The Art of Raising Humans

Are kids being overprotected, or are some being given more freedom than they’re ready to handle? You want your child to become confident and capable, but knowing when to step back and when to stay close isn’t always simple.

In Episode 232 of Art of Raising Humans, parent coaches and licensed professional counselors Kyle and Sara Wester explore free range parenting, a topic drawing attention in the news. They discuss what it gets right about independence, play, and responsibility, where it raises concerns, and what parents can learn from the conversation.

Through honest stories from their own parenting, Kyle and Sara consider how to give children meaningful opportunities to grow while staying involved and connected. They also examine how fear, exhaustion, and avoiding another argument can influence when we say yes or no.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What free range parenting means and why parents interpret it differently
• How manageable challenges help kids build confidence and practice problem solving, judgment, and responsibility
• Why readiness for independence involves more than age or doing something successfully once
• How to tell when a child needs more preparation, supervision, or support before taking the next step
• How to recognize when anxiety, exhaustion, or avoiding conflict is influencing your decisions
• Four practical steps for considering your child’s next opportunity for independence
• Ways to offer children and teens more freedom while maintaining clear limits and connection

Free range parenting raises worthwhile questions about what children need to grow. This conversation explores both its strengths and its limitations, helping you consider the freedom, support, and protection your child needs without asking you to adopt a parenting label.

A question to take with you:

What is the next responsible freedom my child is ready to practice, and what support would help it go well?

Have thoughts about free range parenting? We’d love to hear from you. Email Kyle at [email protected].

For free parenting resources and information about Parent Coaching, visit artofraisinghumans.com.

View the full podcast transcript at: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/free-range-parenting-what-it-gets-right-what-it-misses-and-what-kids-actually-need

Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.

Resource Website: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com

Video Courses: 

https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/

Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans

Instagram: 

https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans

Podcast Website: 

https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com

Book List:

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist

The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

Most parents know the question is coming: “Can I go to my friend’s house?” “Can I stay out later?” “Can I get a phone?” And sometimes, before we have even thought it through, the answer comes out: no.

Of course, kids need parents who protect them, guide them, and hold healthy boundaries. But saying no does not have to mean shutting every door. In this episode, Kyle and Sara introduce a simple shift: looking for a real “yes, and…”

“Yes, you can, and here is what needs to be true for that to work.”

This is not about giving in, saying yes to everything, or turning every request into a negotiation. It is about helping your child grow in freedom, responsibility, and good decision-making while you remain a calm, confident leader.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why an automatic “no” can create more power struggles and distance
• How to help kids feel heard without becoming permissive
• What a real “yes, and” can sound like with phones, friends, activities, money, and independence
• How to know when the answer should be “not yet” or a clear no
• Common mistakes that make boundaries feel confusing or unfair

Your child does not need unlimited freedom. They need a parent who can help them grow into it, one wise decision at a time.

If you and your partner often land on opposite sides of these decisions, download our free Parenting Together Workbook to help you get on the same page: https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/together.

View the full podcast transcript at: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/how-to-say-no-without-a-power-struggle-the-yes-and-approach

Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.

Resource Website: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com

Video Courses: 

https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/

Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans

Instagram: 

https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans

Podcast Website: 

https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com

Book List:

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist

The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

Your child can know what to do—and still be unable to do it in a hard moment. When they struggle with something they managed yesterday, it is easy to assume they are being lazy, disrespectful, or simply choosing not to try. But what if there is more going on underneath the behavior?

In this episode, Kyle and Sara explore why a child who seemed capable yesterday may struggle today—and how parents can respond with curiosity, calm limits, and support instead of labels and shame.

This does not mean lowering expectations or letting behavior slide. Understanding what is underneath behavior helps us hold limits with more calm, stay curious instead of judgmental, and help our kids build the skills they still need.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why “lazy,” “defiant,” and “disrespectful” labels miss the full story
• Why stress, hunger, exhaustion, and overwhelm can limit access to skills
• How to notice “can’t yet” beneath what looks like “won’t”
• How to hold limits without excusing behavior
• How to help your child grow instead of judging them against a finished brain

Follow Art of Raising Humans for practical, relationship-first parenting tools each week. For personal support, visit www.artofraisinghumans.com.

View the full podcast transcript at: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/your-child-isnt-finished-yet-why-knowing-better-isnt-enough

Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.

Resource Website: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com

Video Courses: 

https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/

Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans

Instagram: 

https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans

Podcast Website: 

https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com

Book List:

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist

The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

You love the same kids. You probably even want many of the same things for them. So why can you and your spouse look at the exact same parenting moment and see it completely differently?

In this episode of The Art of Raising Humans, Kyle and Sara share more of their own parenting story—including the beliefs they brought into parenting, the conflicts they didn’t expect, and the very different approaches they initially had to sleep, big emotions, discipline, connection, and their roles as parents.

They talk openly about how childhood experiences, personality, fear, expectations, and even professional training can shape the way we respond to our kids—and why getting on the same page doesn’t mean becoming the same parent.

