The Complete Disaster Podcast

If you want to watch Minnesota sports, prepare to jump through some hoops. You can watch them some places out of state, some places in state, and none of them are cheap. Also every team has their own special place, all with a different monthly fee of course. Now if you want to watch the same Disney movies over and over, you're in luck. Pick a movie, wait a week, and they'll remake it.

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Have you ever wanted to suddenly become very tall, like in the hit film Like Mike? Well before you rub that magic lamp, think twice. Sure, you might get a deal with the NBA, but getting into small cars already sucks. Do you really want to be even more uncomfortable on road trips? Plus if it's a Tesla someone's going to throw a molotov at you, and if you're very tall you might get hit right in the face. Talk about a bad day.

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If you think about it, shooting a sex scene is weird. If you actually get into it, then that's wrong, because it's supposed to be pretend. But you have to seem like you're into it, and you have to be convincing enough to fool an audience. But you can't be too convincing, because then people might think you're a pervert. That's why instead of the wide world of intimacy coordination, Cassie chose to get into something simpler, like analyzing cases where ghosts produced evidence in their own murder trials.

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Those Libertarians have some pretty wacky ideas. Drug store heroin. Personal nukes. Smaller government. Okay, some of their ideas are pretty good. That's all Mary was saying.

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If you've listened to our show for any length of time, you've heard us talk about Acme. It's a mysterious place. Or at least it was, until Patrick wrote a book about it called Home Club. Learn everything you ever wanted to know about Acme, then go break and arrow on your neck. If Mike Bryant can do it, so can you.

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A new record has been broken after over 80 years: the longest Oscars acceptance speech ever. He wasn't exactly polite about it either. Nor was Walz polite about apparently being too scary for Republicans to handle. I guess that's part of what makes him so intimidating. That and his skills at auto repair. Very scary stuff.

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In a stunning upset, Costaki made a surprise appearance on the show today to talk about how much money sports teams are worth. It's quite a bit, if you weren't aware. Even the least valuable ones are still nearing the billion dollar mark. The only other easy way to make that much money is to defraud the Minnesota government, and even then you might end up facing consequences eventually. Maybe.

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Swatting continues to be the topic of the month, and we happen to have a regular who got sent out on a couple of them. Hear the story from the other side. He's almost as unhappy about it as the victims are. And both are almost as unhappy about being swatted as they are being beholden to Minnesota sports.

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What was the first good scripted TV show? The answer just might be I Love Lucy. That was 74 years ago, which is a very long time for those of you keeping track. 3/4ths of a century of television out to keep you occupied for a couple lifetimes. And speaking of a century, the Twins are coming up on 125 years, only a couple of them which were actually good.

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Swatting is all the rage these days. If you haven't heard of it, it's basically tricking the cops into maybe shooting someone. Fun, right? If that sounds a little intense to you, why not try a cruise instead? It takes something like seven years to sail the seas out to Hawaii, so you'll have plenty of time to relax. Plus the SWAT teams can't reach you in international waters.

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