The Birth Lounge Podcast

By HeHe StewartHealth & Fitness Education Parenting Kids & Family

The Birth Lounge Podcast episodes

November 13Ep. 502: 5 Things I Don't Care About as Your Doula (and the 1 Thing I Do)
This episode is brought to you by a paid partnership with Cozy Earth.
Gift-giving season is here, and HeHe says Cozy Earth bamboo PJs are the only ones she wears (and the gift she has given for the last couple of years). Their biggest sale of the year ends December 3rd. Use code HEHE for 35% off at https://www.cozyearth.com and tell them at checkout you heard about them on The Birth Lounge Podcast.

Will your doula be mad if you get an epidural? Will she judge you if you're loud, change your birth plan, or decide that home birth isn't for you? You guys, let's get one thing straight: your doula is not there to grade your birth. After nearly 11 years of attending births, HeHe has a list of five things she genuinely could not care less about when it comes to how you give birth.

HeHe gets into the questions parents are sometimes afraid to ask when interviewing a doula, and why the answers should make you feel supported, not judged. From getting an epidural to making noise, changing your mind, and everything in between, she shares the five things that don't matter nearly as much as people think they do. Plus, there's one thing she cares about more than ALL of them.

Because knowing what you want for your birth is step one. Feeling confident enough to communicate it, navigate hospital policies, and make decisions when things don't go exactly to plan? That's step two. The Birth Lounge gives you judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education to help you understand your options, advocate for yourself, and feel supported every step of the way.

Join The Birth Lounge here ($300 off through midnight Nov 13): https://www.thebirthlounge.com/join

IN THIS EPISODE
The five things HeHe genuinely doesn't care about as your doula
Whether your doula will still support you if you get an epidural
Why being loud, changing your mind, or choosing a different birth setting shouldn't earn you judgment
What to ask when interviewing a doula and the answers you deserve
The one thing HeHe cares about more than how you give birth
Why practicing your advocacy before labor matters

Ready to feel wildly supported and prepared for birth? For five days only, November 9–13, get $300 off The Birth Lounge, plus HeHe will mail you a rebozo and a couple of cozy extras when you join!
Join here: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/join
Sale ends at midnight on November 13.
If this episode helped you, rate and review the show. It's the #1 way other parents find it.

CHAPTERS
00:00 Level 10 Contractions Will Take You Out to Space
00:55 The Birth Lounge $300 Off Sale
02:10 5 Things I Don't Care About as Your Doula
03:55 Does Your Doula Care What Kind of Birth You Have
06:40 Where to Give Birth: Home, Birth Center, or Hospital
10:15 Epidural vs Unmedicated Birth and Pain Relief
13:45 Cozy Earth Sponsor: https://www.cozyearth.com
15:30 Doulas and Providers: Autonomy and Shared Decision-Making
20:45 Best Pushing Position (HeHe's Birth Story)
23:50 What a Doula Actually Cares About
27:15 Final Thoughts and Outro

CONNECT
HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/
The Birth Lounge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.birth.lounge/

KEEP LEARNING WITH HEHE
Scripts for Advocacy, the exact words for the conversations that can make or break your birth, from declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy
Want prep delivered straight to your phone? Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

LINKS MENTIONED
The Birth Lounge $300 Off Sale: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/join
Cozy Earth: https://www.cozyearth.com (code HEHE)
Scripts for Advocacy: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy
The Birth Lounge App: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app
30 min
November 11 Ep. 501: Reparenting After the Mother Wound: Birth Trauma, Grief, and Breaking Generational Cycles with Mandy Cai
This episode is brought to you by a paid partnership with Cozy Earth. HeHe has given Cozy Earth bamboo PJs as gifts for the last couple of years, and they’re the only ones she wears: soft from the start, softer with every wash, warm but not too warm, and not the polyester kind. Their biggest sale of the year ends December 3rd. Head to https://www.cozyearth.com and use code HEHE for 35% off, and when they ask at checkout where you heard about them, tell them The Birth Lounge Podcast.
What happens when becoming a mother brings up all the ways you needed your own mom and didn’t get what you needed? Motherhood has a funny way of bringing old wounds right to the surface. The grief, the unmet needs, the patterns you swore you’d never repeat. Suddenly, you’re not just learning how to mother your child. You’re learning how to mother parts of yourself, too.

Healing your own story is one half of the work. The other half is walking into birth with evidence-based education and a plan to navigate hospital policies, and that’s what The Birth Lounge is built for. It’s $300 off through midnight on November 13, and HeHe will also mail you a rebozo and a couple of cozy extras when you join during the sale: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/join

In this episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe sits down with Mandy Cai, founder of The New School of Motherhood, to talk about the mother wound, reparenting, and how birth and postpartum can bring unresolved trauma and grief bubbling up in ways you never expected. Mandy shares the stories of her two births, including how her first unmedicated water birth, in Shanghai at the height of COVID, left her feeling empowered and confident, while her second birth involved violations of consent that left her feeling unsafe in her body, triggered sexual trauma, and made bonding with her baby difficult. She opens up about recognizing her experience as birth trauma and the work it took to begin healing through therapy, nervous system regulation, and emotional processing.

But this conversation goes far beyond birth stories. HeHe and Mandy unpack how growing up without the mothering you needed can shape the way you show up in adulthood and motherhood, from hyper-independence and struggling to ask for help to the pressure to get everything right with your own children. They talk about grieving the mom you didn’t have, recognizing old patterns as they show up, and learning to repair with your kids when you get it wrong. Because breaking generational cycles doesn’t mean being a perfect mom. It means being willing to notice, take responsibility, and do things differently.

