Difficult Relationships - Christian Wisdom for Life's Toughest Ties

The 'Christian' Covert Narcissist


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There is a type of narcissist that is the worst of them all—the type of person Jesus warned of when he said beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing (Matthew 7:15).

 This narcissist sneaks in undetected and infects your life in ways you couldn’t even imagine.

 When we think of the grandaddy of all narcissists, we usually think of the highly abusive, malignant narcissist. But it doesn’t take a discerning eye to spot this narcissist from a mile away.

 The narcissist I’m talking about today, flies under the radar and even comes across to many as sweet, caring, easy going, and nice. But beneath that erroneous exterior, you're dealing with a self-centered, egotistical, self-righteous, entitled brat.

 You may be saying, Kris that sounds a lot like the covert narcissist. Andd you’d be right, but there’s a tiny element that you’re missing.

 This isn’t just the convert naricsisst, this is the ‘Christian’ covert narcissist.

 This is the narcissist that knows all the right words to say. They’ve learned the lingo—maybe they even learned it from you—but they are anything but true followers of Jesus. In fact, many of them are wolves in sheep’s clothing.

 So in today’s video I want to give you insight into their behavior and help you to follow the biblical mandate found in Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life.”

 So let’s talk about 8 contradicting characteristics of the Christian covert narcissist.

 Contradiction #1: Sweet on the outside, shallow on this inside

Two opposing flavors may work well for candy bars, but not for healthy relationships. 

The Christian covert comes across like she/he cares, but it’s a facade, and an overly exaggerated one at that. They have to ‘sell’ you because they know that if you lift up the hood, you’ll see there’s no depth. A few minutes of genuine conversation and you’ll see you can’t swim in those shallow waters. But if you are the type to hang out on the shoreline, you may not spot this person easily.

 Contradiction #2: Uses vulnerability to manipulate

Have you ever had compassion for someone, only to later to feel bamboozled? You can’t quite put your finger on it, but something about your care for them made you feel uneasy. Maybe they cried the financial blues when it came time to pay the bill, but you found out later that they really didn’t need you to take them out to dinner.

  Or maybe they convince you do something for them that you later learn they could have and should have done for themselves. Covert Christian narcissists love to play the victim in need.   

 Contradiction #3: Nice, but not kind

‘Nice’ by definition means pleasant and agreeable—two characteristics that can easily be faked. Nice is shallow, while kind is self sacrificing.

 The Christian covert narcissist is not genuine. That’s why they erect a ‘nice’ image. Because they care more about how they appear than how they really are.

 Contradiction #4: Quotes scripture, but is biblically illiterate

Christian covert narcissists know enough scripture to be dangerous. If they lie and twist their words and yours, why wouldn’t they do it to God’s Word?

 Be sure to know God’s truth for yourself, as one of the enemy’s favorite tactics is to confuse you with lies that are founded and grounded in SOME truth. That’s what makes this narcissist so dangerous, they know enough of God’s truth to twist it.

 Contradiction #5: Says one thing, but does another

The Christian covert narcissist takes hypocrisy to new heights. I hate to imagine how many people they’ve turned off to Christ with their two-

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Difficult Relationships - Christian Wisdom for Life's Toughest TiesBy Kris Reece Ministries

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