Real vs. Fake Apologies: 8 Red Flags

How do you know if an apology is truly sincere? In this episode, Matt and Erin walk through practical ways to evaluate an apology and respond in a way that protects the relationship and your peace.

What you’ll learn
• The difference between “I’m sorry” and sincere contrition
• 8 signs to watch for:
      1.Convenient timing (ulterior motives)
      2.Vague language (no specific action owned)
      3.Defensive tone or anger
      4.Over-explaining to self-justify
      5.Minimizing your hurt (“it’s not a big deal”)
      6.Blame-shifting (“sorry you were offended”)
      7.Sorry about consequences, not the harm
      8.No follow-through—or pressuring you to “get over it”
• How temperament and ignorance vs. contrition affect sincerity
• Mercy without enabling: requests, boundaries, and next steps
• Simple questions that draw out sincerity:
   - “What exactly are you sorry for?”
   - “How do you wish you’d acted?”
   - “What will you do differently next time?”

Key idea: Be a model of mercy while staying in your locus of control. You can forgive, ask for clarity, and set timelines for rebuilding trust—without accepting manipulation.

Related episode: How to Make a Sincere Apology (pairs perfectly with this one)

If this helped, share it with someone who needs a clear, faith-rooted framework for reconciliation.

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How to Make a Sincere Apology | 5 Steps to Real Reconciliation

Want to apologize in a way that actually restores trust? In this episode of the Catholic Coaching Podcast, Matt and Erin break down how to make a sincere apology—what to do internally before you speak, what to say (and not say), and how to detach from the other person’s response while still moving toward reconciliation.

What you’ll learn
• The difference between saying “sorry” and offering a sincere apology
• 3 common mindset traps:
      - “If I apologize, they’ll feel justified”
      - “They started it—so they should go first”
      - “What if they don’t accept my apology?”
• The 5-step framework for real reconciliation:
   1. Forgive first (release the anger)
   2. Own your fault (no blaming, no generalities)
   3. Detach from their response (stay in your lane)
   4. State how you’ll act in the future (your repair plan)
   5. Apologize—clearly, briefly, without expectations
• How to model repentance as a spouse, parent, friend, or leader— 
   without enabling

If this helped you, share it with someone who could use a simple, faithful path to peace.

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Overcome Loneliness by Focusing Outside of Yourself

In this episode of the Catholic Coaching Podcast (Ep. 267), Matt and Erin revisit the growing epidemic of loneliness—especially among Gen Z—and explore how the simple but powerful skill of active listening can be a true antidote.

Unlike surface-level interactions, deep listening creates meaningful connection, reduces social anxiety, and helps people feel seen, known, and loved. You’ll discover:
•What loneliness really is (and isn’t).
•Why our longing points ultimately to God.
•How active listening transforms both the speaker and the listener.
•A simple tool called the Spotlight Effect you can apply right away.

This conversation blends psychology, theology, and practical coaching tools to help you cultivate deeper connections in your family, friendships, ministry, or workplace.

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How do you discern a risky leap from stable ministry to mission entrepreneurship—and keep your marriage unified while you do it?

In this episode, Matt Ingold talks with Nick & Teresa Redd about founding The Freedom Group (helping men get free from porn and reclaim purpose), praying and planning through pivots, fundraising and finances, and practicing unity-in-action as a “couple on mission.” We also hit practical mindset tools from Catholic coaching, why “premature deployment” (with prudence) matters, and how hope turns vision into reality.

What you’ll learn
• A simple framework for unity in marriage during big decisions
• Why hope + action beats perfectionism when starting an apostolate
• Coaching insights for breaking porn habits (pain as path, discomfort as 
   teacher)
• Discernment: letting God provide after the jump (and how to check for       the parachute)
• Motherhood, identity, and ditching the “I’m not allowed” voice

Connect with today’s guests
• The Freedom Group (assessment + free “Rewire Your Brain” course): 
  thefreedomgroup.co
• Nick: [email protected]
• Teresa (coaching for moms): [email protected]

If you’re curious about Catholic coaching or our certification, check out Metanoia Catholic and subscribe for more conversations on mindset, mission, and sanctity.

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How do you forgive when everything in you wants to hold on?

In this episode, Matt and Erin close out our series on anger and sorrow in the wake of Charlie Kirk’s assassination by tackling forgiveness—what it is, what it isn’t, and how to choose it when it feels impossible. Drawing on Scripture, Aquinas, coaching experience, and neuroscience, we show why unforgiveness keeps you in bondage (and in brain “threat mode”) while forgiveness frees the heart, sharpens the mind, and breaks cycles of violence.

In this episode you’ll learn:
•  The real definition of forgiveness (act of the will, not a feeling)
•  Why forgiving does not mean condoning, forgetting, or instant     
   reconciliation
•  How forgiveness calms stress circuits and restores clarity/self-control
•  10 common lies that block forgiveness—and the truth that breaks them
•  A simple 3-step path: Name the offense → Process with Jesus → Choose 
   to forgive (again if needed)

Next steps
•  Grow these skills in our Mission Coach Training (quarterly cohorts)
•. Explore Academy studies: Become (identity in Christ) & Ignite (discipleship 
   tools)
•  Bring Metanoia Catholic to your parish/campus: 
   [email protected]
   More: https://www.metanoiacatholic.com

Send us a text

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Sorrow isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.
In this episode, Matt and Erin explore how to process sorrow in a virtuous, Christ-centered way in the wake of a widely publicized tragedy. Building on last week’s conversation about anger, they turn to Aquinas, pastoral experience, and practical tools so you can feel sorrow rightly—without numbing out or falling into despair.

