The Big Lad Podcast

Who is Michael Smoak, the man behind HigherUpWellness? In this episode of The Big Lad Podcast, I sit down with Michael for an honest conversation about life, personal growth, masculinity, relationships, grief and what it really means to become a better version of yourself.

Michael has built an audience around self-improvement, wellness and challenging the way people think. But rather than simply rehashing the advice he's shared elsewhere, we explore the person behind the public image, question some of the ideas we take for granted, and get into the uncomfortable realities of trying to live a better life.

We discuss why self-improvement can sometimes become another way of telling yourself you're not good enough, whether suffering really makes us stronger, and the difference between taking responsibility for your life and ignoring the circumstances that shape it.

We also explore the impact of losing a parent, how grief changes your perspective, what masculinity and emotional vulnerability really mean, and whether we're genuinely trying to improve ourselves or simply trying to prove something to the world.

This is a conversation about questioning your beliefs, confronting your insecurities, understanding yourself and working out what actually matters.

If you're interested in personal development, mental health, philosophy, masculinity, emotional resilience or simply having more honest conversations about life, this episode is for you.

📲 Join the Big Lad Mailing List for exclusive content & early access: https://mailchi.mp/799f9d66ee7f/the-big-lad-podcast

My Instagram - https://instagram.com/gw_fit

The Big Lad Podcast - https://instagram.com/thebigladpodcast

Substack - https://substack.com/@thebigladpodcast

Neutonic - GEORGE10Chapters

00:00 Introduction: Who is Michael Smoak?

03:56 Cultural Differences: UK vs. US Attitudes

07:17 Fear of Failure and Its Connotations

11:22 Misunderstandings About Michael’s Tone and Intent

14:36 Dealing with Online Hate and Criticism

20:22 The Reality of Public Opinion and Detachment

25:24 Living with Purpose Amidst Loss

30:04 The Final Message: Empty the Tank

34:56 Self-Improvement vs. Self-Actualisation

40:21 Embracing Greater Challenges for Growth

41:09 The Never-Ending Pursuit of Service and Love

42:07 The Love of Walking and Loving the Process

43:02 The Never-Ending Search for Enough

44:01 The Illusion of Achievements Filling the God-Shaped Hole

45:21 Celebrating Achievements Without Losing Joy

47:02 Investing in Growth and Learning from Goals

49:11 The Power of Creating for Its Own Sake

50:34 The Redemptive Power of Art and Authenticity

52:26 The Motivation Behind Creating Content

53:42 Evolving Beliefs About Relationships

55:18 Love, Sacrifice, and Selflessness in Relationships

58:10 Polarity and Authenticity in Love

01:00:15 The Role of Faith and Sacrificial Love

01:02:42 The Fragility of Life and Living Fully

01:04:26 Lessons from Personal Tragedy and Purpose

01:08:03 The Impact of Hardship on Identity

01:12:21 Living Without Regret and Embracing Mortality

01:19:24 Reflecting on Life, Achievements, and Faith

01:21:26 Final Reflections: Living a Life of Service and Purpose

#HigherUpWellness #HigherUpWellnesschallenge #PersonalGrowth #SelfImprovement

Can you actually make a full-time living from writing online, or is the reality far harsher than people admit?

In this episode of The Big Lad Podcast, writer and creator David McIlroy joins us to pull back the curtain on what it really takes to turn words into a sustainable income. We dive into the brutal traps aspiring writers fall into, why chasing vanity metrics and viral views won't pay your bills, and how to build genuine audience trust that translates into a viable creative business.

If you’re a writer, content creator, or freelancer wondering how to turn your craft into a career, this conversation breaks down the practical realities most people avoid talking about.

David's Substack - https://substack.com/@thedavidmcilroy

David's Instagram - https://instagram.com/thedavidmcilroy

David's Masterclass - https://david-mcilroy.kit.com/products/substack-growth-sessions

📲 Join the Big Lad Mailing List for exclusive content & early access: https://mailchi.mp/799f9d66ee7f/the-big-lad-podcast

My Instagram - https://instagram.com/gw_fit

The Big Lad Podcast - https://instagram.com/thebigladpodcast

Substack - https://substack.com/@thebigladpodcast

Neutonic - GEORGE10

Chapters

00:00 Introduction: Why Authenticity Matters in Content

03:08 Storytelling and Humor as Trust Builders

04:36 Managing Content Creation and Avoiding Follower Fatigue

05:07 Using AI Tools Like Whisperflow for Content Repurposing

06:02 The Importance of Consistency and Long-Term Planning

07:28 The Risks of Relying Too Much on AI

08:23 Human Error and Authenticity in Content

09:11 Deliberate Mistakes and Demonstrating Realness

10:21 Inspiration from Childhood and the Love of Writing

12:47 Turning Passion into a Business

14:23 Key Moments of Success and Growth

17:03 Building a Community and Listening to Your Audience

19:22 The Reality of Long-Term Content Creation

23:58 The Value of Consistent Effort and Repetition

26:32 Growing Subscribers and Avoiding Follower Fatigue

30:37 Turning Audience into Business and Monetization

36:20 The Importance of Saying No and Vetting Clients

43:29 The Long-Term Perspective and Patience in Growth

50:26 Content Strategy: Quality Over Quantity

55:29 Upcoming Projects and Future Plans

#Writing #ContentCreation #OnlineBusiness #CreativeCareer #Podcast

We just hit 1,000 subscribers on The Big Lad Podcast! To celebrate, I sat down to answer your most asked questions—covering everything from my 5-year channel roadmap to my core spiritual beliefs, the single best piece of advice I’ve received, and the biggest lesson I’ve learned along the way.

Whether you're looking for actionable life advice, personal mindset insights, or a behind-the-scenes look at the future of the podcast, this episode dives deep into the journey so far.

📲 Join the Big Lad Mailing List for exclusive content & early access: https://mailchi.mp/799f9d66ee7f/the-big-lad-podcast

My Instagram - https://instagram.com/gw_fit

The Big Lad Podcast - https://instagram.com/thebigladpodcast

Substack - https://substack.com/@thebigladpodcast

Neutonic - GEORGE10

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and recent podcast milestones

01:58 The origin story of the Big Lad Hikes

03:54 Growth and challenges of the podcast

06:10 The impact of guest appearances and future guests

07:58 My approach to content authenticity and growth

10:07 Balancing personal life, work, and content creation

12:04 Strategies for YouTube growth and promotion

13:47 Maintaining motivation and discipline

15:58 Podcast editing process and content distribution

18:00 Upcoming episodes and in-person guest plans

18:52 Personal beliefs and lessons learned

21:54 Handling multiple relationships and communication

24:07 Goals, control, and future plans

26:10 Hiking adventures abroad and lessons from Scotland

27:05 Hosting tips and interview insights

27:55 Advice for aspiring content creators

29:01 The importance of change and taking action

29:57 Personal obsessions and winding down routines

32:10 Childhood passions and outdoor activities

33:52 Closing remarks and future outlook

#ContentCreator #PodcastTips #SelfImprovement

Why aren't you where you want to be?

Maybe it's your job.

Maybe it's your partner.

Maybe it's your parents.

Maybe it's the economy.

Maybe you don't have enough time.

Maybe you weren't given the same opportunities as everyone else.

And maybe some of those things are genuinely true.

But at what point do you stop explaining why your life isn't where you want it to be and start asking what you're actually going to do about it?

In Episode 135 of The Big Lad Podcast, I'm talking about accountability, personal responsibility, excuses and the modern tendency to blame external circumstances for the things we're unhappy with in our lives.

This isn't about pretending everything that happens to you is your fault.

