In this deeply compassionate and transformative episode, Anne Bland tackles a listener-requested topic: porn addiction and how it impacts our relationships, intimacy, and sense of self. While pornography is widely consumed, compulsive use can lead to disconnection, shame, and challenges in real-life relationships. But there is hope! Tantra offers a powerful, mindful, and healing path to break free from addiction and rediscover connection, presence, and pleasure.

Highlights

• Understanding porn addiction

Anne explores the rise of porn addiction, sharing eye-opening statistics and its emotional and neurological impact on individuals and relationships.

• The root of addiction

Discover what often lies beneath compulsive behaviors: emotional disconnection, stress, and avoidance of vulnerability - and how awareness is the first step to healing.

• How Tantra helps

Learn how Tantric principles can support you in:

• Reconnecting with your body through breathwork and mindfulness.

• Rebalancing energy with conscious self-pleasure practices.

• Healing emotional patterns and learning to sit with uncomfortable feelings.

• Rebuilding trust and intimacy in relationships through presence, mindful touch, and shared practices.

• A personal story

Anne shares a powerful client transformation where Tantric tools replaced shame and performance pressure with connection and authentic pleasure.

• Special highlight

Anne invites listeners to listen to the next episode which is her insightful conversation with intimacy expert Susan Bratton, who offers practical tools for overcoming intimacy blocks and rekindling passion.

Practical tools you’ll learn in this episode

1. How to start a mindful, Tantric self-pleasure practice to re-sensitise your body.

2. Using breathwork to regulate the nervous system and calm overstimulation.

3. Creating emotional safety and trust in relationships.

4. Exploring intimacy as a journey—not a performance.

If this episode resonates with you or someone you care about, please share it. Healing is possible, and you don’t have to walk this path alone. Leave a review on your favorite podcast app, share your thoughts, and let Anne know what topics you’d like to hear next.

Episode disclaimer

This podcast is for informational purposes only and does not substitute professional advice. If you are struggling with addiction, consider seeking guidance from a qualified therapist or coach.

Closing thought

Healing from porn addiction isn’t about shame or blame. It’s about rediscovering connection, presence, and love for yourself and your partner. Tantra offers a profound path to break free and embrace intimacy with an open heart.

You are not broken. Healing begins with presence, patience, and compassion.

Join the Pleasure Quest. There is one for female bodies and another for male bodies.

Book a free 30-minute Zoom call to explore coaching

Download a FREE Pleasure Guide "Pleasure is Your Birthright - 7 Holistic Sex Tools."

Podcast website: https://www.selfishlyhappyyou.com/podcast

Email: annebland(at)selfishlyhappyyou.com

Send a voice message.

Support the Podcast: Consider supporting us by buying a coffee or lunch. Your contributions help us continue bringing you valuable content and improving the podcast quality

In this episode, Anne Bland discusses the 4B movement from South Korea that focuses on autonomy, self-respect, and self-empowerment. The 4B movement stands for four ‘no’s: no marriage, no childbirth, no dating, and no sexual relationships with men until women have the same rights and opportunities as men. But this isn’t just about saying ‘no’; it’s about saying ‘yes’ to living life on one’s own terms, creating space for true happiness, liberation, and fulfilment. After the presidential elections, 4B (and 5B, 6B and 7B) movement has gained momentum in the USA where women's sexual health rights are in jeopardy. Anne explores how the 4B movement’s message of radical autonomy aligns with Selfishly Happy Revolution and how reclaiming pleasure can become a powerful, positive force.

Anne explains what it means to embrace autonomy and pleasure in a world that often prioritises economic productivity and performance over self-care and conformity over individuality. Drawing on concepts from Tantra and therapeutic self-empowerment, this episode speaks to anyone ready to embrace a life that aligns with their deepest values, regardless of gender.

What’s Covered in This Episode?

1. Understanding the 4B Movement: Its origins, principles, and what it represents for self-empowerment.
2. Moving Beyond the Dominance Model: How societal "dominance model" coined by Dr Riane Eisler impacts personal autonomy and the relevance of challenging it today.
3. Selfishly Happy Revolution: Why autonomy and pleasure are empowering choices that can redefine well-being.
4. Concrete Steps to Embrace Autonomy: Practical ways to bring autonomy and pleasure into everyday life, including:

• Rethinking consumer habits and addressing the pink tax

• Supporting women-owned businesses

• Reclaiming pleasure and self-connection as paths to well-being

5. Three Transformative Practices: Grounding Breath, Heart-Centred Visualisation, and Emotion-Naming Body Scan to help listeners reconnect with themselves and process emotions in a healthy, empowered way.

