor. If this makes you uncomfortable, see the timestamps below to skip.

This week on Hello Hayes, Hayes answers three advice submissions about how to balance two people's physical needs in a romantic relationship, advocating for our needs and fantasies in bed, and whether it's okay to talk to your friends about your sex life. (PS: If you have any personal experiences to share about asexuality, polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, and/or open relationships, please tell us in the comments! This is a very nuanced conversation and I realize I'm just scratching a surface in the first letter. Would love to hear from all of you and keep the convo going.)

00:00 Introduction

00:36 Talking about sex

02:44 “What will make us satisfied?”

07:51 What is asexuality?

10:17 Compromise is necessary

13:49 Define intimacy as a couple

18:39 Ethical non-monogamy

26:45 “I want more adventurous $ex"

29:06 Speaking up for what you want

31:16 Unpacking expectations

33:57 Taking the lead & communicating

38:13 Contextualizing being a survivor

40:52 When to bring it up

43:21 “Can I talk to a friend about my relationship?”

44:31 Sharing experiences individually

49:18 Trust in a confidant

51:14 Proceed with caution

The Trevor Project is a great source of information and support for the LGBTQ+ community. Website here: https://www.thetrevorproject.org

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