It's about recognising that you don't have to be responsible for creating a problem to be responsible for what you do next.

We get into:

- Why people blame external factors for their failures

- The psychology of the self-serving bias

- Internal vs external locus of control

- Why making excuses can feel better than taking responsibility

- Jocko Willink and the idea of Extreme Ownership

- Stoicism and focusing on what you can control

- The difference between being a victim and living with a victim mentality

- Why a legitimate excuse can still hold you back

- How accountability can actually give you your power back

- The uncomfortable questions you need to ask yourself

The most important question isn't:

“Whose fault is this?”

It's:

“What am I going to do about it?”

If there's something in your life you're unhappy with, this episode is your reminder to stop looking everywhere else for the answer and have a look in the mirror.

The Big Lad Podcast is about becoming a better man physically, mentally and personally — without the bullshit.

If this episode hits home, send it to someone who needs to hear it.

Subscribe to The Big Lad Podcast for more conversations about self-improvement, discipline, fitness, mindset, relationships, masculinity and becoming the best version of yourself.

📲 Join the Big Lad Mailing List for exclusive content & early access: https://mailchi.mp/799f9d66ee7f/the-big-lad-podcast

My Instagram - https://instagram.com/gw_fit

The Big Lad Podcast - https://instagram.com/thebigladpodcast

Substack - https://substack.com/@thebigladpodcast

Neutonic - GEORGE10

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to personal responsibility and accountability

02:08 Understanding the self-serving bias and its impact on accountability

04:14 Jaco Willink's extreme ownership and its application

06:07 Overcoming excuses and prioritizing actions

07:20 Victim mentality versus genuine adversity

07:43 The mirror test for self-assessment and taking control

#Accountability #PersonalResponsibility #SelfImprovement #Mindset

How much of your life are you actually living for yourself?

If you're constantly worrying about what other people think, you might be giving away more of your life than you realise.

In this episode of The Big Lad Podcast, I talk about the hidden cost of caring too much about other people's opinions — how the fear of judgement can stop you from taking risks, pursuing your goals, expressing yourself, setting boundaries and ultimately living the life you actually want.

We massively overestimate how much other people are thinking about us. This is known as the spotlight effect — and once you understand it, you start to realise that most of the judgement you're worried about exists far more in your own head than it does in everyone else's.

We also look at:

• Why you shouldn't treat everyone's opinion as equally valuable

• The difference between constructive criticism and meaningless judgement

• Why people pleasing can leave you living someone else's life

• How fear of judgement stops people taking action

• Why you can't control what other people think of you

• The importance of becoming comfortable with being misunderstood• How to stop seeking constant approval

• Why your time is too valuable to spend managing other people's opinions

The uncomfortable truth is that somebody is going to judge you regardless of what you do.

So the question is: are you going to let their opinion determine how you live your life?

This is a short solo episode about confidence, self-worth, authenticity, people pleasing, overthinking and learning to care less about what other people think.

📲 Join the Big Lad Mailing List for exclusive content & early access: https://mailchi.mp/799f9d66ee7f/the-big-lad-podcast

My Instagram - https://instagram.com/gw_fit

The Big Lad Podcast - https://instagram.com/thebigladpodcast

Substack - https://substack.com/@thebigladpodcast

Neutonic - GEORGE10Chapters

00:00 Introduction: The Cost of Caring About Others' Opinions

01:47 The Spotlight Effect: Overestimating Others' Attention

03:52 Controlling Reactions, Not External Events

06:03 The Courage to Be Imperfect and Vulnerable

#SelfImprovement #Confidence #PeoplePleasing #mentalstrength

What if getting more sex from your wife had less to do with asking for more sex… and more to do with becoming a better man?

David Rainwater is the creator of The Fuckable Husband Project — an experiment where he started filtering his behaviour through one simple question:“What would a more fuckable husband do?”

The results went far beyond sex.

