The Adoption Roadmap Podcast

Some of the most important lessons about adoption don't come from adoptive parents. They come from the people who made adoption possible in the first place.

When Janelle Basham placed her daughter for adoption 32 years ago, she wasn't in the hospital. She wasn't holding her baby as she said goodbye. She was sitting on a blue couch in another state, watching TV, while another family welcomed her daughter home.

Now, more than three decades later, Janelle has something few people in adoption have: hindsight. As a birth mom, adoption educator, and Executive Director of BraveLove, she's spent years helping families understand what birth mothers are really experiencing—and what hopeful adoptive parents need to know if they want to build relationships rooted in trust, respect, and healing.

This conversation challenges common assumptions about adoption, explores the power of consistent open adoption relationships, and offers practical wisdom that can change not just one family's story—but generations to come.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What birth moms wish hopeful adoptive parents understood before a match ever happens
• Why consistency after placement matters more than grand promises before it
• The truth about open adoption, broken agreements, and rebuilding trust
• How language shapes the way birth moms—and adopted children—experience adoption
• What ethical adoption really looks like from a birth mother's perspective
• Why healthy adoption relationships aren't built overnight—but can become generational

About Janelle Basham:

Janelle Basham is a birth mom, adoption educator, speaker, and the Executive Director of BraveLove, a nonprofit organization dedicated to changing the perception of adoption through education, storytelling, and support for birth mothers. After placing her daughter for adoption more than 32 years ago, Janelle has devoted her career to advocating for ethical adoption practices, empowering birth moms, and helping adoptive families build healthier, more compassionate relationships. Through BraveLove, she provides resources, community, and education that center the voices and experiences of birth mothers while promoting openness, respect, and lifelong connection.

Do you have an adoption "Kismet Moment" you'd like to share? Tell us the story here to be apart of my upcoming podcast episode! https://spotifycreators-web.app.link/e/BNfyVlIUm5b

Connect with Janelle:

Website: https://www.bravelove.org/

Family Life Services: https://www.familylifeservices.org/

If you liked this episode check out: Episode 77 | what Birth Moms Wish You Knew with Jessie Mattos on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/episode/4sz5RqcGJxWD3LXZ2UeYrC?si=8908629d122f4e12

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adoption-roadmap-podcast/id1747000048?i=1000701880720

RG Adoption Consulting

Website → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ 

Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact

Are You Ready to Adopt? Take the Quiz to Find Out → https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/quiz

Before you choose an agency, spend money, or move forward—start with these 10 honest conversations that will help you: https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/10-conversations-before-you-adopt

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow, a 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions, or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ [email protected]⁠⁠⁠

There’s a difference between preparing for adoption… and preparing yourself to become a parent.

When systems strategist, podcaster, and adoptive mom Julie Fried began her adoption journey, she thought she could research her way through it. Spreadsheets, Facebook groups, Google searches—she approached adoption like any other complex project. But what she discovered was that the biggest work wasn’t logistical. It was emotional.

In this honest and deeply thoughtful conversation, Julie shares the lessons she learned about grief, open adoption, slowing down, and making peace with a path that looked different than the one she had imagined. From pausing after her home study to process infertility, to navigating an unexpected NICU experience, to making one of the hardest decisions her family has ever faced, Julie offers wisdom that every hopeful adoptive parent needs to hear.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why researching more isn't always the same as moving forward in your adoption journey
• The emotional work every hopeful adoptive parent should do before becoming a parent
• How grief and adoption can coexist—and why processing one strengthens the other
• What Julie learned after shifting from "no" to embracing the possibilities of open adoption
• How a NICU stay became an unexpected gift during the transition into parenthood
• The heartbreaking decision to decline adopting her daughter's half-sibling—and how they made peace with it

About Julie Fried:

Julie Fried is the host of The System for Everything podcast, where she shares practical systems that simplify business, motherhood, and everyday life. A systems strategist by profession and adoptive mom to her daughter Ellie, Julie brings honesty, empathy, and thoughtful perspective to conversations about adoption, infertility, and parenting. Through her own journey, she has become a passionate advocate for slowing down, processing grief, and embracing adoption with

openness and intention.

Connect with Julie:

Website: https://dallasgirlfriday.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesystemforeverything?utm_source=chatgpt.com

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-system-for-everything/id1818831243

RG Adoption Consulting

Website → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ 

Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact

Are You Ready to Adopt? Take the Quiz to Find Out → https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/quiz

Before you choose an agency, spend money, or move forward—start with these 10 honest conversations that will help you: https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/10-conversations-before-you-adopt

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow, a 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions, or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ [email protected]⁠⁠⁠

Building an open adoption relationship isn't about having the perfect plan.

It's about choosing honesty, trust, and putting the child at the center...again and again.

In this deeply moving conversation, Rebecca sits down with adoptive mom Lindsay McKenzie and birth mom Hali to share what open adoption has actually looked like for them over the past six years. Together, they pull back the curtain on the fears, insecurities, boundaries, and beautiful moments that have shaped their relationship—and why openness isn't something you schedule, it's something you build.

From meeting for the very first time to navigating difficult conversations, milestones, and the questions their son is beginning to ask, Lindsay and Hali offer an honest, hopeful look at what happens when two mothers choose to work together with love, respect, and one shared priority: their child.

Whether you're considering adoption, preparing to meet an expectant parent, or already navigating an open adoption relationship, this episode is filled with wisdom that will stay with you long after it ends.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What hopeful adoptive parents are really afraid of before meeting an expectant mom—and what helps those fears fade
• What open adoption actually looks like years later (and why it doesn't require rigid rules or schedules)
• How trust is built through honest conversations, healthy boundaries, and mutual respect
• Why letting your child lead conversations about their adoption story creates confidence instead of confusion
• The language that strengthens connection—and the phrases both adoptive and birth parents wish people would stop using
• Practical advice for anyone preparing to build an open adoption relationship rooted in authenticity, vulnerability, and love

About Lindsay McKenzie & Hali:

Lindsay McKenzie is an adoptive mother, adoption advocate, and adoption strategist with RG Adoption Consulting. After navigating infertility and her own adoption journey, she now helps hopeful adoptive families prepare for the emotional, practical, and relational realities of adoption. Lindsay is also the author of The Story of You, a children's book created to help adopted children grow up knowing and celebrating their unique story from the very beginning.

Hali is Miles' birth mother and a passionate advocate for openness, honesty, and child-centered adoption. Through her relationship with Lindsay and their shared commitment to keeping Miles at the heart of every decision, she is helping reshape what open adoption can look like. Together, Lindsay and Hali are committed to showing families that healthy, respectful relationships between adoptive and birth parents are not only possible—they can become one of adoption's greatest gifts.

RG Adoption Consulting

Website → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ 

Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact

Are You Ready to Adopt? Take the Quiz to Find Out → https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/quiz

Before you choose an agency, spend money, or move forward—start with these 10 honest conversations that will help you: https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/10-conversations-before-you-adopt

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow, a 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions, or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ [email protected]⁠⁠⁠

Every child deserves to see themselves reflected in the story of how life begins.

But for adopted children, donor-conceived children, and children born through surrogacy or IVF, traditional conversations about reproduction often leave them feeling like an exception instead of part of the story.

In this episode, Rebecca sits down with family physician and educator Dr. Robin Dickinson to explore how parents can talk about bodies, reproduction, consent, and adoption in ways that build confidence instead of confusion. Together, they unpack why the language we use matters, how to make birth stories both truthful and empowering, and why these conversations should start much earlier than most parents realize.

Whether you're parenting through adoption or simply want to raise body-confident, emotionally secure children, this conversation offers practical tools that every family can use.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why every child shares the same origin story—and how that simple truth creates belonging
• How traditional sex education unintentionally leaves adopted children out of the conversation
• Why using anatomically correct language helps protect children and build body confidence
• How to tell your child's adoption story honestly while honoring their birth parents with compassion
• What "the body remembers" means for children adopted at birth and how to parent with greater sensitivity
• How to teach consent, healthy relationships, and body safety from the earliest years—not just during the "sex talk"

About Dr. Robin:

Dr. Robin Dickinson is a family physician, educator, and creator of a comprehensive body literacy and reproduction curriculum designed to help parents have honest, age-appropriate conversations with children. Passionate about inclusive education, Dr. Robin teaches families how to talk about bodies, reproduction, consent, and relationships in ways that affirm every child's story—including adoptees, donor-conceived children, and children born through surrogacy or assisted reproductive technology. Through her work, she helps parents replace shame with confidence and create conversations that foster belonging from the very beginning.

Connect with Dr. Robin:

Website: https://docrobinschool.com/

Free Parent Guides: https://docrobinschool.com/talk

Resources Mentioned:

Project 127: https://www.project127.org/

The Body Keeps the Score: https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/resources/the-body-keeps-the-score

RG Adoption Consulting

Website → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ 

Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact

Are You Ready to Adopt? Take the Quiz to Find Out → https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/quiz

Before you choose an agency, spend money, or move forward—start with these 10 honest conversations that will help you: https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/10-conversations-before-you-adopt

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theadoptionroadmap

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow, a 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions, or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ [email protected]⁠⁠⁠

What does it really mean to belong?

For Isaac Melber, the answer wasn't found the day he was adopted. It was built through countless small moments of love, consistency, and the freedom to embrace every part of his story.

In this episode, Rebecca sits down with author, adoptee, and aspiring pastor Isaac Melber to explore life through the eyes of someone who remembers being adopted. From growing up in a remote village in Ethiopia to navigating identity, grief, anger, faith, and eventually returning to his birth country, Isaac shares a perspective that every hopeful and adoptive parent needs to hear.

This conversation is filled with practical wisdom, powerful storytelling, and gentle reminders that adoption isn't about erasing a child's past—it's about helping them carry it with love, honesty, and hope.

In this episode, we talk about:

• The small moments that create a true sense of belonging beyond simply being loved
• Why a child's anger is often directed at their story—not their adoptive parents
• How to talk honestly about loss without defining a child's future by it
• The difference between helping a child feel chosen versus making them feel rescued
• Why embracing a child's birth culture should become part of the entire family's culture
• What returning to Ethiopia taught Isaac about identity, healing, and finding peace without having every answer

About Isaac:

Isaac Melber is an Ethiopian adoptee, author, speaker, and aspiring pastor. Adopted at five years old by a family in Kentucky, Isaac now shares his story to encourage adoptees, adoptive families, and anyone wrestling with identity, loss, and belonging. His debut memoir, Twice Delivered: A Story of Two Families, Two Worlds, and One Redeeming Love, explores how faith, family, and truth shaped his journey across two worlds while offering hope to others walking their own.

Connect with Isaac:

Website: https://www.isaacmelber.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/isaacmelber/

Twice Delivered: A Story of Two Families, Two Worlds, and One Redeeming Love: https://www.amazon.com/Twice-Delivered-Families-Worlds-Redeeming/dp/B0H2HH6785

RG Adoption Consulting

RG Adoption Consulting

Website → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ 

Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact

Are You Ready to Adopt? Take the Quiz to Find Out → https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/quiz

Before you choose an agency, spend money, or move forward—start with these 10 honest conversations that will help you: https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/10-conversations-before-you-adopt

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow, a 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions, or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ [email protected]⁠⁠⁠

This week's episode flips the mic. Instead of Rebecca Gruenspan interviewing a guest, you're hearing Rebecca be the guest — pulled from her appearance on Podcast Cafe hosted by podcast producer Hayleigh Hayhurst, where she opened up about how The Adoption Roadmap Podcast came to life, why she started podcasting after years of putting it off, and what 100+ episodes have taught her about adoption, audience-building, and herself.

Rebecca shares the real story behind her adoption consulting business, RG Adoption Consulting, and how her own journey to motherhood as a single mom through domestic adoption turned into a mission to make sure no one goes through the adoption process alone.

In this episode:

• How Rebecca's adoption journey led her to become an adoption consultant — and eventually launch her own business
• Why her first three episodes are still her most-downloaded — and what that says about what listeners actually want
• The "tell-it-like-it-is" philosophy that shapes every interview, and why she avoids the fluffy adoption stories already out there
• How adoption has changed over Rebecca's 13 years in the industry: rising costs, falling numbers, more openness, and the growing role of adoption consultants
• The topics in adoption that never go away: transracial identity, drug exposure, openness, and the home study
• Who RG Adoption Consulting works with
• 
  

RG Adoption Consulting

Website → ⁠⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ ⁠

Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact⁠

The Adoption Roadmap: The Four-Step Process To Adopting Your Baby In Less Than A Year → Buy Here on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Adoption-Roadmap-Four-Step-Process-Adopting/dp/B0CKM6KJSV

Before you choose an agency, spend money, or move forward—start with these 10 honest conversations that will help you: ⁠https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/10-conversations-before-you-adopt⁠

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions, or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ [email protected]⁠⁠⁠

The moment every hopeful adoptive parent dreams about is hearing the words, "They picked you."

But what happens next?

In step 1B of the Adoption Roadmap, Rebecca walks through the realities of adoption after a match occurs. From evaluating adoption situations and understanding potential risks to navigating the hospital experience, ICPC, openness, legal finalization, and the financial realities of adoption, this episode provides a practical roadmap for what comes after the waiting.

Rebecca shares the questions every adoptive family should ask, the red flags to watch for, how disruptions typically happen, and what to expect emotionally and logistically as you move closer to bringing your child home.

Whether you're actively waiting to be matched or simply trying to understand the full adoption journey, this episode offers the clarity, preparation, and perspective every hopeful parent needs.

What We Cover:

• What happens after you're matched with an expectant mother
• Risk factors to consider before accepting a match
• Understanding adoption disruptions and financial exposure
• Navigating the hospital experience with empathy and grace
• What ICPC is and why waiting is part of the process
• The shift toward open adoption and why it matters
• Birth father rights and legal considerations
• What finalization looks like after placement
• The true cost of adoption and how families fund it
• Resources, tax credits, and financial support options for adoptive families

RG Adoption Consulting

Website → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ 

Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact

The Adoption Roadmap: The Four-Step Process To Adopting Your Baby In Less Than A Year → Buy Here on Amazon

Before you choose an agency, spend money, or move forward—start with these 10 honest conversations that will help you: https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/10-conversations-before-you-adopt

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions, or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ [email protected]⁠⁠⁠

This episode tackles one of the most anxiety-inducing parts of the adoption process: the home study.

For many hopeful adoptive parents, the home study can feel like an investigation. They're worried about old mistakes, mental health diagnoses, fertility struggles, finances, medical conditions, past trauma, or whether one wrong answer could jeopardize their dream of becoming parents.

In this episode, Rebecca sits down with Molly Berger, licensed social worker at The Adoption Center of Illinois, adoptive mom, and foster parent, for an honest conversation about the questions families are often afraid to ask out loud.

This conversation offers reassurance, practical guidance, and a behind-the-scenes look at a process that often feels mysterious and intimidating. If you've ever wondered whether your past could impact your ability to adopt, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What home study professionals are really looking for during the adoption process

• Whether cannabis use, alcohol consumption, and medical marijuana impact approval

• How agencies evaluate mental health diagnoses, therapy, and medication use

• Why past trauma, infertility grief, and life challenges are often conversations—not disqualifiers

• How finances are assessed and what financial stability actually means

• The role chronic illness, cancer diagnoses, and medical conditions can play in a home study

• The surprising emotional similarities between expectant parents and hopeful adoptive parents

About Molly:

Molly Berger is a licensed social worker with The Adoption Center of Illinois, where she works with both expectant parents and hopeful adoptive families. With more than a decade of experience in adoption, Molly has supported families through home studies, counseling, adoption planning, reunions, and post-placement support. She is also an adoptive mother and foster parent, bringing both professional expertise and personal experience to her work. Molly is passionate about helping families navigate adoption with honesty, education, compassion, and a child-centered approach.

