Thanks For Asking

What makes a good mom? Is it adhering to the perfectly packaged image of a shiny, happy woman cooking lavish meals with her 2.5 children, always cleaning, never complaining, and never NOT grateful, doting, and happy? No – but that doesn’t mean that the expectations are any more attainable. Any choice a mom makes is immediately subject to scrutiny or ridicule. Anything she does is under a microscope. She can’t miss a beat. She can’t wonder what her life might have been if she wasn’t a mother. And she DEFINITELY can’t do anything for herself.

Today, Nora talks with Libby Ward, the author of the brand new book Honest Motherhood: on Losing My Mind and Finding Myself.

Get a copy of Libby’s new book HERE.

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It’s rare to have a friendship that actually lasts forever, but that’s what Josie and Miles have. When Miles’s cancer comes back after years of remission, Josie is there for him every step of the way … until there are no more steps to take. 

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Find Nora’s weekly newsletter ⁠here⁠! Also, check out Nora on ⁠YouTube⁠.

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The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry.

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Find all our shows at ⁠www.feelingsand.co.⁠

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Refresh your spring wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com/TFA

Shop Everyday Cotton, and all of my favorite bras and underwear, at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

MasterClass keeps adding new classes, so there’s never been a better time to get in. Right now, as a listener of this show, you get at least 15% off any annual membership at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. That’s 15% off at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. Head to MASTERCLASS.com/TFA to see the latest offer!

Experience your juiciest and deepest sensual experience with a bottle of Foria. FORIA is offering a special deal for our listeners. Get 20% off your first order by visiting foriawellness.com/TFA OR use code TFA at checkout. That’s F-O-R-I-A WELLNESS DOT COM FORWARD SLASH TFA for 20% off your first order. I recommend trying Awaken or their Pleasure Set with all three of their best sellers.

With evening and weekend course options, Fordham’s online MSW lets you keep working while earning your degree, completing the program in as few as 16 months. Learn more and apply at fordham.edu/TFA

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Today, we're giving validation, pep talks and space to vent for listeners struggling with:

☎️ Give us a call or drop us a text at ‪(612) 568-4441‬

📺 Watch us on YouTube here

📧 Join our community and get all of Nora's writing here.

Get this episode ad-free here!

Listen to Geoffrey’s album on Spotify and Apple!

Our Sponsors:

❤️ Refresh your spring wardrobe with Quince. Go to ⁠Quince.com/TFA⁠ for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping and 365-day returns. ⁠Quince.com/TFA⁠

❤️ Shop Everyday Cotton, and all of my favorite bras and underwear, at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

❤️ MasterClass keeps adding new classes, so there’s never been a better time to get in. Right now, as a listener of this show, you get at least 15% off any annual membership at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. That’s 15% off at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. Head to MASTERCLASS.com/TFA to see the latest offer!

❤️ With evening and weekend course options, Fordham’s online MSW lets you keep working while earning your degree, completing the program in as few as 16 months. Learn more and apply at fordham.edu/TFA

❤️ Experience your juiciest and deepest sensual experience with a bottle of Foria. FORIA is offering a special deal for our listeners. Get 20% off your first order by visiting foriawellness.com/TFA OR use code TFA at checkout. That’s F-O-R-I-A WELLNESS DOT COM FORWARD SLASH TFA for 20% off your first order. I recommend trying Awaken or their Pleasure Set with all three of their best sellers.

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You know what makes things feel more okay? Kelly Corrigan, the host of Kelly Corrigan Wonders and the author of so many wonderful books (my favorite is Tell Me More). Today, Kelly and Nora dig through a treasure trove of (more than) okay things, including unexpected gratitude from an adult child (CALL YOUR MOM!), a book about a possible alien encounter, slow but steady civic progress and much more. 

You can share your okay things with us at ☎️502-388-OKAY (6529) or 📧 [email protected] 

To support our show, you can subscribe to our YouTube content here.

Get this episode ad-free ⁠here⁠!

Our music is by Secret Audio, and their new album is on Spotify or Apple!

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Refresh your spring wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com/TFA

Shop Everyday Cotton, and all of my favorite bras and underwear, at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

MasterClass keeps adding new classes, so there’s never been a better time to get in. Right now, as a listener of this show, you get at least 15% off any annual membership at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. That’s 15% off at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. Head to MASTERCLASS.com/TFA to see the latest offer!