In this conversation we talk about marriage, attraction, sex, masculinity, fitness, mental load, competence, communication, social media, boredom, self-improvement and why so many couples stop putting effort into their relationship once they're married.

David explains why doing the dishes doesn't mean you've “earned” sex, why competence can be attractive, why trying to make marriage 50/50 can create unnecessary conflict, why social media is distorting our expectations of relationships, and why the boring parts of marriage might actually be the most important.

We also get into the uncomfortable question:

If you're improving yourself because you want your wife to sleep with you more, are you actually improving yourself — or have you created a contract?

And ultimately, what does it actually mean to be a “fuckable husband”?If you're married, in a long-term relationship, or simply interested in becoming a better man, there's plenty here to think about.

Subscribe to The Big Lad Podcast for more conversations about fitness, self-improvement, relationships and becoming a better version of yourself.

#Marriage #Relationships #SelfImprovement

📲 Join the Big Lad Mailing List for exclusive content & early access: https://mailchi.mp/799f9d66ee7f/the-big-lad-podcast

My Instagram - https://instagram.com/gw_fit

The Big Lad Podcast - https://instagram.com/thebigladpodcast

Substack - https://substack.com/@thebigladpodcast

Neutonic - GEORGE10

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to the Fuckable Husband Project

02:02 The core idea: Behaviours filter through the question of attractiveness

04:20 How the project is perceived by the wife and its impact

07:39 Building habits quickly and using identity as motivation

12:10 The importance of honesty and self-awareness in self-improvement

16:19 The role of social media and societal influences on relationships

20:32 Leveraging strengths and dividing labor in marriage

24:04 The long-term benefits of consistent self-improvement

28:46 The importance of boredom and monotony in relationship longevity

36:39 The distortion of reality by social media and comparison

44:49 The value of internal reflection and self-assessment

01:02:27 Effective communication and repeated conversations

01:09:26 The holistic view of a fulfilling marriage

01:13:56 Practical steps for men to improve their relationships

01:18:55 Defining what it means to be a 'fuckable husband'

Unlock the secrets to long-term gym success with me as I share the most impactful lessons from his 15 years of fitness experience. Forget the myths and the latest fad diets—discover the real strategies that will help you achieve consistent, lasting results. If you're tired of quick fixes and want to build a sustainable workout routine, this episode is a must-listen!

I dive deep into the core principles that can transform your fitness journey. I reveal why more is not always better when it comes to training frequency, and how starting with a manageable routine can set you up for success. You'll learn about the importance of consistency over intensity, and how to overcome the common pitfall of ego lifting that leads to injuries.

You'll discover:

- The critical role of patience in your fitness journey and why it’s crucial to embrace the boring work that leads to real progress.

- Why nobody cares about your gym performance as much as you think they do—helping you let go of gym anxiety and focus on your own journey.

- The essential link between diet and exercise—how nutrition underpins every workout and why you can’t out-train a bad diet.

- Effective strategies for progressive overload that don’t just involve adding more weight, ensuring you’re building strength safely and sustainably.

- The vital importance of recovery, and how to differentiate between mental fatigue and the need for physical rest.

Understanding these principles can save you from burnout and injury while maximising your results. This episode is not only packed with transformative insights but also serves as a rallying cry for anyone eager to make a lasting change in their fitness life.

Tune in to hear my practical tips and actionable advice that are perfect for beginners and seasoned gym-goers alike. Essential listening if you want to build a workout routine that lasts a lifetime!