Key Takeaways

• The 4B movement isn’t about rejecting relationships but about prioritising self-respect, well-being, and authentic connection for a period of time.

• Embracing autonomy and pleasure allows each person to break free from societal expectations that don’t align with their true values.

• Simple practices can help reconnect with oneself, redefine relationships, and find greater happiness and fulfillment.

Call to Action

Anne encourages listeners to reflect on where they might be saying ‘yes’ out of obligation rather than joy. Could you start choosing what brings happiness and peace instead? This episode guides listeners in taking concrete steps toward a life that’s Selfishly Happy: avoid the "pink tax", support women- and ethnic minority-owned businesses, and celebrate pleasure as a path to well-being.

Connect with Anne

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to Tantric Sex for Lovers and Others for more episodes on empowerment, self-discovery, and pleasure, and consider giving it 5 stars and a review. Follow Anne Bland on Instagram @SelfishlyHappyWithAnneBland for more insights and practices to live a life that’s Selfishly Happy.

Join the Pleasure Quest. There is one for female bodies and another for male bodies.

Book a free 30-minute Zoom call to explore coaching

Download a FREE Pleasure Guide "Pleasure is Your Birthright - 7 Holistic Sex Tools."

Podcast website: https://www.selfishlyhappyyou.com/podcast

Email: annebland(at)selfishlyhappyyou.com

Send a voice message.

Support the Podcast: Consider supporting us by buying a coffee or lunch. Your contributions help us continue bringing you valuable content and improving the podcast quality

Redefining Erectile Dysfunction with Tantra on our 50th Episode!

In this milestone 50th episode of Tantric Sex for Lovers and Others, Anne Bland celebrates the shared journey and dives deep into erectile dysfunction, or as she reframes it, “flexible erection.” Rather than focusing on performance, this episode invites us to explore ED from a Tantra-inspired perspective that emphasises connection, presence, and mindful intimacy.

Episode Highlights

Reflecting on 50 episodes

Anne Bland shares the story of the podcast’s growth, inspired by listener feedback and a vision to destigmatise and enrich conversations around Tantra, intimacy, and personal growth.

Rethinking erectile dysfunction

Discover how ED, often seen as a “dysfunction,” can instead be viewed as an invitation to deeper connection. Anne offers a fresh perspective, steering away from performance pressure towards intimacy that isn’t defined by traditional markers of success.

A personal listener story

Anne reads a heartfelt listener email that beautifully captures how Tantra has transformed one man’s intimate life, showcasing the power of holistic practices.

Invitations to Pleasure Quests

Anne’s new eight-week courses, “Pleasure Quests,” one for males and one for females, are designed to support a deeper journey into self-pleasure, connection, and vitality. They build on her eBook "Pleasure is Your Birthright - 7 Holistic Sex Tools".

Whether you experience ED, know someone who does, or want to deepen your understanding of holistic intimacy, this episode offers invaluable insights. Join Anne as she redefines male and female experiences of arousal, expands the conversation around masculinity, and introduces gentle yet powerful Tantric tools for embracing a full-body approach to pleasure.

What you can do next is to:

• Join the Female Pleasure Quest and the Male Pleasure Quest here: https://www.selfishlyhappyyou.com/pleasure-quest

• Download the “Pleasure is Your Birthright” ebook: https://www.selfishlyhappyyou.com/pleasure-is-your-birthright

• Leave a review to share your favourite episode or moment from the podcast!

Anne would love to hear from you! What’s been your favourite insight so far? Let her know via social media or email, and stay tuned as she continues delivering this podcast for the next 50 episodes.

Join the Pleasure Quest. There is one for female bodies and another for male bodies.

Book a free 30-minute Zoom call to explore coaching

Download a FREE Pleasure Guide "Pleasure is Your Birthright - 7 Holistic Sex Tools."

Podcast website: https://www.selfishlyhappyyou.com/podcast

Email: annebland(at)selfishlyhappyyou.com

Send a voice message.

