The Complete Disaster Podcast

They say art is subjective. That's wrong. Sometimes, art is simply bad. The new MLB hats are a great example of that. They're ugly, they make no sense, and surprisingly frequently, they're profane. That's why you should buy one of our hats instead. No profanity to be found.

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Dental surgery is no fun at all. You can't talk, you can't chew, and you don't even get to sleep through it like regular surgery. Although with all the new TV shows everyone is watching, you might not want to sleep anyway. Especially with Kristyn's mysterious debut on ABC news.

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What makes someone royalty? Calling themselves so and being uncontested, that's what. That's why we're all kings, queens, dukes, and maybe a count here and there. Unfortunately our studio isn't very much territory, so the king of England and his new podcast have us beat in terms of sheer royal-ness.

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A case of hantavirus. A rap about monkeys. Nerve damage. Today is nothing if packed with intrigue. And if that's not enough, an NFL player is making poverty wages. Well, okay, he's making over a million a year, but still.

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Football season is over, which means Costaki is free to roam the land once more. This week he's roaming his way up to Minnesota at Acme and making a pit stop in studio to visit us. Tom and Kathryn aren't here in person, continuing a 12 year tradition of Costaki rarely, if ever, meeting them face to face.

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Get off social media. Well, wait, hold on. Stay on social media, but only to check for updates on our page. Aside from that, you don't need it. It's addictive, it's stressful, and do you really care when someone you haven't seen since high school goes to Europe? Be honest.

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Back in the forgotten year of 2011, Big Jay and Dave started a podcast called Legion of Skanks. And wouldn't you know it, it's still going. Sometimes a podcast is just so good it lasts forever. Of course, we credit ourselves for its longevity by having them on our show, boosting their popularity through the roof. Yeah, that's gotta be it.

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You've maybe bought Flamin' Hot Cheetos. But have you bought Cheetos the breathe fire hot enough to melt boulders? If so, head over to Kinko's and get that thing laminated, because you've got a real treasure on your hands.

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Bob can make some noise. Is it any wonder his wife of decades can rise to the occasion? This is especially true when a certain someone can't get his camera looking as nice and clean as Mary's. Also on the docket, they managed to do a whole Oscars show without bringing up Trump once. A good omen? We sure hope so. I guess we'll find out in a year.

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The thing about being a radio legend (Paul's words, not ours) is if you have bad taste in movies, you're still fair game. Although to Tom's credit, at least he knows who Gene Hackman is. The same cannot be said for everyone in studio.

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