Is your fear of intimacy keeping you from the love you want?

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we’re diving deep into love avoidance—what it is, how it shows up, and the mistakes that keep us from building healthy, connected relationships. If you find yourself pulling away when things get too good, struggling to be vulnerable, or avoiding dating altogether, you’re not alone. These patterns often come from past trauma and a desire to protect ourselves, but they can also block the very intimacy we’re craving.

Whether you’re just starting to explore this part of your healing or you’ve been working on it for a while, this episode offers real talk and real tools to support your journey.

In this episode, we cover…

• 02:43 The most common mistakes love avoidants make in relationships
• 05:35 How trauma creates defense mechanisms that block intimacy
• 14:59 Mistake #1: Getting spooked when things are going well
• 23:20 Mistake #2: Struggling to be emotionally vulnerable
• 30:07 Mistake #3: Avoiding dating altogether
• 36:25 Final reflections and steps to move forward

Resources mentioned in the episode:

• Episode 284: 3 Dating Mistakes to Avoid As A Love Addict: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/284-dating-mistakes
• How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts book: blackgirlsheal.org/books
• Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recovery
• Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired

Connect with us:

• Website: Blackgirlsheal.org
• Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal
• TikTok: @blackgirlsheal
• Facebook: Black Girls Heal

Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.

Our Sponsors:
* Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Are you falling in love with potential instead of reality?

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, I’m diving into three critical mistakes love addicts make when dating—mistakes that can keep you stuck in unhealthy cycles. Whether you're unknowingly romanticizing red flags, struggling to walk away from emotionally unavailable partners, or making dating your full-time job, this episode will help you break free from these patterns.

In this episode, we cover…

• 03:00 - Why falling in love with potential keeps you stuck
• 10:45 - The importance of trusting your instincts when red flags appear
• 17:30 - How making dating your hobby can lead to emotional burnout
• 24:15 - Breaking the cycle of fantasy-driven relationships
• 30:40 - Practical steps to build a fulfilling life outside of dating

Resources mentioned in the episode:

• Download the Free Love Addiction & Avoidance Roadmap: blackgirlsheal.org/roadmap
• Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recovery
• Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired

Connect with us:

• Website: Blackgirlsheal.org
• Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal
• TikTok: @blackgirlsheal
• Facebook: Black Girls Heal

Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.

Our Sponsors:
* Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm diving deep into how healing circles can transform your journey through love addiction recovery. After years of coaching women through attachment struggles, I've seen firsthand how creating the right community can accelerate healing in ways individual work simply can't.

We explore exactly how to build your own healing circle—from finding the right participants to establishing crucial ground rules that create safety for vulnerability. I share practical tips for structuring your meetings, developing a curriculum that promotes real growth, and navigating the inevitable conflicts that arise when people are doing deep healing work together.

In this episode, we cover…

• 02:35 - The sisterhood effect on healing
• 03:56 - How to create your own healing circle
• 09:16 - Setting your healing circle up for success
• 17:16 - Ground rules for safety
• 29:13 - Ways to structure your healing circle
• 34:41 - How to ask and provide for feedback 
• 45:42 - How to find your circle sisters

Resources mentioned in the episode:

• Listen to Episode 282: How to Heal in Community (7 Tips to Make Sisterhood Work): blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/282-heal-community
• The Black Girls Healing Circle Workbook: https://amzn.to/3Dx3uDj
• Listen to Episode 56: Starting A Healing Circle: blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/episode-55-starting-a-healing-circle
• The Healed and Loved Woman Retreat: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/retreat
• How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts book: blackgirlsheal.org/books
• Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recovery
• Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired

Connect with us:

• Website: Blackgirlsheal.org
• Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal
• TikTok: @blackgirlsheal
• Facebook: Black Girls Heal

Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.

Our Sponsors:
* Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm diving deep into something that's essential for our healing journey but often overlooked—the power of sisterhood and community. As someone who's experienced both the isolation of healing alone and the transformative power of healing in community, I'm sharing seven practical tips to help you build and nurture meaningful friendships that support your growth.