Experience your juiciest and deepest sensual experience with a bottle of Foria. FORIA is offering a special deal for our listeners. Get 20% off your first order by visiting foriawellness.com/TFA OR use code TFA at checkout. That’s F-O-R-I-A WELLNESS DOT COM FORWARD SLASH TFA for 20% off your first order. I recommend trying Awaken or their Pleasure Set with all three of their best sellers.
With evening and weekend course options, Fordham’s online MSW lets you keep working while earning your degree, completing the program in as few as 16 months. Learn more and apply at fordham.edu/TFA

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As long as people have been grieving, we have found a way to memorialize our dead people. We grievers keep voicemails, photos, letters, clothes – whatever we can to remember our people. With the rise of AI, it’s no wonder companies desperate to increase their shareholder value have turned to us, the grievers. But it’s not our money they want (or at least, not JUST our money) – it’s our dead people. Their voices, their words, their likeness. They want to reanimate our people, just without their bodies and souls. 

A few months ago, I read an incredible article in The Atlantic, titled The AI Companies Trying To Make Grief Obsolete. I knew it was something I NEEDED to talk about, and it just so happened that the author, Charley, was willing to talk to me and share the story of her big brother, Ben, who passed unexpectedly in 2014. 

Grief is not a problem to be solved. It is a part of life. A part that we need.

Read more about AI deadbots here or here. My 2016 piece in Slate is here.

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Watch us on YouTube here!

Get this episode ad-free here!

Listen to Geoffrey’s album on Spotify and Apple!

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Refresh your spring wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com/TFA

Shop Everyday Cotton, and all of my favorite bras and underwear, at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select "podcast" in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

MasterClass keeps adding new classes, so there’s never been a better time to get in. Right now, as a listener of this show, you get at least 15% off any annual membership at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. That’s 15% off at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. Head to MASTERCLASS.com/TFA to see the latest offer!

Experience your juiciest and deepest sensual experience with a bottle of Foria. FORIA is offering a special deal for our listeners. Get 20% off your first order by visiting foriawellness.com/TFA OR use code TFA at checkout. That’s F-O-R-I-A WELLNESS DOT COM FORWARD SLASH TFA for 20% off your first order. I recommend trying Awaken or their Pleasure Set with all three of their best sellers.

With evening and weekend course options, Fordham’s online MSW lets you keep working while earning your degree, completing the program in as few as 16 months. Learn more and apply at fordham.edu/TFA

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode, we hear from Cora Danielson, a comic who has been wrestling with something many women do – her inability to have children despite wanting them very, very much. Her outlet? Improv comedy and the community that came with it, offering her people she could always confide in. Now, two of the women in her group are pregnant and it’s messing with Cora’s head. Her friends haven’t told her they’re pregnant because they don’t want to hurt her feelings, so she heard it from someone else. She feels, overwhelmingly, like they pity her. Today, Nora’s talking to Cora and answering the question many of us have held quietly in our hearts, “How do you deal with being the object of pity?”

Watch us on YouTube here!

Get this episode ad-free here!

Listen to Geoffrey’s album on Spotify and Apple!

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Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Quince.com/TFA to get free shipping and 365-day returns. ⁠Quince.com/TFA⁠

Shop my favorite bras and underwear at ⁠SKIMS.com⁠. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. That’s 15% off at ⁠MASTERCLASS.com/TFA.⁠

With evening and weekend course options, Fordham’s online MSW lets you keep working while earning your degree, completing the program in as few as 16 months. Learn more and apply at ⁠fordham.edu/TTFA.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We would never tell you that everything is going to be OK, but we will tell you that something will be. Today, Nora and guest Elise Loehnen share the things that make them feel like the world isn’t crumbling down around them.

Watch us on YouTube here!

Get this episode ad-free here!

Listen to the Secret Audio album on Spotify or Apple!

Elise’s lipstick

LInk to Heads Carolina, Tails California on Spotify and Apple

Check out Elise’s book!

Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Quince.com/TFA to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com/TFA

Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. That’s 15% off at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA.

With evening and weekend course options, Fordham’s online MSW lets you keep working while earning your degree, completing the program in as few as 16 months. Learn more and apply at fordham.edu/TFA.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What would you say to your dead person? We’re listening in on the Wind Phone. 

You can find a wind phone near you ⁠here⁠, or call us to leave your message for a future episode: 612.568.4441

⁠Watch us on YouTube here⁠!

Get this episode ad-free here!

Listen to Geoffrey’s album on ⁠Spotify⁠ and ⁠Apple⁠!

_

Right now, go to ⁠Quince.com/TFA⁠ for free shipping and 365-day returns. That's a full year to wear it and love it. And you will. Now available in Canada, too. Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping and 365-day returns. ⁠Quince.com/TFA⁠

Shop my favorite bras and underwear at ⁠SKIMS.com⁠. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. That’s 15% off at ⁠MASTERCLASS.com/TFA

With evening and weekend course options, Fordham’s online MSW lets you keep working while earning your degree, completing the program in as few as 16 months. Learn more and apply at ⁠fordham.edu/TTFA.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

 If you lose a spouse, you’re a widow. If you lose your parents, an orphan. But we don’t have the language for someone who lost a sibling – your first friend, your first ally, your first enemy (probably, at least temporarily). Grief always feels like a gut punch, but losing a sibling is a unique kind of pain that we don’t talk about enough. 