📲 Join the Big Lad Mailing List for exclusive content & early access: https://mailchi.mp/799f9d66ee7f/the-big-lad-podcast

My Instagram - https://instagram.com/gw_fit

The Big Lad Podcast - https://instagram.com/thebigladpodcast

Substack - https://substack.com/@thebigladpodcast

Neutonic - GEORGE10

0:00 Intro: 15 years of gym lessons

1:10 1. More isn’t always better

3:19 2. Don’t change your program too often

5:36 3. Nobody is judging you at the gym

7:18 4. Form over weight—don’t ego lift

8:55 5. You can’t out-train a poor diet

11:36 6. Food is fuel

13:18 7. Progressive overload isn’t just adding weight

14:22 8. Recovery matters as much as training

16:13 9. Supplements are the finishing touch, not the foundation

20:10 10. Don’t compare yourself to others

22:59 11. Progress takes longer than you think

26:09 Final lesson: don’t quit

28:10 Recap: five principles to follow

29:44 Closing and call to action

We’ve become obsessed with living the “optimal” life.

Optimising our sleep. Our training. Our diet. Our productivity. Our morning routine. Our relationships. Our work.

And social media has made it seem like there’s a perfect formula for living.

Wake up early. Train hard. Eat perfectly. Don’t drink. Get 10,000 steps. Meditate. Read. Sauna. Cold plunge. Work on your business. Get to bed early.

Sounds great…But what happens when trying to live an “optimal” life actually makes you miserable?

In this episode, I talk about why I think the obsession with optimisation has gone too far — and why the most optimal life on paper might not actually be the best life for you.

Because sometimes the things that aren’t “optimal” are the things that make life worth living.

Going for a few drinks with your mates. Staying up late talking absolute shit. Going out for food. Watching the football. Taking time away from work. Doing something purely because you enjoy it.

None of these things might fit into the perfectly optimised lifestyle.But does that mean you should remove them from your life?

I talk about social media, alcohol, friendships, work, fitness, podcasting, comparison and the pressure to constantly improve yourself — and why I think we need to get better at deciding what an “optimal life” actually means for ourselves.

Because if you're constantly optimising your life but never actually enjoying it

What exactly are you optimising it for?

In this episode:

- Why the “optimal lifestyle” can become another form of pressure

- How social media has created unrealistic expectations around how we should live

- Why doing everything “right” doesn't necessarily make you happier

- The importance of friendships, social experiences and making memories

- Where alcohol fits into a balanced life

- Why moderation is often more realistic than perfection

- The danger of comparing your life to someone else's

- Why your optimal life might look completely different to mine

- And why sometimes doing the “wrong” thing can be the right decision for you

The goal isn't to stop trying to improve your life.

It's to stop confusing optimisation with happiness.

This is The Big Lad Podcast.

📲 Join the Big Lad Mailing List for exclusive content & early access: https://mailchi.mp/799f9d66ee7f/the-big-lad-podcast

My Instagram - https://instagram.com/gw_fit

The Big Lad Podcast - https://instagram.com/thebigladpodcast

Substack - https://substack.com/@thebigladpodcast

Neutonic - GEORGE10

Chapters

00:00 Challenging the 'Optimal Lifestyle' Trend

02:22 The Role of Alcohol in Social and Personal Life

04:16 Gangs, Togetherness, and Social Bonding

05:11 The Fakeness of Social Media and the Rise of Authentic Content

07:27 Living in Moderation and Finding Your Own Path

09:15 Managing a Busy Life and Pursuing Passions

11:12 The Reality of Podcasting and Content Creation

12:07 Do What Works for You and Avoid Comparison

14:13 Reflections on Authenticity and Personal Happiness

#optimisation #optimal #authenticity

Are you stuck in the cycle of waiting for motivation to strike?

What if the secret to success lies not in fleeting inspiration, but in the power of discipline? In this compelling episode, I challenges the conventional wisdom around motivation, revealing the surprising truth that it’s discipline—not motivation—that fuels lasting change.

Throughout the episode, I share my personal journey and practical insights on how to push through the days when motivation fails you. The most successful individuals aren’t necessarily more motivated; they’ve simply mastered the art of taking action even when they don’t feel like it. You’ll discover the profound impact of consistency and why showing up—even when it’s hard—matters more than the fleeting spark of motivation.

