The Cracked Podcast

All the hip young kids are using a thing called the internet these days. In fact, if you're reading this summary or listening to this episode, odds are you're using the internet right now. But what if it all just went away? No podcasts, no turn-by-turn directions, no swiping for romantic partners, hell, most of us wouldn't even have jobs if there were no internet (see: everyone at Cracked).

It's an interesting thought experiment to...think about...and experiment on. What would you do for a living; how would you get by day-to-day without the comfort, the convenience, the necessity of the internet?

Alex Schmidt and Kristi Harrison ask the Cracked staff that very question in this episode. They chat with Abe Epperson, Tom Reimann, Ann Smiley, Saundra Sorenson and Brett Rader about the unthinkable--how could we live 21st century life without the internet?

East Coast! The Cracked Podcast is coming to you! The Cracked Podcast will be a part of the Now Hear This podcast festival in New York, taking place September 8th-10th. For $20 off your ticket, head to NowHearThisFest.com and enter code 'CRACKED' at checkout.

Guys. Gals. Aliens. Did you miss the premiere of Cracked's newest podcast, Cracked Movie Club? Don't worry. There's plenty of time to catch up. Hosts Tom Reimann and Abe Epperson feature a new director each month as they do a deep into four of the director's films with jokes, insane behind-the-scene stories and crazy fan theories. And July is devoted to none other than Steven Spielberg.

Listen to their episode about Raiders of the Lost Ark here: https://goo.gl/ygBfW1

Listen to their episode about Jurassic Park here: https://goo.gl/FK9gV4

And to hear the newest episode each and every Thursday, search for Cracked Movie Club in your podcast app of choice or click here to find it on Apple Podcasts: https://goo.gl/fQ2o72

Footnotes:

Data: Pew Research: Internet/Broadband Fact Sheet: https://goo.gl/zc7G2e

Article: Pew Research: How US Tech-Sector Jobs Have Grown, Changed In 15 Years: https://goo.gl/KfE5sx

Data: TechCrunch: Unicorn Leaderboard: https://goo.gl/QhMzds

Article: Mashable: Twitter's Massive 2008: https://goo.gl/64sLFp

Book: Seneca: On The Shortness Of Life: https://goo.gl/sRJS3c

Article: MIT Technology Review: First Object Teleported From Earth To Orbit: https://goo.gl/dvhKiq

Article: New York Times: ‘Manspreading’ on New York Subways Is Target of New M.T.A. Campaign: https://goo.gl/BkS5r2

Starting today, Cracked is increasing its podcasting output by 50%! In addition to new episodes of The Cracked Podcast every Monday and Kurt Vonneguys every third Tuesday, we're proud to launch Cracked Movie Club, which can be beamed directly into your earballs every Thursday.

Each month, your hosts Tom Reimann and Abe Epperson are choosing a new director and doing deep-dives into four of their films with some of your favorite comedians, writers and Cracked personalities. First director: Steven Spielberg.

To celebrate the launch, Cracked Movie Club is taking over The Cracked Podcast feed for the day so you can hear the inaugural episode. Tom and Abe are joined by comedian Daniel Van Kirk as they discuss how poisonous snakes, punishing desert sands, an outbreak of what can only be considered a modern plague, and a grown man pooping his pants all came together to create Raiders of the Lost Ark. Along the way, they question whether Jones was ultimately a better name than Smith, the logistics of maintaining a puzzle tomb in the middle of a jungle, and whether a certain Disney prince made a depressing cameo appearance.

And if one episode wasn't enough for you, chaos theory is working in your favor, because episode two is available right now. Grab some fossilized mosquitos, a tub of ice cream and strap yourself in with the two female ends of a seatbelt, because Tom, Abe and Cracked's David Christopher Bell dissect Spielberg's 1993 hit, Jurassic Park.

To hear episode two and get episode three the day it comes out, subscribe by searching for Cracked Movie Club on your podcast app of choice or clicking here to find it on Apple Podcasts: https://goo.gl/fQ2o72

Starting today, Cracked is increasing its podcasting output by 50%! In addition to new episodes of The Cracked Podcast every Monday and Kurt Vonneguys every third Tuesday, we're proud to launch Cracked Movie Club, which can be beamed directly into your earballs every Thursday.

Each month, your hosts Tom Reimann and Abe Epperson are choosing a new director and doing deep-dives into four of their films with some of your favorite comedians, writers and Cracked personalities. First director: Steven Spielberg.

To celebrate the launch, Cracked Movie Club is taking over The Cracked Podcast feed for the day so you can hear the inaugural episode. Tom and Abe are joined by comedian Daniel Van Kirk as they discuss how poisonous snakes, punishing desert sands, an outbreak of what can only be considered a modern plague, and a grown man pooping his pants all came together to create Raiders of the Lost Ark. Along the way, they question whether Jones was ultimately a better name than Smith, the logistics of maintaining a puzzle tomb in the middle of a jungle, and whether a certain Disney prince made a depressing cameo appearance.

And if one episode wasn't enough for you, chaos theory is working in your favor, because episode two is available right now. Grab some fossilized mosquitos, a tub of ice cream and strap yourself in with the two female ends of a seatbelt, because Tom, Abe and Cracked's David Christopher Bell dissect Spielberg's 1993 hit, Jurassic Park.

To hear episode two and get episode three the day it comes out, subscribe by searching for Cracked Movie Club on your podcast app of choice or clicking here to find it on Apple Podcasts: https://goo.gl/fQ2o72

Big cardboard cutouts in movie theater lobbies. Promotional cups at fast food restaurants. Kickass soundtracks featuring Seal. These things were once not part of our summer movie lexicon. And in the case of the tie-in song from Seal, they sadly haven't been for about twenty years.

Somewhere between the release of Jaws in 1975 and the mid-80s, the summer movie became it's own genre. Not specifically action, horror, sci-fi or comedy, it can't be placed into it's own single category, but much like the Supreme Court's views on pornography, you know it when you see it. There are certain movies like Jurassic Park, E.T., and even Guardians of the Galaxy, where they just make you feel like summer.

So, in anticipation of the launch of Cracked's new podcast, Cracked Movie Club, Alex Schmidt is welcoming on the show's two hosts, Tom Reimann and Abe Epperson for an ode to the summer movie. They trace the summer movie's origins in the seventies through to the state of the summer movie today, and then crown one film the best summer movie of all time.

To subscribe to Cracked Movie Club and get the first two episodes when they premiere on July 13th, search for it in your podcast app of choice or click here to subscribe on Apple Podcasts: https://goo.gl/fQ2o72

East Coast! The Cracked Podcast is coming to you! The Cracked Podcast will be a part of the Now Hear This podcast festival in New York, taking place September 8th-10th. For $20 off your ticket, head to NowHearThisFest.com and enter code 'CRACKED' at checkout.

Footnotes:

Video: Cracked: How An Indiana Jones Action Figure Created The PG-13 Rating: https://goo.gl/6E5xid

Documentary: Empire of Dreams: https://goo.gl/gTYC2X

Image: Alien poster: https://goo.gl/MGh0dx

Video: Alien trailer: https://goo.gl/MUNvkm

Image: Star Wars poster: https://goo.gl/HWqDfy

Image: Raiders of the Lost Ark poster: https://goo.gl/HJqNyU

Image: E.T. poster: https://goo.gl/nVZH7x

Image: Enemy Mine poster: https://goo.gl/yycWvK

Video: Seal, "Kiss From A Rose": https://goo.gl/w8JLhF

Video: Transformers - Age of Extinction: Romeo & Juliet Law scene: https://goo.gl/KDrvu7

Big cardboard cutouts in movie theater lobbies. Promotional cups at fast food restaurants. Kickass soundtracks featuring Seal. These things were once not part of our summer movie lexicon. And in the case of the tie-in song from Seal, they sadly haven't been for about twenty years.

Somewhere between the release of Jaws in 1975 and the mid-80s, the summer movie became it's own genre. Not specifically action, horror, sci-fi or comedy, it can't be placed into it's own single category, but much like the Supreme Court's views on pornography, you know it when you see it. There are certain movies like Jurassic Park, E.T., and even Guardians of the Galaxy, where they just make you feel like summer.

So, in anticipation of the launch of Cracked's new podcast, Cracked Movie Club, Alex Schmidt is welcoming on the show's two hosts, Tom Reimann and Abe Epperson for an ode to the summer movie. They trace the summer movie's origins in the seventies through to the state of the summer movie today, and then crown one film the best summer movie of all time.

To subscribe to Cracked Movie Club and get the first two episodes when they premiere on July 13th, search for it in your podcast app of choice or click here to subscribe on Apple Podcasts: https://goo.gl/fQ2o72

East Coast! The Cracked Podcast is coming to you! The Cracked Podcast will be a part of the Now Hear This podcast festival in New York, taking place September 8th-10th. For $20 off your ticket, head to NowHearThisFest.com and enter code 'CRACKED' at checkout.

