Purity culture. High control religion. Autistic masking. In this episode, Brett (The AuDHD Boss) gets vulnerable about growing up in a fundamentalist evangelical environment—and how rigid rules and shame can stay in your body long after you’ve “left.”

Brett is late-diagnosed Autistic + ADHD, and in this conversation with author and educator Erica Smith, they explore why purity culture can feel especially “sticky” when you’re used to rule-following, people-pleasing, and masking for safety. Erica is the author of The Purity Culture Recovery Guide: The Shame-Free Sex Education You Deserve and founder of the Purity Culture Dropout Program—inclusive, trauma-informed education many of us never received.

In this episode we talk about:

• What purity culture is (and how it became a movement)

• How shame and fear shape relationships and identity

• Why rigid rules can feel “safe”—and how to replace them with your values

• What “deconstruction” means and how it can support healing

• “Is it too late?” (No. Ever.)

• Late coming-out, “second adolescence,” and reclaiming your timeline

• How to talk to partners about your background without apologizing for it

Links & resources:
Erica Smith’s book (affiliate): https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9798881801304
Purity Culture Dropout Program: https://www.ericasmitheac.com/the-purity-culture-dropout-program
More from AuDHD Boss: AuDHDboss.com

(For education and lived experience—not medical advice.)

00:00 Purity culture, high control religion & autistic masking
00:56 Leaving the church, carrying shame + rigid rules
01:47 Meet Erica Smith + The Purity Culture Recovery Guide
02:47 What purity culture is (broad + specific)
04:15 Why it took hold in the 90s (True Love Waits)
05:46 Reading recovery work when it feels activating
07:42 Skip to the chapters you need (how Erica designed the book)
10:10 Myths and misinformation purity culture taught
12:59 Long-term impacts: fear, paralysis, pain, disconnection
14:53 Autistic masking + rigid rule-following overlap
16:04 Replacing rules with your values
18:02 What “deconstruction” means
18:47 “Is it too late?”
21:27 Late coming-out + “second adolescence”
24:49 Why “waiting for marriage” still has a hold
28:02 Talking to partners without apologizing
30:18 Final thoughts + where to find Erica

What was that moment you thought, “Oh… I think I have ADHD”?

In this episode, I’m joined by Cate Osborn (Catieosaurus) and Erik Gude (Hey Gude)—the authors of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults—for a practical, honest conversation about what it actually looks like to live with ADHD as an adult.

We talk about why so much “helpful” advice doesn’t work for ADHD brains, how to build systems you can restart without shame, and what support can look like when you’re late-diagnosed (including when ADHD overlaps with autism/AuDHD).

And yes—we also go into the adult stuff: relationships, intimacy, sex, communication, and the parts of ADHD life people don’t always say out loud.

In this episode, we cover:

• How Cate and Erik approached writing a book as two people with ADHD

• Executive dysfunction, motivation, and why “simple” solutions often fail

• ADHD-friendly systems, accommodations, and sustainable routines

• ADHD and relationships: intimacy, communication, and repair

• Self-compassion and personal responsibility—holding both at once

 The ADHD Field Guide for Adults

If you enjoyed this episode, please follow/subscribe and leave a review—it helps more neurodivergent adults find the show.

Self-esteem has been a complicated one for me as an AuDHD adult (autism + ADHD). I can be confident and capable in certain areas—and then hit a wall in others and immediately start wondering, “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I do the thing?”

In this episode, I’m sharing what I’ve learned about how AuDHD can impact self-esteem for me—especially on the other side of diagnosis—along with what I try when I feel a spiral coming on. I talk about internalized ableism and masking, imposter syndrome at work, what it looks like when my body knows I’m overwhelmed before I do (alexithymia), and how I anchor back to what I know is true.

This isn’t a “you should” episode. It’s me being honest about what it feels like in my brain—and what I’m experimenting with to build self-trust.

Resources mentioned

• Neurodivergent Insights glossary (alexithymia): https://neurodivergentinsights.com/neurodivergent-insights-glossary/

• Self-Care Activities for Autistic People card deck (Dr. Megan Anna Neff): https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9781507225066

Show notes bullets (for apps that surface these):

• AuDHD and why it can feel “not quite ADHD, not quite autism”

• Strengths vs. struggles and the imposter syndrome gap

• “A different way in” — reframing walls without self-blame

• Support without shame (reducing steps, ordering takeout when needed)

• Alexithymia + body cues + spiraling thoughts

• Anchoring to what I know is true + a 20–22 minute reset

• Practicing pride: “take the win”

For the first time in my life, I’m starting a job as my full AuDHD self—fully diagnosed, fully open, and not trying to pretend I’m neurotypical. And it made me ask a question I think every AuDHD person deserves to ask:

What kind of employee do you want to be when masking isn’t the price of admission?

In this episode, I reflect on masking in new roles, what changed after my late autism + ADHD diagnosis, and how I’m learning to build a job around my needs instead of retrofitting myself into “corporate rules.”

We talk about AuDHD needs at work (novelty, collaboration, structure, recovery), the push/pull of ADHD chaos and autism routines, meetings I miss vs meetings I don’t—and the grief of losing built-in workplace community.

Question for you: What’s one accommodation, routine, or boundary that helps you thrive at work?

Substack: https://brettwhitmarsh.substack.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AuDHDBoss
Website: AuDHDBoss.com

Ever googled “best jobs for ADHD” or “best jobs for autism” — especially after a late diagnosis — and hoped someone would finally hand you the answer?

In this episode, I’m going to give you the real answer: there isn’t one perfect job title for AuDHD (ADHD + autism). What actually matters is job fit — the match between your interests, your work environment needs, and the communication style you’ll have with your manager and team.

You’ll learn:

• How to use “the spark” of a special interest to find realistic career entry points

• What environment factors to consider so you can thrive (not just survive)

• Why manager communication and check-ins can make or break a role

• Interview questions that help you spot green flags and red flags

• How to answer: “What do you need to be successful in this role?” without disclosing

Links

• Website: https://audhdboss.com

• Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtu.be/R_Lx6TFvZ2A

Question for you: Which part of job fit is hardest right now—interests, environment, or manager communication?

Finding a neurodivergent-affirming provider shouldn’t feel impossible — but for many autistic and ADHD adults, the healthcare system can be invalidating, confusing, or even overwhelming. In this episode, I’m sharing five questions that will help you determine whether a doctor, therapist, or assessor is truly affirming, respectful, and informed.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• What “neurodivergent-affirming care” actually means

• How to screen a provider during an intake call

• Green flags and red flags to listen for

• How to avoid being pathologized or dismissed

• Why these questions reveal so much about a provider’s mindset

You deserve care that sees you, respects you, and works with your neurotype — not against it.

Follow me on Substack, YouTube, and everywhere @AuDHDBoss for more support and strategies for autistic and ADHD adults.

Annual review season can feel overwhelming — especially if you’re ADHD, autistic, or otherwise neurodivergent. Memory gaps, freeze responses, stalled processing, panic, and the pressure to recall a whole year of work can make self-evaluations feel impossible.

In this episode, I walk you through a neurodivergent-friendly, step-by-step process for writing your annual self-review — even if you didn’t track anything all year. This is the exact method I used during my 12+ years in leadership, and it’s the same process I taught my teams to help reduce overwhelm, increase clarity, and build confidence during annual review season.

ou’ll learn how to do a brain dump that supports ND memory, how to use your calendar and colleagues to fill gaps, how to align your accomplishments with company OKRs and KPIs, and how to advocate for a raise, promotion, or new responsibilities using real evidence — all without masking or losing your authentic voice.

Whether you’re aiming for growth, stability, or simply want to get through this process without melting down, this episode will help you approach your review with clarity and self-trust.