In this episode, we cover…

• 01:00 The importance of community in healing
• 04:45 Where to find friends
• 15:41 Why you should invest in friendships
• 18:24 Challenges in building friendships
• 26:29 Finding friends with a good track record
• 32:20 How to handle rejection and ghosting
• 35:37 Accepting different levels of friendship
• 42:42 Prioritizing self-care and avoidance to grow your friendships

Resources mentioned in the episode:

• Listen to Episode 56: Starting A Healing Circle: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/episode-55-starting-a-healing-circle
• The Black Girls Healing Circle Workbook: https://amzn.to/3Dx3uDj
• Listen to Episode 108: How to Make Adult Female Friendships with Danielle Bayard Jackson: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/episode-108-how-to-make-adult-female-friendships-with-danielle-bayard-jackson
• The Healed and Loved Woman Retreat: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/retreat
• Join our email list: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/mailing-list
• How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts book: blackgirlsheal.org/books
• Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recovery
• Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired

Connect with us:

• Website: Blackgirlsheal.org
• Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal
• TikTok: @blackgirlsheal
• Facebook: Black Girls Heal

Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.

Our Sponsors:
* Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're having an honest conversation about something that hits deep—why we stay in relationships even when we're completely exhausted. From social media discussions to real-life experiences, we're seeing how women often find themselves caught in cycles of emotional labor and self-improvement, all while trying to make a relationship work that's draining their energy.

Through my years of coaching women, I've identified the key stages we go through in these relationships: from the initial comfort and commitment, through the stress and burnout, to the moments of clarity that finally lead to change.

In this episode, we cover…

• 09:14 Stages of relationship commitment
• 13:35 Stress and burnout in relationships
• 25:49 Emotional and physical impact of relationships
• 36:50 Resignation vs. true self-love
• 45:50 Deep self-forgiveness and trauma work

Resources mentioned in the episode:

• Listen to Episode 174: Healing our Womb and Pelvic Floor with Dr. Alicia Jeffrey-Thomas: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/174-healing-our-womb-pelvic-floor-with-dr-alicia-jeffrey-thomas
• How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts book: blackgirlsheal.org/books
• Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recovery
• Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired

Connect with us:

• Website: Blackgirlsheal.org
• Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal
• TikTok: @blackgirlsheal
• Facebook: Black Girls Heal

Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.

Our Sponsors:
* Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving deep into something that can shake your whole world—when someone you're dating suddenly goes quiet or starts feeding you breadcrumbs of attention. Whether they're ghosting you completely or keeping you hanging with "I'm just busy" texts, we're getting real about what this behavior actually means.

Through my years of coaching women through love addiction recovery, I've seen how these disappearing acts can leave us questioning our worth and replaying every moment trying to figure out what we did wrong. Today, I'm breaking down the manipulation tactics some people use to keep you attached, and more importantly, how to recognize them before they drain your energy.

In this episode, we cover…

• 03:31 Common manipulation tactics
• 14:24 How to break the self-blame cycle
• 26:02 Doing the inner work
• 31:33 How to communicate your needs
• 39:42 The truth about disappearing acts
• 43:18 Coping with no contact

Resources mentioned in the episode:

• How to Pick Partner Checklist: blackgirlsheal.thrivecart.com/how-to-pick-partners-checklist/
• Listen to Episode 253: The 4 Steps of No Contact: blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/steps-no-contact
• Listen to Episode 279: 4 Steps to Help Yourself Heal and Relationships to Flourish: blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/279-4-steps-heal-yourself-relationships-flourish 
• How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts book: blackgirlsheal.org/books
• Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recovery
• Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired

Connect with us:

• Website: Blackgirlsheal.org
• Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal
• TikTok: @blackgirlsheal
• Facebook: Black Girls Heal

Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.

Our Sponsors:
* Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm breaking down the complete framework I use with my coaching clients to transform their relationship patterns — the Bloom Method. After years of helping women heal from love addiction, love avoidance, and love deprivation, I've developed this powerful approach that guides you from identifying toxic roots to cultivating lasting change.

