Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

The Awkwardness of Making Friends When You Can’t Rely on Proximity


Listen Later

A few months ago, I made a professional connection, and the energy felt good. 

As we neared the end of our working relationship, I realized I didn’t want this connection to end – but there was no logical way for us to get together. We weren’t in the same industry. I didn’t know if we had overlapping hobbies.

The whole situation got me thinking about this weird gray zone we sometimes find ourselves in when we can’t rely on proximity to make friends. It can be awkward … almost like dating! But unlike dating, friendship expectations can be unclear. Will this be a close friend? Or an acquaintance? What do you actually want to come out of this connection?

There will probably always be uncomfortable moments in new friendships. But I believe that if we talk about it, then hopefully we can accept that this is a normal part of the process and keep pushing forward.


In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • The gray zone of making new friends and the importance of proximity and consistency
  • Vulnerabilities in starting new friendships, including admitting we want to hang out with this person again
  • The tendency to overthink messages and interactions, and how sometimes making new friends is like starting a new exercise routine
  • Pushing through the discomfort of “friend dating” and navigating things like health restrictions in social settings


Resources & Links:

Check out the roots framework as featured in Episode 12.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9

4.9

56 ratings


More shows like Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

View all
Hidden Brain by Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam

Hidden Brain

43,557 Listeners

The Moth by The Moth

The Moth

27,246 Listeners

The One You Feed by Eric Zimmer

The One You Feed

2,554 Listeners

Life Coaching with Christine Hassler by Christine Hassler

Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

1,635 Listeners

Death, Sex & Money by Slate Podcasts

Death, Sex & Money

7,732 Listeners

The Daily by The New York Times

The Daily

112,433 Listeners

Up First from NPR by NPR

Up First from NPR

56,382 Listeners

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel by Esther Perel Global Media

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

14,944 Listeners

The Liz Moody Podcast by Liz Moody

The Liz Moody Podcast

3,122 Listeners

Life Kit by NPR

Life Kit

4,363 Listeners

Friend Forward by Danielle Bayard Jackson -- Female Friendship Expert

Friend Forward

272 Listeners

How to Be a Better Human by TED

How to Be a Better Human

1,380 Listeners

We Can Do Hard Things by Treat Media and Glennon Doyle

We Can Do Hard Things

41,466 Listeners

The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

The Mel Robbins Podcast

20,385 Listeners

A Really Good Cry by iHeartPodcasts

A Really Good Cry

279 Listeners