The Boundaries.me Podcast

On this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show:

Cheri wants to know: Do narcissists know what they're doing or are they unaware of it? Is it automatic for them to be manipulative, like a defense mechanism? Is there a way to make them see it?

Question: What's the difference between shame and guilt?

Question: Disapproval triggers me and I'm hard on myself about it. I'm married with kids yet I still feel like a child. How do I get my needs met without feeling afraid and more insecure?

Dr. Cloud's upcoming workshop Mentally Healthy Faith is a two hour workshop covering how your mental health and your spiritual life intertwine. Discounted pricing is available for a limited time at www.boundaries.me/faith

Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build your way to a better version of yourself. We've also got a members-only support community on the site where you can discuss what you're learning, and get support and share support along the way. It's a free two-week trial, cancel at anytime, and only $9 a month after that. https://www.boundaries.me

On this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show:

Katherine wonders if she's an "unsafe" person, and if so, what can she do about it? 

Question: How do I get over the guy I was in love with? We agreed to go separate ways because we want different things. It's been two weeks. I can't stop thinking about him. It makes me sick thinking about him with another woman.

Laurel's mother died recently. Her sister thinks she betrayed her when she didn't and the sister refuses to talk to her. She wants to keep her boundaries, but things are going to stay like they are unless she caves in. What other options does she have?

Question: How do I relax? I have good stuff going on in my life too, but it's hard to breathe in the midst of everything.

Dr. Cloud's upcoming workshop Mentally Healthy Faith is a two hour workshop covering how your mental health and your spiritual life intertwine. Discounted pricing is available for a limited time at www.boundaries.me/faith

Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build your way to a better version of yourself. We've also got a members-only support community on the site where you can discuss what you're learning, and get support and share support along the way. It's a free two-week trial, cancel at anytime, and only $9 a month after that. https://www.boundaries.me

On this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show:

Question: My husband and I are struggling in our relationship with his mother. When we put small boundaries in place, she gets upset and reacts with passive aggressiveness and tries to make us feel guilty. How do we create a healthy relationship with her?

Question: What are some good questions you can ask someone on a first date to really get to know their character?

Question: I struggle with letting my 23-year-old daughter face possible consequences. I think she has mental health issues and a drug problem. She calls crying when the bottom falls out. How do I "let go and let God?"

Question: As I get older, I find that my circle of friends is getting smaller and it becomes more difficult to make new friends. If I do make new friends, are there things I can look for in a person to know that they're going to be a good long-term friend?

Claire is close to her parents and puts their advice higher than anyone else's. They didn't let her date when she was a teen. She wants to talk to them about her dating life to get advice, but she's not sure how it will go.

Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build your way to a better version of yourself. We've also got a members-only support community on the site where you can discuss what you're learning, and get support and share support along the way. It's a free two-week trial, cancel at anytime, and only $9 a month after that. https://www.boundaries.meHolly is separated from her husband after a short marriage. They are through. What can she do to get ready for dating again? When is the time right?

On this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show:

Question: I am seeing a guy who tells me he isn't looking for a relationship, but he always talks to me and makes time for me every day. Could this guy be lying about what he really wants?

Question: I have become a self-righteous witch to my husband. We have been in couples counseling for a year. The therapist says my husband is conflict avoidant and he now uses that as an excuse. What can I do to handle the conflict avoidant behavior without ending my marriage?

Stephanie is trying to figure out how to heal a friendship that became romantic. How can she stop blaming him for the things he can't control? What's the first step in restoring their friendship?

Lindsay needs guidance on setting boundaries with her husband as they work through issues in their marriage. They're in counseling, but she's feeling fatigued. How can they come to agreements that will prevent blow-ups?

Question: How does a parent gain trust with a babysitter for their special-needs child?

Question: My husband agreed to a joint checking account, but he still has a separate account and assets. He refuses to get a job and keeps taking money out of our joint account. Should I give up on him?

Question: My parents are struggling with my two teen brothers. There was a lack of structure and discipline early on. What are some ways they can set boundaries with teenagers?

Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build your way to a better version of yourself. We've also got a members-only support community on the site where you can discuss what you're learning, and get support and share support along the way. It's a free two-week trial, cancel at anytime, and only $9 a month after that. https://www.boundaries.me 

On this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show:

Question: I am mustering the energy and patience necessary to be a stay at home mom to three kids under seven years old. I have the hardest time not being an absolutely horrible person to my kids especially when I'm sleep deprived. Dow you have any advice?

Annalisa is naturally hard on herself. She's in therapy for it. Her self-critical ways have rubbed off on her son. What can she do to help herself and her son stop the self-criticism?

Question: Learning to lose well can involve a lot of grief, especially when you have teenagers making poor choices you feel responsible for. How do you move past the regrets of parenting and into a more loving and accepting relationship with you kids?

Question: Paul needs to set some boundaries with his wife but doesn't know how. A simple disagreement led to her locking him out the house. What can they do to get some help?

Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build your way to a better version of yourself. We've also got a members-only support community on the site where you can discuss what you're learning, and get support and share support along the way. It's a free two-week trial, cancel at anytime, and only $9 a month after that. https://www.boundaries.me

On this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show:

Our call system ran into some issues on this episode so all of the questions below were written-in during the live chat on YouTube and Facebook.

If your future sister-in-law tells you that boundaries are unbiblical and that Christians are to instruct and rebuke one another, are boundaries worth discussing with her? She’s telling my fiancé and me how to live our lives: how many times to attend church, what are sexual activities need to be, what we should do with finances, etc. What’s the best way to approach this? Should we try to show her why boundaries are healthy? Or should we just say, “Please keep your unsolicited advice to yourself. We’re not interested.”

How does someone communicate a boundary when it is always met with anger and defensiveness? That anger and defensiveness causes fear in the one trying to communicate the boundary and the person trying to set the boundary is living with the other person?

How do you deal with a “Pharisee ” who thinks they are telling you truth when it is really their opinion that you don’t agree with? They have bible verses to back up what they say. When I disagree they tell me I just don’t want to listen to truth.

How do I know what is my gut instinct and what is my anxiety not wanting me to do something? I am learning how to trust myself when making decisions.

My boyfriend admitted he has low EQ and he wants to grow in it, but I don’t think he knows how or where to start. How can I help and encourage him without becoming controlling or having high expectations?

How can I recognize when I’m making an assumption about someone. Especially a wrong assumption?

Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build your way to a better version of yourself. We've also got a members-only support community on the site where you can discuss what you're learning, and get support and share support along the way. It's a free two-week trial, cancel at anytime, and only $9 a month after that. https://www.boundaries.me

On this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show:

Question: Is it possible to rebuild trust with someone who has a personality disorder, like BPD, a learning disability like ADHD or some other developmental disability?

Question: As it relates to follow-through, who is the "irresponsible" one if we keep accepting checks from the repeat "bouncers?" Is it the person who accepts the check, or the person who writes the check that bounces?

Bethany's 22 year old daughter eloped. She got upset because she gave her daughter money for the wedding that never took place. She's had minimal contact with her daughter since. How can she fix this? She doesn't want this division.

Christina is engaged. How does she know if she should give up or needs to keep trying in her relationship? He's controlling, jealous and he's using religion to to control her. Is this something they can work through? 

Shirley wants to get along with a difficult son-in-law. He is always right, and always has the right answer. Things are not open for discussion. How can she get along with a person like this?

Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build your way to a better version of yourself. We've also got a members-only support community on the site where you can discuss what you're learning, and get support and share support along the way. It's a free two-week trial, cancel at anytime, and only $9 a month after that. https://www.boundaries.me

On this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show:

Question: What's the best way to change the narrative with a person who disguises control and manipulation as helpfulness and advice? I've run out of ways to say "no thanks!" and they won't stop!

Sarah has been processing her codependent ways and making real progress. How do can she get back to a "baseline" and what does that look like ? How can she become a healthy giver without reverting to her codependent tendencies?

Rebecca is a career teacher and is exhausted. She doesn't know whether she can commit two more years to teaching, or whether to just retire and wait tables at a restaurant. How can she delegate some work at home to ease her burnout?

Lynn is stuck. She's having unresolved conflicts with her husband about multiple viewpoints on issues. When she tries to work through it, he just chalks it up to having different perspectives. How do they come to an agreement and not leave things unresolved?

Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build your way to a better version of yourself. We've also got a members-only support community on the site where you can discuss what you're learning, and get support and share support along the way. It's a free two-week trial, cancel at anytime, and only $9 a month after that. https://www.boundaries.me

On this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show:

Question: Could you explain cognitive dissonance?

Question: What is protective structure?

Marie isn't sure if she's enabling her brother. He's living out of a van but he's got a job. What plan could she put into place to assist him without creating dependency?

Kris's family of origin has trouble controlling their anger. The blow up all the time. She's forgiven them but it keeps happening. How can she deal with them in a positive manner when tempers flare? She wants to respond rather than react to their outbursts.

Question: How do you best confront someone who gets very easily offended and defensive? They then use multiple techniques to avoid the issue and get you off track in the conversation so you never get things solved.

Question: I need to get over my fears and my racing heart. I overthink when I need to discuss something with my husband, whether it's about a lie, or if I need to tell him about my daughter's problems. What is the best way to get over this?

Mariana has mom that keeps overstepping with advice about to parent her kids. How can she set a boundary with her mom about unsolicited advice? Whenever she confronts her, her mom stonewalls her.

Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build your way to a better version of yourself. We've also got a members-only support community on the site where you can discuss what you're learning, and get support and share support along the way. It's a free two-week trial, cancel at anytime, and only $9 a month after that. https://www.boundaries.me

On this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show:

Julie's family left their church a year ago and started attending a new church remotely. They're ready to start attending a church locally but don't know what they're looking for. How do they start their search?

Question: If triangulation is an issue in my family of origin, how do I resolve it? I am the one everyone talks about. What do I do?

Question: Is couples therapy considered Triangulation?

Cindy has a triangulation question. She has a family business with her husband and son. She's constantly playing the mediator in their disputes. How can she get out of this role?

Question: What do you know about people that smoke marijuana--mentally, physically and emotionally? Some friends and family think it doesn't bother them in anyway.

Claire is a youth pastor. She's been setting boundaries and making new friends. Her new friends keep pressuring her into drinking and she keeps saying no, but they won't listen. What can she do next?

Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build your way to a better version of yourself. We've also got a members-only support community on the site where you can discuss what you're learning, and get support and share support along the way. It's a free two-week trial, cancel at anytime, and only $9 a month after that. https://www.boundaries.me