So today, I’m joined by Steph Wittels Wachs, former TTFA guest and sister of comedy legend Harris Wittels, who died in 2015 of an accidental overdose. We're talking about what losing a sibling means and sharing the notes, advice and insights from people who know what it’s like to live in the world without their siblings.

Cited in this episode:

Rogne, S., Grotta, A., Liu, C., Berg, L., Saarela, J., Kawachi, I., Hiyoshi, A., & Rostila, M. (2025). All-cause mortality around the anniversary of a sibling’s death: findings from Swedish National Register Data. AMERICAN JOURNAL OF EPIDEMIOLOGY. https://doi.org/10.1093/aje/kwaf213 

Tatjana Gazibara, Katherine A Ornstein, Christina Gillezeau, Melissa Aldridge, Mogens Groenvold, Merete Nordentoft, Lau Caspar Thygesen, Bereavement Among Adult Siblings: An Examination of Health Services Utilization and Mental Health Outcomes, American Journal of Epidemiology, Volume 190, Issue 12, December 2021, Pages 2571–2581, https://doi.org/10.1093/aje/kwab212 

Davidson, D. (2018). Sibling loss - disenfranchised grief and forgotten mourners. Bereavement Care, 37(3), 124–130. https://doi.org/10.1080/02682621.2018.1535882  

Herberman Mash, H. B., Fullerton, C. S., & Ursano, R. J. (2013). Complicated Grief and Bereavement in Young Adults Following Close Friend and Sibling Loss. Depression & Anxiety (1091-4269), 30(12), 1202–1210. https://doi.org/10.1002/da.22068    

Watch us on YouTube here!

Get this episode ad-free here!

Listen to Geoffrey’s album on Spotify and Apple!

LINKS TO RELATED EPISODES!

https://feelingsand.co/podcasts/terrible-thanks-for-asking/86-sundays/ 

https://feelingsand.co/podcasts/terrible-thanks-for-asking/what-does-all-this-loss-mean/ 

Don’t you want someone to take care of you? 

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Right now, go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping and 365-day returns. That's a full year to wear it and love it. And you will. Now available in Canada, too. Don't keep settling for clothes that don't last. Go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com/TFA

Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. That’s 15% off at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA.

With evening and weekend course options, Fordham’s online MSW lets you keep working while earning your degree, completing the program in as few as 16 months. Learn more and apply at fordham.edu/TTFA.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode originally ran in 2016, and we pulled it out of the archives to share with you here, and to kick off a new season of TTFA Anthologies, where we pull together a themed season of some of our best episodes. This season the theme is Grief: It’s Complicated…stories about the kind of grief you won’t find in the sympathy card aisle. Stories like the one you’re about hear. We have a separate podcast feed for these seasons. It’s linked in our show description, or you can find it on your podcast app by searching TTFA Anthologies.

Listen to TTFA Anthologies on Spotify, Apple, or anywhere you listen to your favorite podcasts.

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Damon’s grandparents were murdered 18 months before he was born. He never knew them, but their deaths — and the trial for their killer — defined much of his childhood. 

For nearly three decades, Damon’s mother has attended every parole hearing to deliver a victim impact statement. 

When we meet Damon, there is another such hearing coming up, but his mother is unable to attend. For the first time in his life, Damon prepares to see his grandparents’ murderer face to face.  

Originally published 1/23/2017

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Fordham University’s Master of Social Work program is ranked among the nation's top 8% of graduate social work programs by the U.S. News & World Report. With three New York campuses, plus hybrid and fully online options, Fordham’s flexible program works with your schedule to help you earn a degree on your timeline. Our evening and weekend part-time study plan is ideal for working adults, with most students maintaining employment throughout their education. 

Learn more about Fordham University’s Master of Social Work program at: fordham.edu/TTFA.

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Find Nora’s weekly newsletter here! Also, check out Nora on YouTube.

_

The Feelings & Co. team is Nora McInerny, Marcel Malekebu and Grace Barry.

_

Find all our shows at www.feelingsand.co.

_

Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com/TFA for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Quince.com/TFA to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com/TFA

Shop my favorite bras and underwear at SKIMS.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you! Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA. That’s 15% off at MASTERCLASS.com/TFA.

With evening and weekend course options, Fordham’s online MSW lets you keep working while earning your degree, completing the program in as few as 16 months. Learn more and apply at fordham.edu/TTFA.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices