The AMPire Diaries

The AMPire Diaries Episode 85: The Vampire Diaries - “Promised Land”

Do you hear the yammering, AMPies? Honestly, it’s pretty hard to miss. Unless you’re the townspeople of Mystic Falls, it seems. So this week, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Vampire Diaries’ “Promised Land” (Season 5, Episode 21). Which means we’re talking:

- Julian, the lead of The Vampire Diaries.

- Speaking of, when exactly was the last “good” episode of the show?

- Walking. Packing. Meeting.

- BDE: Bonnie/Damon/Enzo.

- Household chores.

- Ways Markos could have been better. (We promise this doesn’t take up the whole episode.) By the way, we are no longer interested in understanding Markos’ plan.

- Gay and Brother: The Duality of Luke.

- The mildest(some could even say milquetoast) of Legacies spoilers.

- The terror of chanting.

- The most feminist TVD character.

- Jill’s finale predictions, as this is the penultimate episode of Season 5.

“OUTRUNNING DEATH” (“Promised Land”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/

Email us! [email protected]

Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod

Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod

Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “Promised Land”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OBtcfMktCM

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Promised Land”: the Traveler’s biggest chant yet

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

The AMPire Diaries Episode 84: The Originals - “The Battle of New Orleans”

Cami Lovers, once again, this episode may not be for you… But please, listen anyway! (We may not love her, but we do love you.) This week, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Originals’ “The Battle of New Orleans” (Season 1, Episode 21). Which means we’re talking:

- Zoo rocks. (That’s rocks… of the zoo.)

- Klaus Mikaelson: Woke King.

- Have you heard of PRESS?

- Hybrids 2.0.

- WHEN HE WANTS SOMETHING…HE TAKES IT.

- Masculinity and slicing.

- The pod’s favorite actor, John Krasinski.

- AK William Bloody.

- You should all try PRESS.

- RIP Mohawk Chick.

- Not wanting Josh to die… yet.

- Jill improves the Hayley pregnancy plot.

“BLOOD IS IN THE AIR” (“The Battle of New Orleans”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/

Email us! [email protected]

Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod

Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod

Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “The Battle of New Orleans”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cj2nfJDzL0

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “The Battle of New Orleans”: The titular Battle of New Orleans… that we have already seen

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

Cole Turner Cast Episode 4: “You Should Spend Halloween With Family”

AMPies! The following podcast episode is from our joint AMPire Diaries/Angel On Top Patreon exclusive podcast, Cole Turner Cast. Please enjoy this spooky episode and peek behind the curtain of the paywall. And for those of your patrons who have already listened to the episode, please enjoy this special re-release intro.

“Fuck the past, I don’t want to know anything.”

Welcome to Cole Turner Cast! The only podcast about Cole Turner, the main character of Charmed, and hosted by LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs) and Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich). This is the podcast where we recap all 45 episodes of Charmed starring the one, the only Cole Turner.

This is a spoiler-full re-watch pod dedicated to a formative evil man who may or may not be redeemed via the love of a good woman (who makes a lot of karate noises).

This week we’re talking Season Three, Episode 4: All Halliwell’s Eve and we’re joined by special guest, Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins) Which means we’re discussing:

- Halloween Costumes

- Get Over It

- Who is “Like Sisters” to Whom

- Cole Turner wearing Elijah Mikaelson’s Wig!

- Julian McMahon, An Australian Kennedy

- How many letters can an apple peel really make?

- Chest Hair is Coming…

- I choose YOU Belthazor!

- THEY HAVEN’T EVEN KISSED YET!!!!

Email us! [email protected] or [email protected]

Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod or @angelontopcast

Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod or @angelontopcast

The AMPire Diaries Episode 83: The Vampire Diaries - “What Lies Beneath”

Never have I ever… Not read the show notes! (This is clearly a test. If you do not acknowledge these show notes, we’ll know which of you AMPies don’t read them. We’re making a list.) Wow, what an original game. This week, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Vampire Diaries’ “What Lies Beneath” (Season 5, Episode 20). Which means we’re talking:

- …is this a good episode of The Vampire Diaries?

- How sad and gay and alone Luke is. We love it.

- WHAT IT TRULY MEANS TO BE HUMAN.

- Tyler Lockwood’s Triumphant Return to being important to the plot.

- Never Have I Ever (a game invented by Damon Salvatore).

- Enzo talking even though no one can hear him. (Also, why isn’t he in the “blue world?”)

- The Real Housevamps of Mystic Falls.

- Merch ideas.

- Once again being gaslit by this show.

“A CABIN IN THE WOODS” (“What Lies Beneath”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/

Email us! [email protected]

Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod

Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod

Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “What Lies Beneath”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIlpbi2lNoI

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “What Lies Beneath”: Salvatore Bros + their ex go on a cabin trip

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

The AMPire Diaries Episode 82: The Originals - “A Closer Walk With Thee”

Welcome to Klaus ‘Cast! The only podcast all about Klaus Mikaelson, the best character of the Vampire Diaries Universe! The podcast that has never said a bad word about Klaus Mikaelson! This week, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Originals’ “A Closer Walk With Thee” (Season 1, Episode 20). Which means we’re talking:

- 🎵Do you know / What it feels like / For a chid?🎵

- Being Team Klaus, as always.

- A Celebration of Life.

- Canon: Genevieve’s talented tongue.

- Swapping one daddy for another daddy.

- Hey hey! Ho ho! Niece Denise has got to go!

- The show's disrespect toward Eve, even in death.

- Official confirmation that Father Kieran fucked.

- When a show spends 20 episodes warming up.

