Communication of Expectations

Explore the perspective that there's no absolute right or wrong, often just a difference in viewpoints (drawing inspiration from Esther Perel).

Acknowledge that each person's family is unique and has its own dynamics.

Embrace Humility

Approach holiday gatherings with humility, recognizing that both partners bring their own backgrounds and traditions into the relationship.

Foster an open mindset to understand and appreciate each other's family dynamics.

Negotiate Priorities

Prioritize and negotiate what aspects of the holiday season are most important to each partner.

Example: Decide if traveling during Christmas is non-negotiable or if there's room for compromise.

Compromise Where Possible

Find common ground and compromise to create a holiday plan that suits both partners.

Recognize that flexibility is key, especially when blending different family traditions.

Express Discomforts

Communicate any discomforts to your partner, serving as a buffer in family interactions.

Example: Share concerns about personal boundaries, such as not wanting to be overly affectionate in certain family settings.

Create a Game Plan

Develop a game plan for holiday gatherings, including specifics like how long you'll stay and what's acceptable behavior around children.

Discuss potential challenges and agree on how to address them in the moment.

In-the-Moment Discussions

Address issues as they arise during holiday events.

Be a united front and step away together if necessary, ensuring that family dynamics don't strain your relationship.

Set Boundaries

Clearly define and communicate boundaries for family interactions.

Establish guidelines for how much time you spend with each family, especially if conflicts arise.

Stay United

Resist external pressures that may attempt to pull you and your partner apart.

Reaffirm your commitment to each other during the holiday season.

Reflect and Adjust

After the holidays, reflect on what worked well and what could be improved.

Use this information to adjust your approach in future holiday seasons for even smoother experiences.