You’ll hear how they moved from judging each other’s approach to building a shared vision for their family, while still making room for their individual strengths.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why different parenting styles can create so much tension between couples
• How your own childhood can quietly influence the way you parent
• Why shared long-term goals matter more than handling every situation identically
• How to start moving toward a more connected, collaborative approach to parenting together

If parenting disagreements are creating tension in your marriage or leaving you wondering how you’ll ever get on the same page, this conversation will give you hope—and a different way to think about becoming a team.

Want help putting this into practice?

Download our free Parenting Together Workbook, created to help you and your spouse or co-parent talk through your different perspectives, uncover what’s shaping the way each of you parents, and begin building a more intentional, shared approach to raising your kids.

👉 Download the Parenting Together Workbook here: www.artofraisinghumans.com/parent-together-workbook

View the full podcast transcript at: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/when-you-and-your-spouse-parent-differently-how-to-get-on-the-same-team

Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.

Resource Website: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com

Video Courses: 

https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/

Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans

Instagram: 

https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans

Podcast Website: 

https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com

Book List:

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist

The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

Curiosity is one of the most beautiful parts of childhood. It drives kids to ask questions, explore new ideas, take healthy risks, and discover who they are.

But as kids get older, curiosity can also become scary for parents.

What happens when curiosity leads your child toward pornography, vaping, alcohol, sex, risky online content, dangerous challenges, or choices they may not be ready to handle?

In this episode of The Art of Raising Humans, Kyle and Sara explore how parents can protect their kids without teaching them to fear curiosity or hide their questions. They explain why curiosity is a normal part of child and adolescent development, why teens are especially drawn to novelty and new experiences, and how parents can become the safe person their child turns to when curiosity takes them somewhere unfamiliar.

You’ll learn:

• Why curiosity changes as children move from childhood into the tween and teen years
• How to consider curiosity, risk, access, and readiness before deciding how much freedom to give
• The SAFE framework for responding when your child brings you an uncomfortable or concerning question
• How to create boundaries around screens, pornography, substances, relationships, risky behavior, and other areas of exploration without shutting down communication

Kyle and Sara also share practical ways to guide curiosity differently with younger children, tweens, and teenagers, and how to prepare kids for moments when curiosity, peer pressure, and impulsiveness collide.

The goal isn’t to raise kids who never take risks or ask hard questions. It’s to raise kids who stay full of wonder while gradually learning how to pause, assess risk, seek help, and make choices that protect their future.

View the full podcast transcript at: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/the-wonder-and-danger-of-curiosity-how-to-help-kids-explore-safely

Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.

Resource Website: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com

Video Courses: 

https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/

Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans

Instagram: 

https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans

Podcast Website: 

https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com

Book List:

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist

The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

Do you ever feel like you are managing every detail of your child’s life—schoolwork, activities, friendships, schedules, and responsibilities—yet worry they may not be learning how to handle life without you? Or maybe you try to give your child more freedom, only to watch them become overwhelmed, make a choice they regret, or expect you to rescue them afterward.

In this episode of The Art of Raising Humans, Kyle and Sara Wester talk about the difference between giving children small choices and helping them practice the meaningful decision-making skills they will need for adulthood. From choosing classes, activities, and friendships to managing time, money, and growing responsibilities, children and teens need opportunities to make real choices while parents are still nearby to guide them.

You’ll learn how to give your child an appropriate voice without putting adult-sized pressure on them; how to know when to step in and when to step back; and how to help them recover when a decision does not work out. This episode is for parents who want to raise confident, capable kids—not kids who need a parent to manage every next step.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why too much control—or too much freedom—can leave kids anxious and unprepared for adulthood.
• How meaningful choices build confidence, responsibility, resilience, and executive-function skills.
• Age-appropriate choices for elementary-aged children, tweens, and teens.
• How to coach your child through decisions and mistakes without rescuing, shaming, or taking over.

View the full podcast transcript at: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/are-you-giving-your-child-real-choices-how-to-build-confidence-without-giving-up-leadership-ep-227

Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.

Resource Website: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com

Video Courses: 

https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/

Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans

Instagram: 

https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans

Podcast Website: 

https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com

Book List:

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist

The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

Does your teen have no clear plan for college, work, or life after high school? When they say, “I don’t know,” it can bring up a lot of fear for parents. Are they behind? Unmotivated? Will they be able to support themselves and find a meaningful path?

In this episode, Kyle and Sara Wester explain why pressure often makes teens shut down and how parents can guide their teen forward without taking over or backing away completely. Your teen does not need to have their whole future figured out right now. They need opportunities to learn about themselves, build real confidence, and practice making thoughtful next-step decisions.

You’ll learn:

• Why uncertainty is not the same as laziness or a lack of potential
• How your own fear can accidentally make future conversations feel overwhelming
• Curious questions that help teens discover strengths, interests, and what drains them
• Practical ways to build ownership through experiences, responsibility, and small decisions

Whether your teen is anxious about the future or seems completely unbothered by it, this conversation will help you replace pressure with calm, connected leadership and help them grow into an adult who can navigate whatever comes next.

