Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

The Awkwardness of Making Friends When You Can’t Rely on Proximity


Listen Later

A few months ago, I made a professional connection, and the energy felt good. 

As we neared the end of our working relationship, I realized I didn’t want this connection to end – but there was no logical way for us to get together. We weren’t in the same industry. I didn’t know if we had overlapping hobbies.

The whole situation got me thinking about this weird gray zone we sometimes find ourselves in when we can’t rely on proximity to make friends. It can be awkward … almost like dating! But unlike dating, friendship expectations can be unclear. Will this be a close friend? Or an acquaintance? What do you actually want to come out of this connection?

There will probably always be uncomfortable moments in new friendships. But I believe that if we talk about it, then hopefully we can accept that this is a normal part of the process and keep pushing forward.


In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • The gray zone of making new friends and the importance of proximity and consistency
  • Vulnerabilities in starting new friendships, including admitting we want to hang out with this person again
  • The tendency to overthink messages and interactions, and how sometimes making new friends is like starting a new exercise routine
  • Pushing through the discomfort of “friend dating” and navigating things like health restrictions in social settings


Resources & Links:

Check out the roots framework as featured in Episode 12.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9

4.9

55 ratings


More shows like Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

View all
The One You Feed by Eric Zimmer

The One You Feed

2,509 Listeners

Happier with Gretchen Rubin by Gretchen Rubin / The Onward Project

Happier with Gretchen Rubin

12,904 Listeners

10% Happier with Dan Harris by 10% Happier

10% Happier with Dan Harris

12,636 Listeners

Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast by Clutterbug

Clutterbug - Real-Life Hacks and Tips to Declutter, Organize and Clean your Home Fast

2,009 Listeners

The Lazy Genius Podcast by Kendra, The Lazy Genius

The Lazy Genius Podcast

6,515 Listeners

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel by Esther Perel Global Media

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

14,921 Listeners

Oprah's Super Soul by Oprah

Oprah's Super Soul

31,920 Listeners

Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee by Dr Rangan Chatterjee: GP & Author

Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee

3,753 Listeners

On Purpose with Jay Shetty by iHeartPodcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

26,960 Listeners

Let's Get Dressed by Liv Perez

Let's Get Dressed

279 Listeners

Friend Forward by Danielle Bayard Jackson -- Female Friendship Expert

Friend Forward

265 Listeners

IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson by Higher Ground

IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson

12,953 Listeners

We Can Do Hard Things by Glennon Doyle and Audacy

We Can Do Hard Things

41,407 Listeners

The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

The Mel Robbins Podcast

19,406 Listeners

Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari by Dear Media

Let's Be Honest with Kristin Cavallari

3,418 Listeners