The Conditional Release Program

The Two Jacks look at the impact indepdents will have on the election.

At the very last minute a bunch of cookers hit the shopping centres and got the signatures they need to place their name on the ballot paper. They were all fixated on the draw, hoping to get a top spot and score some donkey votes. Didn't really happen though, with most of them winding up around the middle and Monica/Morgan getting the covered R spot on the senate ticket. Oh dear.

Todd Sampson platforms nazis and we wonder - is this an intentional act of stupidity, or a blunder? Feels intentional.

We look at the scourge of snake venom in the water supply and consider whether being a hybrid of satan is such a bad thing after all.

Rod Culleton is back in Sovcits V. The Man and his score has not increased.

Pete has a huge week putting his two cents in on his telegram group. Spoiler alert - it's neither funny nor clever.

Enjoy!

PS here's Tom Tanuki's IA article mentioned in the Sampson bit.

https://independentaustralia.net/politics/politics-display/why-i-turned-down-sampson-doco-after-he-enabled-neo-nazis,16289

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The Two Jacks examine the first week in the campaign. Who won, who l;opst and does it matter at this early stage. HK Jack issues his list of Things Labor should not be talking about. 

Happy Easter listners! I celebrated Easter Monday by day drinking and then recording a podcast - but thanks to the magic of audio editing, you can barely tell! Not many tin cracks this week folks, I came into this one hot.

Despite this severe handicap we managed to cover the claims of election fraud from cookers and their dopey plans to use stat decs to prove it. What?

Elon Musk is playing sillybuggers with the SEC and getting called out for it.

In the rabbithole we look at the independents that are going to properly shake up this election. Some of them look like they are in for a chance in some of the safest liberal party seats in the country. And as Zali Steggall showed us, once they have them it's bloody hard to get them back.

Oh yeah and Pete falls off his lawnmower.

Enjoy!

Polling, gotcha moments and where the election will be won and lost. Will climate change be a vote determinant? The answer is yes but it may come with big scary problems for Labor as well as the Libs under attack in blue ribbons seats from the Climate 200 Indies. HK Jack and Jack the Insider offer their tips almost six weeks out while JTI talks about when campaign stunts go horribly wrong as he remembers the Labor MP Peter Knott, who became known to Paul Keating as the C*** from the Pie Shop. 

The election has been called! Scotty From Marketing has dragged this out as long as he can and we are in for a six week election campagin. Torture!

In the news we have Craig Kelly getting egged and Tucker Carlson encourages American dads to beat up their kids teachers. I wish I was kidding.

For the rabbit hole this week we look at the impending election and Jack does his thing and tells us where the polls are at. Early days but it's gonna be an interesting contest. We laugh at the idea of Monica Smit teaching anyone about anything with her dopey five day course on how to vote. Well done Monica. All 50 attendees would have loved it.

Then we look at the parallel election planned by cookers to restore the great seal and take back the country so they can, uhh, I don't know? Hang everyone?

Pete has a big week of disinformation and has a big sook about disinformation. Hey Pete - if you want people to stop talking about disinformation how about you stop spreading it you dope.

Enjoy!

Hard Hats and Hi Viz reviews the state of play as we begin, the polling, the electoral pendulum, the betting markets. We have some internal polling from the climate independents challenging in blue ribbon Liberal seats showing Frydenberg in trouble in Kooyong and in a bolt out of the blue, Mackellar, there may be a boilover in the bluest of the blue Liberal seats. 

Hey guys! It's just me Lance again.

This week we finally get Lance back on to have a chat, but this week we look at his past to see what he got upto in his mischievous years that saw him get trouble written on his tum tums.

In the news we have the ugly contrast of voter fraud in the US - a mistake by a black woman and a blatant flaunting of the rules by a rich white couple. Can you guess who got in trouble? Jack puts his polyethelene where his mouth is and promises to eat a stubby holder if the white guys get locked up. BUT ONLY FOR PATRONS (please give us money).

We have a couple of retractions to make and we also make a note of the awful passing of Taylor Hawkins and the shitty antivax takes on his death. We figure this is going to happen to every public figure from here until forever so we are making a general rule not to cover these dopey theories (unless they are very funny).

And, of course, we check in on the cookers in Canberra and have a little laugh at their misfortune and bad behaviour. This week it's been Cooker vs. Bus.

Bus 2 - Cookers 0.

Pete has a big week catching up on his passion - womens sports - and shares his thoughts on trans athletes. What a great guy he is. Love and light!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST! We forgot to mention this last week because we are old and full of dementia but Ash Jackson is ALMOST ACROSS THE LINE for the fundraiser. Why am I yelling? BECAUSE SHE DESERVES SOME HELP!

Transphobic attacks are bullshit and we gotta protect our own. To those that have donated - thank you so much. But if you haven't - chuck in a fiver and get us over that line - it will feel good as it whooshes past!

This week we jump down the rabbit hole into the pilled takes on Ukraine being spread by the Russians, the Chinese and pilled right wing media types who will literally side with a dictator over agreeing with Joe Biden. Sad!

In the news we have a look at the thumping Labor victory in South Australia and the rumblings of election fraud we all saw coming and laugh at the terrible result of 'the freedom vote'.

Bosi is Bosi this week suggesting that laws are enacted that enable people to fuck, kill and eat babies because Bosi has a sick mind that think about fucking, killing and eating babies. Come on man. Don't do that. We also look at other silly shit the movement has been upto this week. GO HOME!

And human thumb Tom Barnett tries to sue news corp for Jane Hansen using the name Isabel Lucas in a news story. He actually trademarked her name. Astonishing(ly stupid).

Pete has a huge week of regret and cries into his keto friendly soup while screaming into the void 'but the ukrainians are nazis too' and all he hears back is the empty sound of sadness.

Enjoy!

Yep - move over Didge it's MonMon's turn to make a random list of impractical demands! Here we have 'the people's declaration' which, according to Monica, "we can all agree on".

Yeah, except for the fact that most of it (not all of it, to be fair) is incredible vague, stupid and often impossible.

Still, we love a good list and this one's a cracker. 

Will it work? No. 

Is it clever? No. 

Is it funny? Kinda? 

God help us if any of these people ever get elected.