- The main character of The Originals.

- Our cult.

We’re also talking about things of the past in the intro, as this was recorded a month ago. (Sorry! Did a quick pre-intro, but that was only to do a correction on what this week’s Cole Turner Cast is! So if you’ve been waiting for a follow-up on the Cami/electroshock discussion, please keep waiting!)

“A CELEBRATION OF LIFE” (“A Closer Walk With Thee”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/

Email us! [email protected]

Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod

Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod

Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “A Closer Walk With Thee”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqabB9npF80

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “A Closer Walk With Thee”: A. Celebration. Of. Life.

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

AMPies, if you remember back in Season 2 of The AMPire Diaries, there was a moment (in Episode 22)where co-host Morgan learned many, many bad things about Lea Michele in real-time. In the episode itself, those moments were edited out to keep the flow of the episode. But now, in honor of Morgan's birthday, you can finally listen to those moments as a standalone.

The AMPire Diaries Episode 81: The Vampire Diaries - “Man on Fire”

Someone needs to give Enzo a hug. SOMEONE. ANYONE. Please? This week, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Vampire Diaries’ “Man on Fire” (Season 5, Episode 19). Which means we’re talking:

- Tyler is lookin’ around… NOT asking questions.

- Enzo's not-so-old bitch.

- The ghost of Carol Lockwood.

- Five Dads Down.

- Put Townhouse Bar in your vampire diary.

- DRAZI, BABYY!!!

- Once again, racism on The Vampire Diaries.

- DOES Ian have beautiful eyes?

- You just can’t flop Enzo.

- Wrestling weddings.

- Once again, Damon and Caroline’s past.

- Also… Bonnie and Tyler’s past?

- This becomes a political podcast.

“FLASHBACKS TO THE 1960s” (“Man on Fire”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/

Email us! [email protected]

Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod

Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod

Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “Man on Fire”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOpCPKZmu3k

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Man on Fire”: Enzo’s tragic love story :(((

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

The AMPire Diaries Episode 80: The Originals - “An Unblinking Death”

Hey AMPies, you’ve heard of a Shock Jock but a Shock DOC? It’s a whole thing! So this week, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Originals’ “An Unblinking Death” (Season 1, Episode 19). Which means we’re talking:

- Father Kieran, sexy even in death.

- R.I.P. Eve, who WASN’T a ghost and didn’t activate shit.

- We’re revoking Cami’s non-existent medical license.

- Our undying love for Genevieve.

- Klaus being the voice of reason, for once.

- Conversations that probably should have happened A WHILE ago.

- Oliver’s Gale-ass bomb plan.

- Bastianna X’ing Father Kieran.

“THE BREAKING POINT” (“An Unblinking Death”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/

Email us! [email protected]

Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod

Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod

Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “An Unblinking Death”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltAscmlTFfA

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “An Unblinking Death”: Kieran’s dying and the bayou is bombed

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

The AMPire Diaries Episode 79: The Vampire Diaries - "Resident Evil"

AMPies—to quote Elena Gilbert, HE’S HERE! For real this time. And Markos is… scary? (“Scary.”) This week, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Vampire Diaries’ “Resident Evil” (Season 5, Episode 18). Which means we’re talking:

- How many times do we have to watch Matt lose his sister?

- PRANKS.

- Paul’s directorial debut! #DirectorPaul

- The treatment of Bonnie Bennett and other Black characters in the TVD-verse.

- “The mates from Denver deserve their due.”

- Liz Forbes + Diego OTP.

- Morgan and Jill’s love for ARTPOP.

- The mayor of Mystic Falls.

- Markos, who is canonically Nadia’s dad.

- Michael Malarkey’s IMDb.

- Guess Who Jere (and Damo) Are Bringing To Dinner.

“PAUL WESLEY MAKES HIS DIRECTORIAL DEBUT” (“Resident Evil”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/

Email us! [email protected]

Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod

Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod

Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “Resident Evil”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iL0ssm5kz8

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Resident Evil”: Elena and Stefan’s Sexxx Dreams

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.

The AMPire Diaries Episode 78: The Originals - “The Big Uneasy”

Alright, AMPies, we are back on our Originals grind, and we are… confused. Oh man are we confused. Why? Well, listen and find out. Because this week, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is discussing The Originals’ “The Big Uneasy” (Season 1, Episode 18). Which means we’re talking:

- Unfortunately, not The Big Easy (only on USA Network).

- The staircase, not to be confused with HBO Max’s The Staircase.

- When the TVD-verse goes a thousand miles a minute... and not in the good way.

- Mama G. Mama Gen. MOMMY.

- Abigail, is it?

- Is Francesca is still horny?

- How you say, “lycee.”

- AMPIE POLL: Should LaToya's next evidence board be about the fact that Klaus Mikaelson fucks?

- Is THIS the week Jenny Owen Youngs debuts the “Cami's One Good Point” jingle?

“THE FEAST OF THE BLESSINGS” (“The Big Uneasy”)

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

Become a patron! https://www.patreon.com/ampdiariespod/

Email us! [email protected]

Tweet at us! @AMPDiariesPod

Instagram... at us! @AMPireDiariesPod

Go to our website! http://theampirediariespod.com/

The Official CW Promo for “The Big Uneasy”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myt1MRZU_bU

The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “The Big Uneasy”: The Feast of the Blessings, aka Genevieve’s (and the Harvest girls’) party

The AMPire Diaries is now available to stream on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and Amazon Podcasts, as well as wherever you get your podcasts.

Don’t forget to rate (5 STARS, please) and review the podcast. And most importantly, don’t forget to get AMPED.