Here’s the part that matters: You can grieve the mother you didn’t have, work toward forgiveness, and still maintain boundaries. Healing doesn’t require pretending the hurt didn’t happen. This episode is an honest conversation about giving yourself the care you may have missed, showing up differently for your children, and learning that repair is possible even when perfection isn’t.

Content note: this conversation includes birth trauma, consent, and past sexual trauma.
In this episode:
• How becoming a mother can bring unresolved childhood wounds and grief to the surface
• Mandy’s two birth stories and how dramatically different those experiences were
• How her first unmedicated water birth shaped her confidence and desire to mother differently
• How violations of consent during her second birth triggered trauma and a sense of unsafety in her body
• Recognizing birth trauma, navigating difficulty bonding, and beginning the healing process
• The role of therapy, nervous system regulation, and emotional processing in healing
• How the mother wound can show up as hyper-independence and difficulty asking for support
• What reparenting actually looks like in everyday motherhood
• Why breaking generational cycles isn’t about being a perfect parent
• How to recognize old patterns and repair with your children in real time
• Why kids benefit from seeing their parents take accountability and make repairs
• Grieving the mother you needed but didn’t have
• How forgiveness and boundaries can coexist

Connect with Mandy Cai and explore The New School of Motherhood for more support around reparenting, healing, and breaking generational cycles: https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com

When you’re ready to feel just as supported going into birth, join The Birth Lounge before the sale ends at midnight on November 13: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/join

If this episode helped you, rate and review the show. It’s the #1 way other parents find it.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Grief Is Love With Nowhere to Go
01:08 The Birth Lounge $300 Off Sale
02:38 Meet Mandy Cai
05:48 Mandy's Birth Stories
06:40 COVID Water Birth Story
13:14 Consent and Birth Trauma Healing
24:30 Reparenting and Doing the Work
25:57 Understanding the Mother Wound
38:42 What Doing the Work Looks Like
44:34 Repairing Old Patterns
46:26 Kids Notice the Repair
47:55 Cozy Earth
56:39 Grieving the Mom You Didn't Have
01:15:50 The New School of Motherhood
01:17:38 Forgiveness and Closing
01:21:18 HeHe's Closing
GUEST BIO
Mandy Cai is the founder of The New School of Motherhood and host of its podcast. She helps driven mothers build well-resourced, mother-centric businesses around their values, capacity, and family life, so meaningful work and deep presence at home no longer have to compete.
CONNECT
HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/
The Birth Lounge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.birth.lounge/
Mandy’s website: https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com
Mandy’s free newsletter on Substack: https://thenewschoolofmotherhood.substack.com
Find Mandy on Instagram, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts as The New School of Motherhood.
KEEP LEARNING WITH HEHE
Want the exact words for protecting your consent in the birth room? Grab Scripts for Advocacy: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy
LINKS MENTIONED
The Birth Lounge, $300 off through midnight November 13: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/join
Cozy Earth (use code HEHE): https://www.cozyearth.com
The New School of Motherhood (Mandy Cai): https://www.thenewschoolofmotherhood.com
Mandy’s free newsletter on Substack: https://thenewschoolofmotherhood.substack.com
Scripts for Advocacy: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy
1 hr 26 min
November 06Ep. 500: How to Turn a Breech Baby: Posture, Spinning Babies, ECV, and Finding a Breech-Trained Provider
Breech baby? First things first: take a breath. A breech position doesn’t automatically mean you need a C-section, and it definitely doesn’t mean you’re out of options. But finding a provider who actually has the skills and experience to support a vaginal breech birth? That’s where things can get tricky.
In this episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe breaks down what you can do if your baby is breech, including practical ways to encourage baby into a head-down position, especially around 26–28 weeks. From posture and body work to chiropractic care, massage, Spinning Babies techniques, strength training, and stretching, she walks through different approaches to help create more balance and space in your body. She also talks about visualization and connecting with your baby, because birth prep isn’t just about checking boxes and doing exercises.
But here’s the bigger conversation: Why are so many parents told that breech automatically means a C-section? HeHe explores the lack of breech training in U.S. medical education and hospital systems, the impact of the Term Breech Trial on breech birth policies, and why access to genuinely breech-trained providers matters. She also explains external cephalic version (ECV), a medical procedure that may be an option for turning a breech baby, and points listeners toward evidence-based education and provider resources through Breech Without Borders.
Want the full breakdown of what to consider before an ECV? HeHe has an entire evidence-based breech article waiting for you inside The Birth Lounge App: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app
In this episode:
Why a breech position doesn’t automatically mean you’re out of birth options
When to start exploring ways to encourage your baby to turn head down
How posture and body mechanics may influence the space available for baby to move
Spinning Babies techniques, including breech tilt and forward-leaning inversion
The role of chiropractic care, massage, body work, and balancing strength training with stretching
Why visualization and connecting with your baby can be part of your birth preparation
What to look for when searching for a provider with actual breech birth training and experience
How the Term Breech Trial influenced hospital policies and access to vaginal breech birth
What external cephalic version (ECV) is and when it may be worth discussing with your provider
Where to find evidence-based breech education and provider resources through Breech Without Borders
Get the evidence-based breech article, including ECV considerations, in The Birth Lounge App: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app
Find breech education and provider resources at Breech Without Borders: https://www.breechwithoutborders.org/
If this episode helped you, rate and review the show. It’s the #1 way other parents find it.