• Why annual reviews trigger freeze mode for ND brains

• How to start your self-review (even from zero)

• Using your calendar to rebuild the year

• Getting memory support from trusted colleagues

• How to align your accomplishments to goals you forgot you set

• How OKRs and KPIs actually matter in your review

• Using AI tools without losing your authentic voice

• How to make the case for raises, promotions, or new titles

• What managers look for and how to prepare effectively

• How to set realistic expectations to avoid RSD spirals

• Why ongoing alignment with your manager is the secret to long-term growth

 https://www.audhdboss.com or https://substack.com/home/post/p-180356961

Career coach Alex Lahmeyer joins Brett Whitmarsh (The AuDHD Boss) to talk about finding a workplace where you can truly belong as a queer and neurodivergent professional — from navigating interviews to building inclusive Employee Resource Groups and sustaining psychological safety at work.

In this episode of The AuDHD Boss, Brett sits down with career coach and talent consultant Alex Lahmeyer (they/them) to explore how LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent professionals can find workplaces that honor who they are — not just what they do.

You’ll learn:

• How to spot psychological safety during an interview

• Smart questions to ask about inclusion and company culture

• How to start and sustain Employee Resource Groups (ERGs)

• Why networking is really about community-building for neurodivergent brains

🔗 Connect with Alex: https://linktr.ee/boundlessarc
🔗 Follow Brett ( @AuDHDBoss ): audhdboss.com

🎧 Subscribe for more episodes on neurodiversity, leadership, and belonging in the corporate workplace.

After being laid off, I learned that you can’t skip the grieving process — especially when your work was tied to your identity.

In this episode, I share what it’s been like to process grief, burnout, and identity loss as an autistic and ADHD (AuDHD) leader after job loss. From losing community and structure to rediscovering creativity and unmasking, this is an honest look at what recovery really feels like.

🔹 Why layoffs hit differently for neurodivergent professionals
🔹 How burnout recovery overlaps with grief and self-worth
🔹 What happens when leadership identity disappears overnight
🔹 Finding rest, creativity, and new purpose after burnout

🎧 This episode pairs with a YouTube video and a written reflection on Substack — complete with a bonus “beach story” that didn’t go as planned!

➕ Watch on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@audhdboss
📝 Read the companion essay + bonus video: https://brettwhitmarsh.substack.com

I recently lost my job leaving me staring at a blank resume wondering “where do I even start?” — especially with an ADHD brain.

So I turned to career coach Liora Natania, founder of Colorful Futures, a neurodivergent queer-run HR and career consulting business. They bring a more holistic approach this job search process.

Liora has a background in recruitment and their company is dedicated to helping neurodivergent and queer professionals navigate job searching, career growth, and self-employment—without burnout, masking, or corporate BS. Specifically, Liora specializes in resume and LinkedIn optimization, interview prep, and job search strategy.

And that’s where we focus our conversation today. We talk about how to manage panic applying that chases dopamine, executive function walls we hit, and how to navigate AI with our resumes. I got so much out of this conversation with Liora and I am so excited to share it with you.

We explore:
✅ Why ADHD brains jump into urgency and panic applications
✅ Career discovery as the first step — not job boards
✅ Whether AI actually screens out resumes (and how to write for both AI and humans)
✅ Simple, ADHD-friendly resume strategies
✅ Networking without forcing small talk
✅ Building a job search routine that doesn’t destroy your nervous system

If you're navigating ADHD, burnout, job loss, or career confusion, this episode will help you restart with intention, clarity, and self-trust.

🎙️ Guest: Liora Natania, Career Coach | Colorful Futures
📍 Follow Liora: @colorfulfutures

👋 I’m Brett, The AuDHD Boss — helping neurodivergent professionals thrive at work without masking or burning out.
🔗 Coaching & newsletter: https://substack.com/@brettwhitmarsh