Through my work at the Love Addiction Recovery School, I've seen how this method helps women restore their relationship with themselves and create deeper, more authentic connections with others. Think of it like tending a garden: we start by uprooting what no longer serves you, cultivate fresh soil for new growth, harvest the fruits of your work, and learn how to maintain your flourishing garden.

In this episode, we cover…

• 00:57 Overview of the Love Addiction Recovery School
• 03:24 The Bloom Method Explained
• 06:23 Step 1: Uprooting the Weeds
• 16:54 Step 2: Cultivating the Ground
• 25:14 Step 3: Harvesting the Fruits
• 29:46 Step 4: Tending and Maintaining

Resources mentioned in the episode:

• Listen to Episode 278: The First Three Steps to Heal Love Addiction
• Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
• Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

• Website: Blackgirlsheal.org
• Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal
• TikTok: @blackgirlsheal
• Facebook: Black Girls Heal

Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.

Our Sponsors:
* Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal  podcast, we dive deep into the topic of love addiction and explore the steps to break free from its cycles. Learn about the free downloadable resource “The Five Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction” and discover how to identify and detox from addictive relationships. We also discuss the importance of addressing unresolved childhood wounds and building a supportive network for effective healing. Whether you are dealing with love addiction, love avoidance, or love deprivation, this episode provides invaluable insights and tools to help you achieve a love-balanced life.

In this episode, we cover…

• 03:53 What is Love Addiction?
• 06:51 Steps to heal Love Addiction
• 15:42 Detoxing from addictive relationships
• 30:24 Why you need to clear toxic roots

Resources mentioned in the episode:

• Stop your love addiction patterns in 5 steps using the Heal Love Addiction Roadmap
• Check out the How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts book
• Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
• Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

• Website: Blackgirlsheal.org
• Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal
• TikTok: @blackgirlsheal
• Facebook: Black Girls Heal

Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.

Our Sponsors:
* Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into something that many of us struggle with—protecting our individuality when new love enters the picture. You know that excitement when someone new comes into your life and suddenly you want to share every moment with them? Today, we're talking about why that impulse, though natural, needs some healthy boundaries.

Through my years of coaching women through love addiction recovery, I've discovered three powerful strategies that can help you maintain your identity while building meaningful connections. These aren't just tips —they're practical tools that can transform how you approach new relationships and protect your emotional wellbeing.

In this episode, we cover…

• 03:46 The importance of slowing down
• 05:17 Tip 1: Share your joy with friends first
• 14:52 Tip 2: Set scheduled times and dates
• 19:46 Tip 3: Hold off on sexual intimacy

Resources mentioned in the episode:

• Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
• Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

• Website: Blackgirlsheal.org
• Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal
• TikTok: @blackgirlsheal
• Facebook: Black Girls Heal

Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.

Our Sponsors:
* Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm diving deep into how I personally use astrology as a powerful tool for healing and understanding relationships. As someone who was once skeptical and came from a Christian ministry background, I share how astrology has evolved from being something I dismissed to becoming an invaluable resource in my personal growth and coaching practice.

Through breaking down the basics of natal charts, planetary placements, and houses, I explain how astrology is far more complex and personalized than just your sun sign. We explore why your exact birth time and location matter, and how different placements in your chart can affect everything from how you communicate to how you experience love.

In this episode, we cover…

• 02:00 - Breaking down astrological basics 
• 14:00 - Understanding houses & planetary placements 
• 31:00 - The importance of birth time & location 
• 42:00 - Breaking down the four key placements 
• 54:00 - Venus & love relationships 
• 01:07:00 - Practical applications in daily life

Resources mentioned in the episode:

• CafeAstrology.com
• Astrology for the Soul by Jan Spiller
• Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
• Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.

Connect with us:

• Website: Blackgirlsheal.org
• Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal
• TikTok: @blackgirlsheal
• Facebook: Black Girls Heal

Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.

Our Sponsors:
* Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com


Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy