Tangentially Speaking with Christopher Ryan

What is “intimacy?” Is partial intimacy possible? Is “falling in love” really just falling into our own projections? What are we projecting? What are we protecting? Can we truly love without constantly risking the loss of who/what we love? Is it worth the risk?

Marcus grew up in a ghetto in Ohio, moved to Appalachia as a teenager, then to a houseboat among mangroves on Key West til the hurricane hit, stopped for a while in a cave outside of Crestone, and is now building a house for his family here. He’s a success story, if I’ve ever heard one. Dude is full of talent and wisdom, and he makes living in Crestone a lot richer for the rest of us.

Trigger warning. This is a conversation about sexual assault.

The obligatory commentary on the Cornell case. But really, we don’t know the details about that particular case, so it’s more about these kinds of cases. He said, she said, they said, he changed his story, she recanted, they said something else and the lawyers said to say nothing at all.

Originally from South Africa, Spencer has lived around the world. He’s been in Japan long enough to learn the language and get real insight into the cultures. I’ve never been, but I’m fascinated by the place.

Shane has spent the past few years building out a schoolbus, and now he’s taking it out on the road. His first stop was Crestone.

Our previous podconvo was ten years ago.

Follow Shane’s travels on his Instagram.

Is “genocide” the right word? Does it matter? Are our “leaders” psychopaths? Is it possible to do what they do and NOT be psychopathic?Instructions for getting the paid RSS feed in apps is here.

Are we ruled by the Closetocracy? Is Andrew Tate a paragon of unresolved trauma? Would Willie Nelson and Dolly Parton work as national leaders? To what extent does cultural context define our experiences? Are certain experiences universally traumatic, or does it depend on the where, when, and why? What to do about venomous snakes in our midst?

Is Super El Niño gonna kill us? Is AI gonna kill us? Is Donald Trump or Putin or Iran gonna kill us? Are things really as out of control as they seem, or is this just what happens when attention becomes a commodity? What’s happening inside AI? What’s happening inside ANY science? Does anyone really know WTF is going on?

James grew up in suburban Chicago, studied philosophy in college, and after trips to Tanzania (living with the Hadza) and working on farms in New Zealand, he moved with his wife to Colorado’s San Luis Valley. They now run a 66-acre property where they’re raising a young son, planning to fence the land for a small bison herd, and running a business (PurePrairieLife.com) selling freeze-dried bison organ supplements. James also runs a cannabis-focused website.

Our conversation ranges from regenerative ranching to hunter-gatherer generosity norms versus Western individualism to religious hypocrisy to “ruthless compassion” — the idea that real kindness sometimes requires harsh boundaries (illustrated through killing rattlesnakes, ending relationships, and giving honest feedback). The episode closes on parenthood, mortality, and the possibility of “joyous grief.”

Chris and I are old friends, from back in the 90s, when I lived in a mansion in Barcelona infested with fashion models. He and his lingerie-model girlfriend were my next-door neighbors. One night in Paris, Chris was drugged and raped by a man who moved in the same circles as many of the powerful, wealthy predators associated with Jeffrey Epstein.