Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

The Awkwardness of Making Friends When You Can’t Rely on Proximity


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A few months ago, I made a professional connection, and the energy felt good. 

As we neared the end of our working relationship, I realized I didn’t want this connection to end – but there was no logical way for us to get together. We weren’t in the same industry. I didn’t know if we had overlapping hobbies.

The whole situation got me thinking about this weird gray zone we sometimes find ourselves in when we can’t rely on proximity to make friends. It can be awkward … almost like dating! But unlike dating, friendship expectations can be unclear. Will this be a close friend? Or an acquaintance? What do you actually want to come out of this connection?

There will probably always be uncomfortable moments in new friendships. But I believe that if we talk about it, then hopefully we can accept that this is a normal part of the process and keep pushing forward.


In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • The gray zone of making new friends and the importance of proximity and consistency
  • Vulnerabilities in starting new friendships, including admitting we want to hang out with this person again
  • The tendency to overthink messages and interactions, and how sometimes making new friends is like starting a new exercise routine
  • Pushing through the discomfort of “friend dating” and navigating things like health restrictions in social settings


Resources & Links:

Check out the roots framework as featured in Episode 12.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

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Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

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