Support the Podcast: Consider supporting us by buying a coffee or lunch. Your contributions help us continue bringing you valuable content and improving the podcast quality

In this episode, Anne Bland tackles premature ejaculation (PE) from a fresh and compassionate perspective. Rather than focusing on the problem, she explores how Tantra offers a path to deeper connection, sexual mastery, and prolonged pleasure. Learn how to harmonize your sexual energy, dismantle common myths about PE, and move from performance anxiety to authentic, empowered intimacy.

Key Topics Covered:

- Reframing Premature Ejaculation: Anne introduces a new term, "Harmonised Pleasure," to shift the focus from performance to pleasure, aligning with the principles of Tantra.

- Causes of PE: A deep dive into the psychological and biological factors that can lead to PE, including anxiety, stress, hormonal imbalances, and physical illness.

- Tantric Techniques for Sexual Mastery: Discover practical tools like breathwork, mindful touch, and the stop-start method to help manage sexual energy and prolong pleasure.

- 7 Holistic Sex Tools: Insights from Anne's eBook, Pleasure Is Your Birthright, that you can use to enhance your sexual experiences, including intention, breath, and energy awareness.

- Tantric Affirmations for Confidence such as: "In this moment, I honour my body, my energy, and my pleasure. I am whole, I am empowered, and I am in harmony with myself and my partner."

Join the Pleasure Quest. There is one for female bodies and another for male bodies.

Book a free 30-minute Zoom call to explore coaching

Download a FREE Pleasure Guide "Pleasure is Your Birthright - 7 Holistic Sex Tools."

Podcast website: https://www.selfishlyhappyyou.com/podcast

Email: annebland(at)selfishlyhappyyou.com

Send a voice message.

Support the Podcast: Consider supporting us by buying a coffee or lunch. Your contributions help us continue bringing you valuable content and improving the podcast quality

In today's episode, a young listener shares her struggles with modern dating and the pressure to move too quickly into sex. Anne Bland discusses how Tantra can help create deeper connections through practices that encourage intimacy beyond just the physical. Techniques such as conscious communication, mindful touch, and shared activities build emotional bonds.

Introduction to Requested Men’s Sexual Problems Series: This episode also serves as an introduction to the upcoming episodes focusing on men’s sexual problems. Anne will explore how Tantra can address these issues in future episodes, offering practical advice and holistic approaches to help men overcome common challenges.

What You Can Do?

Share This Episode: Who might benefit from this episode? Please share with them and ask them to subscribe and give a review.

Share Your Story: Have a similar experience or thoughts on the topic? We’d love to hear from you! Send your messages and emails to be featured in future episodes.

Support the Podcast: Consider supporting us by buying a coffee or lunch. Your contributions help us continue bringing you valuable content and improving the podcast quality.

Join the Pleasure Quest. There is one for female bodies and another for male bodies.

Book a free 30-minute Zoom call to explore coaching

Download a FREE Pleasure Guide "Pleasure is Your Birthright - 7 Holistic Sex Tools."

Podcast website: https://www.selfishlyhappyyou.com/podcast

Email: annebland(at)selfishlyhappyyou.com

Send a voice message.

Support the Podcast: Consider supporting us by buying a coffee or lunch. Your contributions help us continue bringing you valuable content and improving the podcast quality

In this Midsummer episode, Anne Bland explores the magic and sensuality of Midsummer. Drawing from recent listener feedback on polyamory and swinging, Anne delves into the pressures and misconceptions surrounding these practices and offers practical advice for groups, couples and singles. Celebrate the beauty of Midsummer with rituals, solo, couple or group practices, and mindful connections that honour your sensuality, and erotism in a way that feels aligned with you, and fosters emotional wholeness. Rituals, erotic practices, creative processes and meditations are all part of this significant time of the year wherever you are in the world. Happy Juhannus!

If you have any questions or topics you’d like us to cover in future episodes, please reach out to Anne at annebland (at) selfishlyhappyyou.com or send a voice message through SpeakPipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/SelfishlyHappy

Please subscribe and leave a review if you enjoyed this episode. Your support helps this podcast reach more listeners and continue to create valuable content.

Join the Pleasure Quest. There is one for female bodies and another for male bodies.

Book a free 30-minute Zoom call to explore coaching

Download a FREE Pleasure Guide "Pleasure is Your Birthright - 7 Holistic Sex Tools."