Connect with Molly:

Website: https://www.adoptioncenterofillinois.org/blog/authorbio/molly-berger/

RG Adoption Consulting

Website → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ 

Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact

Are You Ready to Adopt? Take the Quiz to Find Out → https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/quiz

Before you choose an agency, spend money, or move forward—start with these 10 honest conversations that will help you: https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/10-conversations-before-you-adopt

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow, a 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions, or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ [email protected]⁠⁠⁠

No two adoption journeys look the same — and that’s exactly what makes this conversation so powerful.

In this special panel episode, Rebecca sits down with three adoptive parents whose paths to parenthood couldn’t be more different: Lisa, a single mom by choice; Kirk, an adoptee turned adoptive father raising a son with his husband; and Jennifer, who navigated infertility, open adoption, and the unexpected twists that ultimately led her to her daughter.

Together, they share the moments that challenged them, surprised them, and ultimately shaped the families they have today. From navigating fertility struggles and years of waiting to sitting beside birth mothers in hospital rooms and welcoming children through adoption, this conversation is filled with the kind of honest insight only lived experience can provide.

Whether you're just beginning your adoption journey or are already parenting through adoption, this episode offers reassurance, perspective, and a reminder that there is no one right way to build a family.

In this episode, we talk about:

• The moment each family knew adoption was the right path for them

• The assumptions they had about adoption that turned out to be completely wrong

• How open adoption looked different than they expected

• The reality of fall-throughs, waiting, and navigating uncertainty

• What it was like meeting birth parents and being in the hospital for placement

• How their unique family structures shaped their adoption experiences

• Raising children through adoption while honoring identity, culture, and belonging

• The lessons they've learned that they wish every hopeful adoptive parent knew

• Why so many of them nearly gave up — and why they're grateful they didn't

About Our Guests:

Lisa is a single mom by choice who built her family through adoption after navigating both fertility treatments and foster care. Her journey offers a unique perspective on perseverance, parenting, and embracing the unexpected path to motherhood.

Kirk is an adoptee and adoptive father who, alongside his husband, welcomed their son through adoption after experiencing multiple fall-throughs and a NICU placement. His perspective bridges both sides of the adoption experience as both a child and parent touched by adoption.

Jennifer is an adoptive mother, licensed clinical social worker, and advocate for open adoption. Alongside her husband, she welcomed her daughter through adoption and shares openly about building relationships with birth parents, navigating uncertainty, and parenting with empathy and connection.

Together, their stories highlight the many different ways families are built through adoption — and the common threads of resilience, hope, and love that connect them all.

RG Adoption Consulting

Website → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ 

Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact

Are You Ready to Adopt? Take the Quiz to Find Out → https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/quiz

Before you choose an agency, spend money, or move forward—start with these 10 honest conversations that will help you: https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/10-conversations-before-you-adopt

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow, a 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions, or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ [email protected]⁠⁠⁠

Most people begin the adoption process thinking the hardest parts will be the paperwork, the waiting, or the uncertainty.

In reality, the biggest challenge is often unlearning what you've been told about adoption in the first place.

In this episode, Rebecca shares the first step of her Adoption Roadmap and explains why education, emotional preparation, and a deeper understanding of adoption matter long before you complete a home study or match with an expectant mother.

You'll learn what hopeful adoptive parents often misunderstand about adoption, how expectant mothers experience the process, what really happens behind the scenes with agencies and matching, and why approaching adoption with humility can shape the entire journey.

Whether you're just beginning to explore adoption or are already moving forward, this episode will help you build a stronger foundation for what's ahead.

What We Cover:

• The foundation every adoptive parent needs
• Why adoption starts with education, not paperwork
• The emotional side of adoption most people overlook
• What really happens during home studies and matching
• Common myths about expectant mothers
• Why preparation matters more than perfection
• Honoring every part of a child's adoption story
• Building a stronger path forward through adoption

RG Adoption Consulting

Website → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com⁠ 

Book a Complimentary Adoption Strategy Session → ⁠https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/contact

Are You Ready to Adopt? Take the Quiz to Find Out → https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/quiz

Before you choose an agency, spend money, or move forward—start with these 10 honest conversations that will help you: https://www.rgadoptionconsulting.com/10-conversations-before-you-adopt

Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU!

For questions about adoption, episode suggestions or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email⁠⁠⁠⁠ [email protected]⁠⁠⁠