CHAPTERS
00:00 Is Breech Really as Dangerous as They Say?
01:00 The Birth Lounge App
05:49 Does Your Baby Know Something?
06:52 Why Posture Matters
09:15 Body Work and Spinning Babies
10:02 Tension, Strength Training, and Pilates
11:28 Visualization and Connecting with Baby
13:55 Cozy Earth
15:35 The Term Breech Trial and Hospital Policy
16:48 Finding a Breech-Trained Provider
18:18 Breech Without Borders and ECV
19:31 Why HeHe Can't Stay Quiet About Breech Birth

CONNECT
HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/
The Birth Lounge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.birth.lounge/

COZY EARTH
This episode is brought to you by Cozy Earth. HeHe has given Cozy Earth PJs as gifts for the last couple of years, and they are the only ones she wears. Cozy Earth is having its biggest sale of the year through December 3rd. Head to https://www.cozyearth.com and use code HEHE for 35% off. This is a paid partnership, and HeHe may earn a commission when you shop with her code.

KEEP LEARNING WITH HEHE
Want the exact words for the conversation with a provider who says breech means a C-section? Grab Scripts for Advocacy: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

LINKS MENTIONED
The Birth Lounge App: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app
Breech Without Borders: https://www.breechwithoutborders.org/
Spinning Babies: https://www.spinningbabies.com
Cozy Earth (use code HEHE): https://www.cozyearth.com
Scripts for Advocacy: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy
22 min
November 04Ep. 499: Is Your Provider Really Trained in Breech Birth? Your Options for a Vaginal Breech with Betty-Anne Daviss
Breech baby? Suddenly, your options might feel like they’ve gone from a whole menu to one very big “schedule a C-section.” But here’s the thing: vaginal breech birth is a skill, and when providers aren’t trained or hospitals aren’t willing to support it, parents can lose access to an option they may never have been told was possible.
In this episode, HeHe sits down with Betty-Anne Daviss, a midwife and researcher with more than 50 years of experience, to talk about breech birth, unnecessary cesareans, and what it actually takes to rebuild the skills needed to support vaginal breech births. Betty-Anne explains why a one-day training doesn’t automatically make someone qualified to attend breech births, how supervised experience matters, and what she’s working to change through the new Breech POWER Course. They also dig into breech outcomes at her Ottawa hospital, upright breech techniques, the history of forceps, and why routine forceps use isn’t necessarily the answer.
They revisit the controversial Term Breech Trial and the research that followed, explore differences between Canadian and U.S. maternity care systems, and unpack the fear, liability concerns, and hospital policies that can make collaboration so difficult. From Apgar scores and monitoring to induction after your water breaks, this conversation gets into the details that parents and providers need to understand when discussing breech birth.
Because a breech presentation doesn’t mean you should automatically be left without options. This conversation isn’t about pretending every provider has the skills to safely attend every breech birth. It’s about building real competency, creating better collaboration, and making sure parents have access to informed conversations instead of blanket restrictions. Your birth options should be shaped by your individual circumstances and qualified care, not simply by what a hospital is comfortable offering.
Knowing your options is one thing. Having bite-sized birth prep in your pocket for the next appointment, when someone says “we don’t do that here,” is another. That’s what The Birth Lounge App is for: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app
In this episode:
Betty-Anne’s 50+ years of experience in midwifery and what led her to focus on breech birth
Why short breech trainings can create overconfidence without the supervised experience needed to build real skills
What the new Breech POWER Course offers and how it aims to expand provider education
What Betty-Anne reports about breech outcomes at her hospital in Ottawa
The history of forceps in breech birth and why Betty-Anne challenges their routine use
How upright breech birth techniques work and why hands-on skills matter
What the Term Breech Trial found and what later follow-up research adds to the conversation
Why breech babies may have lower initial Apgar scores and what providers should consider when monitoring
The differences between Canadian and U.S. midwifery systems and access to breech birth
How hospital privileges, liability concerns, and fear can create barriers to collaboration
What to consider when discussing induction after PROM with a breech baby
Where families and providers can find more education, training, and support
Betty-Anne’s work on birth models, activism, and human rights
If you want prep delivered straight to your phone, download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app
Providers and birth workers: the Breech POWER Conference is November 21-22 in Toronto. Details and registration: https://www.breechpowercourse.com/workshops-conferences
If this episode helped you, rate and review the show. It’s the #1 way other parents find it.

CHAPTERS
00:00 Bringing Breech Back
01:00 Why Breech Is HeHe’s Hill to Die On
07:00 Breech Roadblocks in Hospitals
09:29 Betty-Anne’s Background and the Breech POWER Course
13:45 The Term Breech Trial
14:56 Canadian vs. U.S. Midwifery Systems
18:23 Getting Breech Birth Privileges at the Hospital
19:34 The Frank Nudge and the History of Forceps
21:15 Why Forceps May Not Be Needed
26:05 Breech Birth Techniques and Hands-On Skills
27:45 Truly Free
31:17 Home vs. Hospital for Breech Birth
34:48 Why Breech Babies May Have Lower Apgar Scores
38:59 NICU Stories and Lessons Learned
40:15 U.S. vs. Canada: Fear, Liability, and Breech Birth Restrictions
45:29 A Patient Story About Childlike vs. Childish Thinking
49:34 Induction After PROM with a Breech Baby
55:15 Where Do U.S. Families Go for Breech Birth?
57:24 The Breech POWER Conference
58:41 Closing Thoughts and Resources
01:00:56 Betty-Anne’s Books and Where to Find Her

GUEST BIO
Betty-Anne Daviss has been a midwife for over 50 years. Originally trained by traditional midwives in Guatemala, she has done clinical research and published in medical journals on hemorrhage and home birth, upright vaginal breech birth, and VBAC. She holds breech privileges at a hospital in Ottawa, has spoken at conferences around the world, and leads trainings for breech birth through the Breech POWER Course. She is the author of Birthing Models on the Human Rights Frontier and Rethinking the Physiology of Vaginal Breech Birth.

A NOTE FROM BETTY-ANNE
“We say now that if you are a breech practitioner with large hands, like William Smellie (in the 1700s), you may need forceps, but if you are a seasoned practitioner with female-sized hands, you have another instrument. If you use the upright positioning, you rarely need it for the breech, but for the 1-5% of times you need something, your hand fits well into the birthing person's vagina to extract the head. We know from the MRI studies in Frankfurt that the transverse diameters of the pelvis open up 1 to 2 cm. in a crouched over position and from the biomechanical engineering studies, they also become more ample in the squatting position, so usually just positioning works. And we know at least one male with large hands who used his hand, reaching far enough into the vagina to reach the top of the baby's head just with his 4 fingers, using this "Crowning Touch" manoeuvre, not needing the rest of his hand.”

CONNECT
HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/
Breech POWER Course: https://www.breechpowercourse.com
Understanding Birth Better: https://understandingbirthbetter.com
Betty-Anne’s book, Birthing Models on the Human Rights Frontier (Routledge): https://routledge.com/Birthing-Models-on-the-Human-Rights-Frontier-Speaking-Truth-to-Power/Daviss-Davis-Floyd/p/book/9780367357924

BREECH POWER CONFERENCE
November 21-22, 2026 at Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre in Toronto. $500 CAD for the two days, or $400 CAD per person with the interprofessional team registration (bring a colleague from another profession). Register: https://www.breechpowercourse.com/workshops-conferences

TRULY FREE
This episode contains an affiliate link. If you purchase through it, HeHe may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. HeHe’s laundry detergent rabbit hole ended with Truly Free, plant-based, dye-free, and available completely unscented, which mattered to her once she had a baby’s clothes and sheets to think about. It still actually cleans, and one box lasts for months. Head to https://www.trulyfreehome.com and use code HEHE to save on your order.

KEEP LEARNING WITH HEHE
Want the exact words for the conversation with a provider who says “we don’t do that here”? Grab Scripts for Advocacy: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

LINKS MENTIONED
The Birth Lounge App: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app
Breech POWER Course: https://www.breechpowercourse.com
Breech POWER Conference registration: https://www.breechpowercourse.com/workshops-conferences
Understanding Birth Better: https://understandingbirthbetter.com
Birthing Models on the Human Rights Frontier (Routledge): https://routledge.com/Birthing-Models-on-the-Human-Rights-Frontier-Speaking-Truth-to-Power/Daviss-Davis-Floyd/p/book/9780367357924
Breech Without Borders: https://www.breechwithoutborders.org/
Truly Free (use code HEHE): https://www.trulyfreehome.com
1 hr 8 min
October 30Ep. 498: Before You Agree to an Induction: 5 Things to Know (Bishop Score, “Pit to Distress,” and More)
Getting induced? Before you show up at the hospital with your overnight bag and assume you’ll have a baby by dinner, let’s talk. Inductions can take a LONG time, and there are a few things you really want to understand before agreeing to one. From your Bishop score to Pitocin dosing and the phrase “pit to distress,” HeHe is breaking down what you need to know so you can walk into that induction feeling prepared, not completely blindsided.

In this episode, HeHe shares five things to consider before an induction, including why you need a plan for a potentially long process, whether your hospital allows you to go home between cervical-ripening doses, and what to ask if you hear the phrase “pit to distress.” Yes, that’s a real phrase used in some hospital cultures, and it’s worth understanding what it means. HeHe also walks through induction-related risks, including overly frequent contractions, fetal intolerance, and the potential for a cascade of interventions.

Plus, don’t skip the Bishop score! This assessment can help you understand how ready your cervix is for induction and may help guide decisions about which induction methods make sense. Because the more you understand about what’s happening in your body, the better equipped you are to have an actual conversation with your provider about your options.

Because knowing what to ask is only half the battle, HeHe introduces Labor Live, a three-day, real-time birth preparation challenge starting November 1. You’ll practice asking questions, requesting time to make decisions, and even saying no. Because trying to figure out how to advocate for yourself for the first time while you’re in labor? Not exactly ideal. Join here: https://joinlaborlive.com

In this episode:
Why inductions can take much longer than you expect and how to plan for the process
Whether your hospital allows you to go home between cervical-ripening doses
What “pit to distress” means and why you should ask about Pitocin dosing protocols
How to recognize potential discrepancies between hospital policies and evidence-based guidelines
What risks and interventions may be associated with induction, including tachysystole, fetal intolerance, epidurals, hemorrhage, and tearing
What a Bishop score is and how it helps assess cervical readiness for induction
How your Bishop score may help you choose your induction method and medications, and when to ask for it
Why a membrane sweep and a follow-up cervical assessment may be part of the conversation
How to practice saying no, asking questions, and requesting time to make informed decisions before labor
Ready to practice advocating for yourself before you’re in the birth room? Join HeHe for the three-day Labor Live Challenge starting November 1: https://joinlaborlive.com
If this episode helped you, rate and review the show. It’s the #1 way other parents find it.

00:00 Pit to Distress Explained
00:58 Labor Live Challenge Intro
01:25 Practice Saying No
03:52 Train Your Nervous System
04:36 Join Labor Live Details
04:54 Induction Tip 1 Long Timeline
06:20 Induction Tip 2 Going Home Option
07:36 Detergent Sponsor Break
11:11 Pitocin Culture Warning
12:50 Induction Risks Bishop Score Wrap

CONNECT
HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/
The Birth Lounge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.birth.lounge/

TRULY FREE
This episode contains an affiliate link. If you purchase through it, HeHe may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. HeHe’s laundry detergent rabbit hole ended with Truly Free, plant-based, dye-free, and available completely unscented, which mattered to her once she had a baby’s clothes and sheets to think about. It still actually cleans, and one box lasts for months. Head to https://www.trulyfreehome.com and use code HEHE to save on your order.

KEEP LEARNING WITH HEHE
Want to know exactly what to ask about Pitocin? Grab HeHe’s free Pitocin Guide: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin
Want the exact words for saying no or asking for time to think? Scripts for Advocacy: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

LINKS MENTIONED
Labor Live Challenge: https://joinlaborlive.com
Truly Free (use code HEHE): https://www.trulyfreehome.com
20 min
October 28Ep. 497: Before You Get an Epidural: 5 Things to Know About Timing, Positions, and Your Anesthesiologist
Before you say yes to an epidural, there are a few things you need to know about timing, positioning, and who's actually placing that needle in your back. Because an epidural can be an amazing tool, but you deserve to understand your options before you're mid-contraction, trying to make decisions while your uterus is doing the absolute most.
Let's be clear: an epidural isn't a failure, and an unmedicated birth isn't a gold star. The goal is for YOU to make the decision that feels right for you, with the information and support you need to make it. In this episode, HeHe breaks down five things to understand before getting an epidural, including what she calls the "rotisserie chicken" (yes, really), why lying flat after your epidural might not be your best move, and why every hospital's epidural medication protocol can look a little different.
HeHe also shares a piece of advice that might surprise you: if you're considering an epidural, it's worth talking with your provider about timing before labor, even if you're planning an unmedicated birth. Add in what HeHe has learned from an OB anesthesiologist she follows on Instagram, why the person placing your epidural matters, and how to communicate your preferences to your birth team, and you've got a conversation you want to have before you're in the birth room.
Because knowing what you want and feeling confident enough to speak up when you're in labor? Those are two very different things. That's exactly why HeHe created the Labor Live Challenge: to help you practice making decisions, asking questions, and advocating for yourself before the real-life contractions kick in.
In this episode:
Why the skill and experience of the person placing your epidural matter, and what HeHe learned from an OB anesthesiologist she follows
What the "rotisserie chicken" is and why positioning after an epidural deserves more attention
Why epidural medications and protocols can vary between hospitals
What to discuss ahead of time if you have allergies, concerns, or specific pain-management goals
Why HeHe recommends discussing epidural timing before labor, even if you're hoping for an unmedicated birth
How to figure out whether you're at a "hell yes" or a "maybe" when making a birth decision
Who on your birth team needs to know your preferences and plan
Why information alone doesn't equal preparation—and what your birth confidence score has to do with it
Ready to practice your birth decisions before you're in labor? The Labor Live Challenge starts on the first of every month. Get in there and practice advocating for yourself before you're trying to do it between contractions: https://joinlaborlive.com
If this episode helped you, rate and review The Birth Lounge Podcast! It helps other parents find the show and get the information they deserve.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Don’t Lie Flat
01:01 Birth Simulation Idea
02:37 Labor Live Challenge
04:08 Epidural Basics Intro
04:13 Anesthesiologist Skill
06:01 Rotisserie Chicken Positions
07:19 Medication Cocktail Goals
09:28 Purity Coffee Break
12:35 Timing Your Epidural
17:20 Practice and Wrap Up
CONNECT
HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/
The Birth Lounge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.birth.lounge/

PURITY COFFEE
This episode contains an affiliate promotion. If you buy Purity Coffee using HeHe’s code, she may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. Shop Purity Coffee with HeHe’s link and use code HEHE: https://puritycoffee.com/HEHE

KEEP LEARNING WITH HEHE
Want the exact words for asking for alternatives, taking time to think, or saying no? Grab Scripts for Advocacy: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

LINKS MENTIONED
Labor Live Challenge: https://joinlaborlive.com
Purity Coffee (use code HEHE): https://puritycoffee.com/HEHE
Safepartum on Instagram (OB anesthesiologist HeHe learns from): https://www.instagram.com/safepartum/
Scripts for Advocacy: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy
22 min
October 23Ep. 496 Hospital Triage Explained: Why You Might Not Be Admitted Yet (and What to Do About It)
You made it to the hospital! You’re having contractions, you’re ready to meet your baby, and then someone tells you… you’re not being admitted yet. WHAT?! Before you assume something is wrong or feel like you’re being sent home to fend for yourself, let’s talk about what hospital triage actually is, why it happens, and how to navigate it without feeling completely lost.

In this episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe breaks down what happens when you arrive at the hospital in labor, from the questions you’ll be asked and the monitoring you may encounter to cervical checks, IVs, and how your care team decides whether it’s time to admit you to labor and delivery. She explains why some hospitals use around six centimeters of dilation as an admission benchmark, why you might be asked to labor at home a little longer, and how to communicate with your provider before you even walk through the doors. She also covers why things like cervical checks and IV placement are not automatically something you have to agree to.

Plus, HeHe shares practical tips for making triage work for you, including when to call your provider, what information to communicate ahead of arrival, and how to let your team know about your pain-management preferences. Because if you’re hoping for an epidural or nitrous oxide, having those conversations early can help your team understand what you’re looking for. You deserve to know what’s happening, understand your options, and feel like an active participant in your birth, not like you’re just waiting for someone to tell you what happens next.
Knowing what triage looks like is one thing. Practicing how you’d handle it is another.

Practice your birth decisions before you’re in labor with the Labor Live Challenge: https://joinlaborlive.com

In this episode:
What hospital triage actually is and why it’s a filtering process before admission
When to call your provider after your water breaks or contractions become rhythmic
Why you may be asked to labor longer at home before being admitted
What to communicate to your birth team before arriving at the hospital
What happens during triage, including contraction monitoring, fetal monitoring, vital signs, and cervical exams
Why dilation, effacement, and your overall situation may factor into admission decisions
How providers may check whether your water has broken
Why cervical checks and IVs are options to discuss, not automatic yeses
How to communicate your pain-management preferences before you’re deep in labor
What you can do while waiting, including walking and tracking your contractions
How to reframe triage so you feel more informed, prepared, and confident advocating for yourself

Practice your birth decisions before you’re in labor with the Labor Live Challenge: https://joinlaborlive.com

Get the exact words for saying no to cervical checks, IVs, and other interventions with Scripts for Advocacy: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

If this episode helped you, rate and review the show. It’s the #1 way other parents find it.

CHAPTERS
00:00 You Made It, But You're Not Admitted?!
01:33 Introducing Labor Live
02:18 Join the Monthly Simulation
02:52 What Hospital Triage Is
03:28 Admission Criteria Basics
04:09 When to Call Your Provider
05:47 Arriving and Waiting in Triage
06:36 Triage Intake Questions
07:26 Checks, Monitors, and Options
09:26 Reframe and Next Steps

CONNECT
HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/
The Birth Lounge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.birth.lounge/

KEEP LEARNING WITH HEHE
Want the exact words for the conversations that can make or break your birth, from declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions? Grab Scripts for Advocacy: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy

LINKS MENTIONED
Labor Live Challenge: https://joinlaborlive.com
Scripts for Advocacy: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy
14 min
October 21Ep. 495: Pitocin in Labor: 5 Things to Know Before It’s Hooked Up to Your IV
Pitocin is one of the most commonly used drugs in labor, but how much do you actually know about it before someone asks you to start it? It’s not about being for or against Pitocin. It’s about understanding what it does, how it works differently from your body’s natural oxytocin, and what questions you should be asking before it’s hooked up to your IV.
In this episode, HeHe breaks down five things every pregnant person should understand about Pitocin, from dosing limits and contraction intensity to induction timing and whether the medication can be turned down or off. She explains why synthetic oxytocin doesn’t work quite like the oxytocin your body produces naturally, why the timing of an induction matters, and why how Pitocin is used can make a big difference in your birth experience. She also explores concerns around high or prolonged dosing and how Pitocin may affect oxytocin receptors, including their role in postpartum hemorrhage treatment.
Practice your birth decisions before you’re in labor with the Labor Live Challenge: https://joinlaborlive.com
The goal isn’t to make you afraid of Pitocin. It’s a tool that can be incredibly useful when it’s needed! But you deserve to understand the benefits, risks, alternatives, and options before making a decision. Knowing about Pitocin is one thing. Feeling prepared to navigate that conversation when you’re in labor is another. HeHe shares how to take that next step with the Labor Live Challenge and her free Pitocin Guide, so you can walk into birth with more than a vague memory of something you heard on a podcast.
Get HeHe’s free Pitocin Guide: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin
IN THIS EPISODE
Why does synthetic Pitocin confuse your body’s natural oxytocin feedback, and what happens when it ramps up faster than your brain can register?
What do the FDA’s dosing recommendations actually say, and how do you find out if your hospital’s policy follows them?
Why can Pitocin lead to contractions that are too close, too hard, and too fast, and how does your baby handle that?
Why does the timing of an induction matter, and what do prostaglandins have to do with it before Pitocin ever enters the picture?
Can you really turn Pitocin down or off, and when is that a smart conversation versus one HeHe says isn’t advised?
How can too much Pitocin in labor affect your receptors, and why does that matter if you ever need help with a postpartum hemorrhage?
Why does knowing all of this still leave a gap, and what is the difference between information and preparation?
CHAPTERS
00:00 Pitocin Can Be Adjusted
01:08 Why Providers Simulate Births
02:44 Introducing Labor Live
04:15 Pitocin Episode Kickoff
04:35 Pitocin vs Natural Oxytocin
06:58 FDA Limits and Hospital Policies
08:35 Timing Pitocin in Induction
10:07 Turning Pitocin Down or Off
12:44 High Doses and Hemorrhage Risk
14:41 Practice for Birth Confidence
20 min
October 16 Ep. 494: Allowed to Birth: Who Decides What You're "Allowed" to Do in Labor? Breech, VBAC, and Birth Advocacy
What does it actually mean to be allowed to give birth a certain way? And who gets to decide? Spoiler: it shouldn't come down to hospital policy, a provider's comfort level, or skills they were never taught in the first place.

In this episode of The Birth Lounge Podcast, HeHe dives deeper into Allowed to Birth, the documentary challenging the way we think about birth, autonomy, and the options parents are offered. From breech birth and VBAC to ultrasound, midwifery, and the fear that can shape the entire birth experience, this conversation gets into what happens when the system's limitations become your limitations. Plus, HeHe introduces the Labor Live Challenge, a three-day live birth simulation starting November 1, where you can practice making decisions, advocating for yourself, and navigating the unexpected before you're in the birth room. Sign up at joinlaborlive.com

You'll hear from experts featured in the film, including an OB/GYN who traveled to Germany to learn upright, physiologic breech birth skills; a certified nurse-midwife making the case for evidence-based care and real collaboration between midwives and OBs; and a midwife and sonographer unpacking how ultrasound can be a helpful tool without turning every finding into a reason to panic. The conversation also explores the global shortage of midwives, the difference between regulation and safety, and how fear affects the body's response to labor. Because information should help you feel more prepared, not more terrified.

The takeaway? You deserve options, honest conversations, informed consent, and a care team that respects your voice. This isn't about saying every birth option is right for every person. It's about making sure your choices are based on your individual circumstances, good information, and actual conversations, not fear or someone else's assumptions about what you're "allowed" to do.

In this episode:
Why birth options can depend on provider training, hospital policies, and the skills available in your area
What an OB/GYN learned while pursuing upright, physiologic breech birth training in Germany
How fear, litigation concerns, and gaps in training can influence breech birth and VBAC access
Why hands-on skills and true collaboration between OBs and midwives matter
How to approach ultrasound as a tool for information and planning, without treating every result as a worst-case scenario
The difference between understanding a baby's size or position and using those findings to fuel unnecessary fear
Why the global midwife workforce gap matters for families seeking more options
How regulation, access, and safety intersect in maternity care
What fear does to the body during labor, including the roles of adrenaline and oxytocin
How language and frightening messaging can shape the birth experience
Why hypnobirthing isn't about being hypnotized or magically having a pain-free birth
How partners can help you practice advocacy and prepare for decisions before labor begins
Why knowing your options is important, but practicing how to navigate them can make all the difference
Explore Allowed to Birth and find screening information: https://allowedtobirth.com
Practice your birth decisions before you're in labor with Labor Live: https://joinlaborlive.com
Explore The Birth Lounge: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/

Timestamps
00:00 Reclaim Your Power
01:23 Birth Simulation Idea
03:00 Labor Live Challenge
04:30 Allowed to Birth Setup
06:04 Breech Twins and VBAC Limits
11:19 An OB/GYN Trains in Germany
15:47 Why Breech Birth Is Limited in the U.S.
21:46 The Importance of Hands-On Breech Skills
24:16 Demanding Better Birth Options
33:44 What Does "Allowed" Really Mean?
35:39 Meet Midwife Whitney
38:47 Evidence-Based Hospital Birth
45:39 Collaboration and Accountability
48:46 Building Trust Around VBAC
50:04 Doulas and Team Culture
51:53 Gaps in Hospital Training
52:49 Redefining What's "Allowed"
54:17 Technology vs. Intuition
56:56 Ultrasound Safety Basics
01:00:13 Scan Limitations and Errors
01:08:25 Fearmongering Around a "Big Baby"
01:11:21 Ultrasound as a Planning Tool
01:15:52 Lineage, Trauma, and Power
01:22:33 Balancing Tools and Change
01:25:25 Non-Toxic Baby Gifts
01:27:34 Data vs. Certainty
01:30:37 The Reality of Emergency Planning
01:36:43 Ultrasound Limitations and Fear
01:44:38 Birth, Permission, and Autonomy
01:50:43 The Goal of One Million Midwives
01:58:45 Regulation vs. Safety
02:07:18 The Fear Response in Labor
02:11:30 How Words Can Trigger Fear
02:12:17 Adrenaline vs. Oxytocin
02:15:24 Induction and the Cascade of Interventions
02:18:35 Learning About Birth Without Fear
02:20:34 Hypnobirthing, Reframed
02:26:11 Debunking Hypnosis Myths
02:30:56 The Partner's Role and Practicing Advocacy
02:34:47 Planning Birth Decisions Ahead of Time
02:38:49 Who Decides What's "Allowed"?
02:45:45 Film Takeaways and Final Call
02:51:21 Inside the Labor Live Simulation
02:53:30 Final Wrap and Outro

Guests:
Dr. Bradley Meyer:
https://www.breechwithoutborders.org/bradley/
Whitney Pinger:
https://wisdommidwifery.com/about
Amariee Collins:
https://radicle.my.canva.site/
Zulgeil "Zul" Ruiz-Ginés, LM:
https://kibimidwifery.org/about-the-team
Katharine Graves:
https://www.kghypnobirthing.com/us/hypnobirthing-online-course
SOCIAL MEDIA:
Connect with HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/
BIRTH EDUCATION:
Learn how to stay in control of your birth and reduce the risk of unnecessary interventions in our Avoid a C-Section Webinar. HeHe breaks down the cascade of interventions, explains what’s really happening in the hospital, and shares practical strategies to protect your birth plan, advocate for yourself, and navigate labor with confidence. Perfect for anyone who wants a positive, informed hospital birth experience: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/csection
Feeling nervous about speaking up in labor? Our Scripts for Advocacy give you the exact words to handle the most common conversations that can make or break your birth experience. From declining unnecessary interventions to asking the right questions about procedures, these scripts empower you to stay in control, speak confidently, and protect your birth plan — even when the pressure is on. Think of it as your personal toolkit for advocating like a pro, so you can focus on your baby, not the stress: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/Scripts-for-Advocacy
And if you haven’t grabbed it yet…
Snag my free Pitocin Guide to understand the risks, benefits, and red flags your provider may not be telling you about, so you can make informed, powerful decisions in labor: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/pitocin
Join The Birth Lounge for judgment-free, evidence-based childbirth education from HeHe that shows you exactly how to navigate hospital policies, avoid unnecessary interventions, and have a trauma-free labor experience, all while feeling wildly supported every step of the way: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/
Want prep delivered straight to your phone?
Download The Birth Lounge App for bite-sized birth and postpartum tools you can use anytime, anywhere: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app
LINKS MENTIONED:
HeHe’s go-to gift is the Primally Pure Baby Bundle! After having Saggy, these became products she actually uses at home, from the baby balm and bath bar to the baby oil and powder. Want to gift a new parent some simple baby-care staples? Head to primallypure.com and use code HEHE for 10% off your order.
This episode contains affiliate links, which means HeHe may earn a commission if you purchase through her link, at no extra cost to you.
2 hr 55 min
October 14Ep. 493: Allowed to Birth, The Documentary Changing How We Talk About Maternity Care with Jacinta Lagos
Birth changes you. The real question is whether you come out the other side feeling strong, supported, and like your voice actually mattered, or like it never did.