You'll discover:

- The difference between physical and mental tiredness, and how to recognize when to push through.

- Why waiting for the "perfect moment" is a trap that prevents you from starting.

- The importance of focusing on the journey rather than fixating solely on the end goal.

- How your identity shapes your actions and why it’s crucial to embody the change you wish to see.

- Practical tips for developing discipline in your daily life, enabling you to achieve your long-term aspirations.

The stakes are high—without understanding the role of discipline, you risk falling into complacency and never reaching your true potential. In a world that glorifies instant results, this episode serve as a powerful reminder that the things worth having often require hard work and dedication.

This episode is essential listening for anyone seeking to break free from the motivation myth and embrace a more sustainable path to success. Perfect for aspiring podcasters, entrepreneurs, fitness enthusiasts, and anyone ready to take actionable steps toward their goals. Tune in and learn how to transform your mindset and actions, ensuring you don't just dream about your aspirations but actively pursue them!

Chapters

00:00 Rethinking Motivation: Feelings vs. Discipline

02:23 Motivation Gets You Started, Discipline Keeps You Going

05:12 Physical vs. Mental Tiredness

07:37 The Value of the Boring Tuesday

08:14 The Illusion of Instant Success

09:17 Progress Over Perfection

10:08 Discipline as a Path to Freedom

11:00 Handling Setbacks and Staying Consistent

11:59 Identity and Habits: Who You Are

12:58 Actions Speak Louder Than Words

13:13 The Reality of Discipline and Mistakes

14:09 The Paradox of Comfort and Change

15:12 Priorities and Actions

16:15 Environment's Role in Discipline

18:10 Future Self and Daily Actions

20:52 Knowing When to Stop and Rest

22:30 Discipline Creates More Freedom

23:07 Discipline as a Catalyst for Success

24:21 Overcoming the Desire for Instant Results

25:01 System vs. Goals: The Real Path to Success

Staying comfortable is quietly costing you the best experiences of your life. Say yes before fear talks you out of it, with a raw conversation about hiking, self-development, and why the story you tell yourself is usually scarier than reality.

What starts as a simple hiking group turns into a bigger lesson about confidence, community, and momentum. I share how a small walking meet-up grew into a tight-knit group of strangers who now camp together, take on major UK peaks, and are already planning bigger adventures.

Mindset shift: once you prove to yourself you can handle one uncomfortable thing, everything else gets easier.

You'll discover:

- Why most people never show up alone, even when they want to

- How one TikTok post reached 16,000 people and helped build a real community

- Why follower counts, likes, and views are a terrible measure of success

- How to build confidence by doing the thing you are avoiding, not overthinking it

- Why authenticity beats polished, unrealistic content every timeI also break down how social media and podcasting changed my life by connecting me with people around the world, and why I believe one post can genuinely change someone's future.

Regret is far worse than the awkward five minutes it takes to introduce yourself, join the group, or hit publish.

This episode is for anyone sitting on an idea, a trip, a post, a conversation, or a new version of themselves that they keep delaying. If you need a reminder that the hard part is usually in your head, this one hits.

📲 Join the Big Lad Mailing List for exclusive content & early access: https://mailchi.mp/799f9d66ee7f/the-big-lad-podcast

My Instagram - https://instagram.com/gw_fit

The Big Lad Podcast - https://instagram.com/thebigladpodcast

Substack - https://substack.com/@thebigladpodcast

Neutonic - GEORGE10

Chapters

00:00 The importance of stepping out of your comfort zone

02:08 Opportunities created by social media and authenticity

04:30 The impact of social media posts on life opportunities

07:05 Taking action and seizing life’s opportunities

08:27 The value of helping others and community success

09:23 The importance of genuine connections over follower counts

10:12 Authentic content and relatable social media presence

11:06 Encouragement to pursue passions and live without regrets

11:35 Upcoming guests and future plans

12:08 Final thoughts and call to action