Podcast website: https://www.selfishlyhappyyou.com/podcast

Email: annebland(at)selfishlyhappyyou.com

Send a voice message.

Support the Podcast: Consider supporting us by buying a coffee or lunch. Your contributions help us continue bringing you valuable content and improving the podcast quality

In this PART 2, Anne Bland discusses what according to her experience are the emotional and energetic dynamics in non-monogamous, one-night stands, and even in some Tantric relationships from the women's perspectives. To make her point, Anne uses stereotypes. However, every person and relationship is unique and requires a tailored approach. Anne emphasises discernment and invites listeners to join her on the podcast to discuss their points of view. Anne finishes with potential solutions and coping strategies.

Join the Pleasure Quest. There is one for female bodies and another for male bodies.

Book a free 30-minute Zoom call to explore coaching

Download a FREE Pleasure Guide "Pleasure is Your Birthright - 7 Holistic Sex Tools."

Podcast website: https://www.selfishlyhappyyou.com/podcast

Email: annebland(at)selfishlyhappyyou.com

Send a voice message.

Support the Podcast: Consider supporting us by buying a coffee or lunch. Your contributions help us continue bringing you valuable content and improving the podcast quality

PART 1. There is an interesting phenomena that Anne Bland has noticed recently in such an extend that she felt it required, not just one, but two part episode. In the dating world that encourages one-night stands, Tantric circles, ethical non-monogamous, and polyamory situations, Anne has learned that women can feel broken. In this 2-part episode, she discusses how the pressures of "being empowered in sex and sexuality" - which in so many words means casual sex - can lead women to feel disconnected and guilty, and many have used the phrase: "Am I somehow broken...?"

The female biochemistry, especially the "happy hormones" kick in after sex more than in male bodies and can make women less ablet o detach emotionally. Anne also discusses how Tantra explains this through Yin and Yang, the opposite energy poles, in male and female bodies and how it can cause women to feel these unnecessary negative emotions.

If you feel like this or have any questions please contact Anne below.

Join the Pleasure Quest. There is one for female bodies and another for male bodies.

Book a free 30-minute Zoom call to explore coaching

Download a FREE Pleasure Guide "Pleasure is Your Birthright - 7 Holistic Sex Tools."

Podcast website: https://www.selfishlyhappyyou.com/podcast

Email: annebland(at)selfishlyhappyyou.com

Send a voice message.

Support the Podcast: Consider supporting us by buying a coffee or lunch. Your contributions help us continue bringing you valuable content and improving the podcast quality

We haven't been taught about relationships and how to become happy in couplehood. There isn't an MBA for Relationships - and there really should be. Sometimes it is just about learning the tools and having a roadmap to co-create a beautiful, loving, healing, and sexy relationship. Anne Bland shares her experience from her Tantric retreat for couples and celebrates the conscious coupling where partners can grow and heal far better than when alone, proving that both parties are willing to do the work. Relationships are big trigger points that bring light to the shadow parts that were established due to childhood unmet needs. Becoming self-aware of these and having support is the first step in having great relationships. Safety is paramount in any relationship and if you do not feel safe at all levels, please reach out for help and make sure you are safe.

Join the Pleasure Quest. There is one for female bodies and another for male bodies.

Book a free 30-minute Zoom call to explore coaching

Download a FREE Pleasure Guide "Pleasure is Your Birthright - 7 Holistic Sex Tools."

Podcast website: https://www.selfishlyhappyyou.com/podcast

Email: annebland(at)selfishlyhappyyou.com

Send a voice message.

Support the Podcast: Consider supporting us by buying a coffee or lunch. Your contributions help us continue bringing you valuable content and improving the podcast quality

Anne Bland says a quick hello from her Tantric retreat in France. The Art of Connection is a retreat for couples taking place in a Château. Anne is going to be back with a longer episode next week.

Join the Pleasure Quest. There is one for female bodies and another for male bodies.

Book a free 30-minute Zoom call to explore coaching

Download a FREE Pleasure Guide "Pleasure is Your Birthright - 7 Holistic Sex Tools."

Podcast website: https://www.selfishlyhappyyou.com/podcast

Email: annebland(at)selfishlyhappyyou.com

Send a voice message.

Support the Podcast: Consider supporting us by buying a coffee or lunch. Your contributions help us continue bringing you valuable content and improving the podcast quality