In this episode HeHe sits down with Jacinta Lagos, Argentinian-born filmmaker, birth photographer, and director of the documentary Allowed to Birth: The Journey of a Global Midwife, right after attending the film's premiere. Jacinta built the film after years of watching obstetric violence, disrespectful care, and hospital policy get put ahead of the person actually giving birth, and she wanted to do something bigger about it than another social post.

Knowing what's possible in your birth is one thing, actually practicing it before you're in the room is another. That's exactly what the Labor Live Challenge is built for, a three day live birth simulation you can do every single month: https://joinlaborlive.com/

Jacinta and HeHe get into the real story behind the documentary, from how midwife Kristine Lauria became the center of the film (including the triplet home birth that changed the entire shape of the project) to why Jacinta deliberately chose a cast with no political overlap, because birth doesn't have a side. They talk about the unexpected reactions she's gotten on the road, including a nurse-midwife who told her she felt threatened by the film, and what that reaction actually revealed. And they're both clear about one thing: this isn't an anti-hospital or pro-home-birth film. It's a film about informed choice.

In this episode:
Why birth is a pivotal life transition, and why feeling safe, supported, and autonomous matters long after your baby arrives
The Labor Live Challenge and why practicing birth decisions before labor can help you actually feel prepared, not just informed
What inspired Jacinta to create Allowed to Birth after witnessing obstetric violence, disrespect, and hospital policies overriding patient choice
Why midwife Kristine Lauria became central to the film, and what the triplet home birth she caught on camera did to the shape of the whole project
How Jacinta chose her cast, and why she was intentional about pulling people from every corner of the political spectrum
The unexpected reactions from screenings, including a provider who said the film made her feel threatened
Why this isn't an anti-hospital or pro-home-birth documentary, but a conversation about informed choice
Where to find a screening, how to host your own, and when the film is coming online

If you want to feel ready instead of just informed, go practice your birth before you're actually in it: https://joinlaborlive.com/

If this episode moved you, rate and review the show. It's the number one way other parents find it.

CHAPTERS
00:00 Birth Changes You
00:31 Practice Labor Live
02:27 Allowed to Birth Premiere
08:00 Why Jacinta Made It
23:00 Truly Free
26:36 Screenings and Pushback
35:27 System Failing Mothers
36:02 Premiere Speech Highlights
39:07 Choosing the Interviewees
44:07 Film Impact and Alternatives
49:11 How to Watch and Final Wrap

GUEST BIO
Jacinta Lagos is an Argentinian-born filmmaker, birth photographer, and videographer based in the United States. A former doula and mother of three, she is the director of Allowed to Birth: The Journey of a Global Midwife, marking her debut as a feature filmmaker. The documentary follows midwife Kristine Lauria and explores birth practices, maternal autonomy, and the importance of physiological birth, built as a tool for education and advocacy around informed choice in maternity care.

CONNECT
HeHe on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tranquilitybyhehe/
The Birth Lounge on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.birth.lounge/
Allowed to Birth: https://www.allowedtobirth.com/
Allowed to Birth on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allowedtobirth/

TRULY FREE
This episode contains an affiliate link, which means HeHe may earn a commission if you purchase through it at no extra cost to you. After going down the laundry detergent rabbit hole, HeHe landed on Truly Free, a plant-based, dye-free option that comes completely unscented and actually gets the job done. Because baby clothes, sheets, and approximately a million loads of family laundry deserve a detergent that checks all the boxes. One box lasts for months, too! Head to trulyfreehome.com and use code HEHE to save on your order.

KEEP LEARNING WITH HEHE
Download The Birth Lounge app for evidence-based childbirth education and data-driven postpartum support delivered straight to your phone: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

LINKS MENTIONED
Watch or host a screening of Allowed to Birth: https://www.allowedtobirth.com/
Practice your birth with the Labor Live Challenge: https://joinlaborlive.com/
Truly Free (use code HEHE): https://www.trulyfreehome.com
Allowed to Birth on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/allowedtobirth/
The Birth Lounge app: https://www.thebirthlounge.com/app

LISTEN NEXT
Ep. 492: Kristine Lauria on Allowed to Birth, Informed Consent, and the Fight to Preserve Midwifery Skills (HeHe references this one directly in the episode as last week's conversation): https://youtu.be/OvNC_N8Y0Ig
58 min

About The Birth Lounge Podcast

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We’re exploring option from conception to childhood to help women take control of their fertility, birth experience, postpartum healing, and motherhood journey! This is a safe space for all parents to…