What you’ll learn
 • What sorrow is (Aquinas) and why it’s morally neutral but must be
                guided by reason/charity
 • The difference between deficient, excessive, and virtuous sorrow
 • A 6-step process to move from paralysis to prayerful action and
                compassion
 • How to unite sorrow to Christ (“Jesus wept”) and offer it for others—
                without losing hope

Try this today: 
Identify one specific cause of sadness, rate its intensity, and ask: Is this moving me toward prayer, mercy, or constructive action? If not, apply the steps to re-order love and re-engage.

Grow these skills:
 • Mission Coach Training (quarterly cohorts)
 • Academy studies: Become (identity in Christ) & Ignite (deeper
                discipleship tools)

Send us a text

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This interactive journal will help you transform your life from the inside out by teaching you how to grow in gratitude, set healthy goals, and gain mastery over your thoughts.

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In this special episode of the Catholic Coaching Podcast, Matt and Erin take on the emotion dominating hearts after the assassination of Charlie Kirk: anger. Is it wrong to feel angry? How do you know if your anger is righteous, vicious, or deficient? Drawing on Aquinas, pastoral wisdom, and lived experience, this episode helps you discern anger as a morally neutral emotion that can lead either to sin or to zeal.

What we cover
•Anger in light of Charlie Kirk’s death: is it appropriate?
•Aquinas on anger: sorrow + hope + perceived injustice
•Deficient anger vs. excessive anger vs. righteous anger
•Real-life examples (parenting, media, leadership, forgiveness)
•A 6-step process to move from vicious anger to zeal
•Why prayer, reflection, and forgiveness are essential

By the end, you’ll have tools to name your anger, check its proportion, pause before reacting, and channel it toward justice and restoration.

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Are the “small” lies we accept actually steering our lives? In this episode, Matt & Erin Ingold map out a practical taxonomy of lies—from subtle errors and misinterpretations to omission and full-on falsification—and show how these distortions quietly shape prayer, relationships, and mindset. You’ll get concrete self-coaching questions to test your thoughts, spot cognitive distortions (minimization/maximization), and bring everything back to facts, truth, and mercy. Distinctively Catholic, the episode pairs mindset tools with conscience formation, prayer, and Confession so you can replace lies with reality and live in freedom.

What you’ll learn

• A clear working definition of “lie” (and why partial untruths still wound)
• The 3 tiers: least malicious → mid-level → most malicious
• How to spot error, misinterpretation, white lies, minimization, exaggeration
• Denial, “lies of influence,” and omission—why they’re more serious
• Falsification, bold-faced lies, fabrication, and pathological lying—why to avoid entirely
• Self-coaching prompts to challenge thoughts with charity and truth
• The Catholic path: steward your intellect, seek mercy, repent, and receive healing truth

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This interactive journal will help you transform your life from the inside out by teaching you how to grow in gratitude, set healthy goals, and gain mastery over your thoughts.

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Can you really tell when someone isn’t telling the truth? 🤔 In this episode of the Catholic Coaching Podcast, Matt and Erin unpack the Signs of a Lie—the subtle verbal cues that reveal when someone might be hiding the truth.

We explore:
✅ Inconsistencies and evasive answers
✅ Overly detailed stories that avoid the point
✅ Hesitations, filler words, and cognitive overload
✅ Emotional “leakage” like mismatched tone or nervous laughter
✅ Psychological distancing (“that woman…”, passive voice, fading facts)
✅ Defensive language, scripted responses, and over-protesting

Through famous examples (Clinton, Nixon, Amber Heard) and everyday scenarios (coaching, parenting, relationships, media), you’ll learn how to spot clusters of deception cues while staying compassionate and curious—not judgmental.

Send us a text

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This interactive journal will help you transform your life from the inside out by teaching you how to grow in gratitude, set healthy goals, and gain mastery over your thoughts.

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Ever wonder if someone is lying to you—or if you’ve been believing lies yourself? In this episode of the Catholic Coaching Podcast, Matt & Erin break down the 3 different types of lies and how they show up in everyday life. From small “errors” and white lies, to subtle denials and omissions, all the way to bold-faced fabrications, you’ll discover how to spot them—and why they matter for your mindset, relationships, and spiritual life.

You’ll learn:
✅ How to recognize the least malicious lies (like errors, misinterpretations, white lies)
✅ The mid-level lies that damage trust (denial, lies of influence, omission)
✅ The most malicious lies (falsification, bold-faced lies, pathological lying)
✅ Simple self-coaching questions to test a thought or statement against truth
✅ Why mercy, confession, and prayer are essential to overcoming deception

Whether you’re trying to better understand yourself, strengthen your relationships, or grow in discernment, this episode gives you a clear framework for identifying lies—and replacing them with truth.

Send us a text

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This interactive journal will help you transform your life from the inside out by teaching you how to grow in gratitude, set healthy goals, and gain mastery over your thoughts.

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