The Academic Imperfectionist

How often do you take breaks? Scrolling on your phone while your eyes sting with tiredness doesn't count. Do you even know what sorts of activities you find restorative? Do you remember what being relaxed feels like? And don't give me that 'I'm much happier when I'm busy, honest!' nonsense. If you find it hard to switch off and relax, that's not because you don't need a rest. It's because you're out of practice. But it's a skill you can learn (or re-learn) and have fun along the way. And, importantly, it's something you need to do before you crash and burn. Close that laptop and have a sit down with your Imperfectionist friend. Together, we'll locate your OFF switch.

With all the self-improvement advice that's out there these days, you could be forgiven for thinking that you have no excuse for feeling like your life is a mess. Here's an article about how to identify the right sort of to-do list for your personality type! Here's a quiz to tell you what career path best fits your star sign! Here's a t-shirt design that will help calm your nervous system! Sometimes, though, wading through this information takes more time, attention, motivation, and willpower than you currently have. Perhaps you're too overwhelmed even to open your calendar to see what you've got on today. Maybe even the thought of making a sandwich makes you want to cry.  If that's where you are today, I have you covered. I've boiled down some of my five best insights into little prompts that will take you 30 seconds. Dry your eyes and have a listen.

If you want these sanity-saving microfixes in a form that you can print out and stick above your desk (or crumple up and throw across the room, or rip therapeutically to shreds), you can download it here.

The BBC article mentioned in this episode is here.

When was the last time you made a completely frivolous, inconsequential decision? Some of you, I know, are going to have to think hard about your answer to that. Some of you are all about the drama, in the worst possible way. Missing that deadline means sabotaging your entire career. Forgetting that colleague's name means revealing yourself as a giant buffoon to everyone you care about connecting with. Making the wrong decision about which project to work on next means squandering what remains of your potential. You're so anxious about reaching your goals that you're burning through your energy and your peace of mind. You know you can't go on like this, but you're afraid to relax because that means giving up, failure, and oblivion. 

It really doesn't have to be this way, my friend. Not everything matters. There's room in your life and in your career for playfulness, whimsy, and mistakes without consequences. Make yourself a calming cuppa and settle in for some straight talking from The Academic Imperfectionist.

You've done the inner work, the soul searching, the assertiveness training. You're no longer a people-pleasing pushover who agrees to anything anyone asks. These days, you're someone who's not afraid to guard their own boundaries. You know the word 'no', and you're not afraid to use it. Go you! But there's a problem. Sometimes, saying 'no' doesn't work. You get pushback. It feels like sometimes people don't hear you. You don't understand why this happens. And while you've learned to be comfortable with saying 'no', you're out of your depth when it comes to fighting your corner against people who go all-out to get a 'yes'.

I've got you covered, my friend. With a dollop of philosophy of language, a side-serving of sociolinguistics, and a sprinkle of sociology, you can understand what's going on, and what you can do about it. 

References:

Brown, P. and Levinson, S. 1987: Politeness: Some Universals in Language Usage (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press).

Goffman, Erving. 1967: Interaction Ritual: Essays on Face-to-Face Behavior (New York: Pantheon Books).

Grice, H. Paul. 1975: ‘Logic and Conversation’, in Cole, P. and Morgan, J. L. (eds.) Syntax and Semantics, Vol. 3, Speech Acts (New York: Academic Press), 41-58.

Imagine the scenario. You're hanging around the buffet at a conference, or skirting the edges of a post-seminar drinks reception, or - heaven forbid -  drifting around an institutional networking event. As you're clutching your room-temperature drink and trying not to look too awkward, someone you've never met before says hello and asks, 'So, what do you do?' Do you have an answer? Is it a satisfactory one? Or are you someone who lies awake at night wondering how they can curate their career in a way that will enable them to be able to answer this question in a confident, self-assured way? It has come the attention of The Academic Imperfectionist that there are plenty of you out there who worry about this question. It's time to dial down the stress. Grab a cuppa, and get listening!

If you're an academic with ADHD, you're probably battle-hardened from years spent struggling to do things that come easily to your colleagues: focus, resist distractions, tame exciting but messy ideas into nice coherent research papers. But no matter how good you've got at finding ways to get the work done, you're still at a disadvantage. The rules for How To Get Things Done were written for people who don't have ADHD. Living by those rules is harder for you than for other people, and it leaves you with a demoralising sense of being second-rate. My friend, it doesn't need to be like this. You can rewrite the rules to allow you to play to your strengths instead of managing your weaknesses. Your card-carrying academic ADHD imperfectionist buddy is here to set you on the right tracks.

Do you often have thoughts like, 'I just need to finish X, then I can relax'? Except that when you finish X, you still can't relax, because along comes another obligation - and before you know it, you're face-to-face with burnout. If that's you, you're not alone, and you're not incompetent. You're simply approaching your work in a way that has served you well ever since you were a kid: finish your homework now, play later. That approach is not serving you any more, but it's hard to move on because it's part of your identity. Who even are you, if not the kid who gets their homework done?! There's a way through this muddle, my friend. Join The Academic Imperfectionist for a mindset reset.

We all have that one person, don't we, whose success makes us painfully aware of our own shortcomings? A person who serves as a reminder of all the great things we could have been, but aren't. Hearing news of their latest achievement is liable to ruin our entire day, as we rush headlong into reflecting on how flawed and disappointing we are. But what if it's not that simple? What if the reason that person is doing so well is not because they're better than you, but because the two of you have different values, and therefore different priorities? In this episode, I'm going to reframe your depressing comparisons and show you how you can use them to tune in to what you care most about. Turn that frown upside down, my friend, and settle in for some uplifting truth bombs.

You can find my Core Values exercise here, and the Wheel of Life here.

Yeah, okay, clickbaity title, but I really do want to share with you a helpful way of reframing perfectionism that I've been thinking about recently. Perfectionism happens when our lack of confidence in our ability to succeed meets our lack of knowledge about what success requires. Overcoming it requires filling in the gaps in our knowledge and finding constructive ways to respond to our lack of confidence. How do we do this? Well, by thinking about what we do when we're hungry, and also by thinking about getting wedged in an unground tunnel. Hear me out.

Do you ever worry that you're not serious enough for academia? That you're constantly playing whack-a-mole with hiding your many frivolous and unimpressive traits as you try to convince everyone that you deserve your place at the table? That you're a big old fake because you need to curate yourself so much in order to seem like you belong? If so, you're not alone - and it's not because you're flawed. It's because you're yet to uncover academia's dirty little secret: that it's just a job. If you can get your head around that, life will be much less stressful.

References

Goffman, Erving. 1956: The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life (University of Edinburgh Social Sciences Research Centre).

Guignon, Charles. 2004: On Being Authentic (London: Routledge). (Bernard Williams quotation on page viii.)

Hawley, Katherine. 2019: 'What is impostor syndrome?', Aristotelian Society Supplementary Volume 93/1: 203–226.

Kelsky, Karen. 2021: 'Academia is a cult', TEDx Talks.

Rousseau, Jean-Jacques. 1770: The Confessions of Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Lester Crocker (ed.) (New York: Pocket Books, 1957).

Sartre, Jean-Paul. 1943: Being and Nothingness (New York: Washington Square Press, 1992).