View the full podcast transcript at: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/when-your-teen-has-no-idea-what-to-do-with-their-life

Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.

Resource Website: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com

Video Courses: 

https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/

Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans

Instagram: 

https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans

Podcast Website: 

https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com

Book List:

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist

The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

Why can the child who is most like you also be the one who pushes your buttons the fastest?

Maybe their anxiety, sensitivity, stubbornness, big emotions, or need for control feels painfully familiar. Without realizing it, parents can begin reacting to their own past instead of responding to the child in front of them.

In this episode of The Art of Raising Humans, Kyle and Sara explore why familiar traits can feel so triggering and how parents can interrupt old patterns without blaming themselves or trying to fix their child. They share a brain based, relationship first way to grow in awareness, regulate in the hard moments, and give your child the safety and guidance you may have needed too.

In this conversation, you’ll learn:

• Why your child’s behavior can activate old fears, memories, and pressure
• How to notice when you are parenting from a trigger instead of the present moment
• Why understanding yourself helps you respond to your child with more calm and connection
• How to break unhealthy family patterns while still setting clear, confident limits

Your child does not need a perfect parent. They need a parent willing to pause, get curious, and choose a new path.

View the full podcast transcript at: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/when-your-child-is-just-like-you-how-to-stop-repeating-old-patterns

Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.

Resource Website: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com

Video Courses: 

https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/

Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans

Instagram: 

https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans

Podcast Website: 

https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com

Book List:

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist

The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

Have you ever worried that you missed your chance to build a secure attachment with your child? Or wondered why your child shuts down, becomes clingy, or struggles to bring their emotions to you?

In this episode, Kyle and Sara talk with licensed professional counselor and attachment expert Eli Harwood, also known as The Attachment Nerd, about what secure attachment really looks like and how parents can strengthen it at any age.

Eli explains why attachment is not about perfect parenting or avoiding conflict. It is about becoming a safe, steady person your child can turn to when life feels hard—and a secure base from which they can confidently explore the world.

In this conversation, you’ll discover:

• What the four attachment patterns can reveal about a child’s behavior
• Why responding to emotions does not make children weak or overly dependent
• How one secure relationship can make a lasting difference in a child’s life
• How parents can work through their own emotional baggage and create a different legacy for their children

This hopeful conversation will help you see everyday emotions, conflicts, and repairs as opportunities to build the kind of relationship your child can carry into adulthood.

Eli Harwood, LPC, is a licensed professional counselor, USA TODAY bestselling author, mother of three, and creator of Attachment Nerd. She has more than 19 years of clinical experience helping individuals and families understand attachment and build healthier patterns of connection. Her books include Raising Securely Attached Kids, Securely Attached, and How to Deal with Your ____ So Your Kids Don’t Have To.

Connect with Eli:

Website: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/

Books: https://www.attachmentnerd.com/books

How to Deal Podcast: https://podcast.attachmentnerd.com/

View the full podcast transcript at: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/how-to-build-a-secure-attachment-with-your-child-at-any-age-with-eli-harwood

Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.

Resource Website: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com

Video Courses: 

https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/

Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans

Instagram: 

https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans

Podcast Website: 

https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com

Book List:

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist

The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.

Few things frustrate parents more than trying to have an important conversation with a child or teen and hearing, “I don’t care” or “I don’t know.”

It can feel dismissive, disrespectful, avoidant, or even scary. Parents may start wondering: Do they really not care? Are they lying? Are they avoiding responsibility? Am I losing influence?

In this episode of The Art of Raising Humans, Kyle and Sara talk about what may actually be happening underneath these common responses. They explain why “I don’t care” can be a form of armor, why “I don’t know” can be a shutdown response, and why pushing harder often makes kids more defensive instead of more honest.

You’ll learn how to stay calm, lower the pressure without lowering the boundary, and help your child move from defensiveness into reflection, responsibility, and repair. Kyle and Sara also share practical ways to respond to kids ages 8–18, including what younger kids, tweens, and teens may need when they seem shut down or checked out.

This episode is especially helpful for parents who want to reduce power struggles, build emotional intelligence, strengthen connection, and guide their child with calm leadership instead of fear.

When your child says, “I don’t care” or “I don’t know,” try not to chase the words. Look underneath. Behind both phrases is often a child who feels overwhelmed, ashamed, confused, or unsure how to move forward.

Listen to this episode to learn how to respond with connection, clarity, and confidence.

View the full podcast transcript at: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/when-your-child-says-i-dont-care-or-i-dont-know

Visit our website and social media channels for more valuable content for your parenting journey.

Resource Website: 

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com

Video Courses: 

https://art-of-raising-humans.newzenler.com/

Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/artofraisinghumans

Instagram: 

https://www.instagram.com/artofraisinghumans

Podcast Website: 

https://www.theartofraisinghumans.com

Book List:

https://www.artofraisinghumans.com/booklist

The Art of Raising Humans podcast should not be considered or used as counseling but for educational purposes only.