Footnotes:

Video: Cracked: How An Indiana Jones Action Figure Created The PG-13 Rating: https://goo.gl/6E5xid

Documentary: Empire of Dreams: https://goo.gl/gTYC2X

Image: Alien poster: https://goo.gl/MGh0dx

Video: Alien trailer: https://goo.gl/MUNvkm

Image: Star Wars poster: https://goo.gl/HWqDfy

Image: Raiders of the Lost Ark poster: https://goo.gl/HJqNyU

Image: E.T. poster: https://goo.gl/nVZH7x

Image: Enemy Mine poster: https://goo.gl/yycWvK

Video: Seal, "Kiss From A Rose": https://goo.gl/w8JLhF

Video: Transformers - Age of Extinction: Romeo & Juliet Law scene: https://goo.gl/KDrvu7

For many people, filmmaking begins and ends with the director. We call it a director's medium. It's their vision that guides the entire production and it's their name that gets the praise when a movie is good, and gets dragged through the mud when a movie stinks. While that's somewhat accurate, it's completely forgetting about the hundreds of artists, technicians, producers and craftsmen who bring equal skill to the table and without whom our favorite movies would be totally different.

Take Tim Burton, for example. His films have a "look," right? Edward Scissorhands, Pee-Wee's Great Adventure and Beetlejuice sort of exemplify Burton taking atomic age nostalgia and running it through the prism of Dr. Seuss on acid. Burton gets the credit for it, but all of those films (and a huge swath more) were art designed by the same guy, Rick Heinrichs. Without Heinrich's input, who knows what those movies would look like or if any of them would be as instantly memorable as they are now.

Alex Schimdt welcomes Michael Swaim and Matt Gourley (Superego, I Was There Too, James Bonding) to talk about people like Heinrichs. Unknown artists who have had as much of a guiding hand in modern cinema as your Spielbergs, Lucases and Scorseses, but who you've never heard of. 

And if you're in Los Angeles in July, make sure to come to our next live podcast taping. On Saturday July 8th at 7:00pm at the UCB Sunset Theatre, former zoo tour guide and current Cracked Podcast host Alex Schmidt will be joined by Cracked's Daniel O'Brien and Katie Goldin as well as comedians Caitlin Gill, Joey Clift and Matt Kirshen as they discuss snakes, hippos, octopuses and every other animal that could Planet-0f-the-Apes us if they tried. Tickets are only $7 and available here: https://goo.gl/rVhzPC

Also, make sure to subscribe to our new podcast, Cracked Movie Club! Why? Because almost every movie you love is secretly insane. Join co-hosts Tom Reimann and Abe Epperson (plus special guests) for a journey through the secrets, strangeness, and fan theories behind movies you’ll never see the same way again. And every month focuses on one director’s work, building a case for exactly why Hollywood’s greatest minds are weirder than you ever thought possible.

To get the first two episodes when they premiere on July 13th, type in, "Cracked Movie Club" into wherever you get your your podcasts or subscribe here on Apple Podcasts: https://goo.gl/fQ2o72

Footnotes:

Article: Fast Company: How Ben Burtt Designed The Sounds of Star Wars: https://goo.gl/CaLwxe

Article: io9: The Most Unforgettable Creations of HR Giger: https://goo.gl/NXD7Qt

Article: Telegraph: Ken Adam: The Man Who Drew the Cold War: 

Video: Alex McDowell Lecture on Design and Storytelling: https://goo.gl/zn3f2C

Article: Wired: After Pee Wee and 'Tonight, Tonight,' Artist Wayne White is Reborn: https://goo.gl/Yz7mTx

Video: Roger Deakins Featurette: https://goo.gl/B3bHHa

Article/Podcast: NPR: The Story Behind the Stunts: Remembering Hal Needham: https://goo.gl/h9iHp1

Article: Vice: Meet The Most Prolific Stuntman of All Time: https://goo.gl/WRVWv1

Article: Vanity Fair: Meet the Most Powerful Woman in Hollywood: https://goo.gl/MYJjMu

Article: Playbill: The Other Chenoweth: Casting Director Gives Stage Actors Their Film Careers: https://goo.gl/Vc3cES

Video: Trailer for 'Casting By': https://goo.gl/jscnYK

Article: Wired: Love Classic Star Trek? You Owe A Huge Debt To Gene L. Coon: https://goo.gl/81CEY1

Video: Godley & Creme: Cry: https://goo.gl/yNcQFk

Article: New Yorker: What Kind of A Genius is Max Martin: https://goo.gl/TQj7IU

Article: Vanity Fair: John Barry: The Man Who Knew The Score: https://goo.gl/oV7cQa

For many people, filmmaking begins and ends with the director. We call it a director's medium. It's their vision that guides the entire production and it's their name that gets the praise when a movie is good, and gets dragged through the mud when a movie stinks. While that's somewhat accurate, it's completely forgetting about the hundreds of artists, technicians, producers and craftsmen who bring equal skill to the table and without whom our favorite movies would be totally different.

Take Tim Burton, for example. His films have a "look," right? Edward Scissorhands, Pee-Wee's Great Adventure and Beetlejuice sort of exemplify Burton taking atomic age nostalgia and running it through the prism of Dr. Seuss on acid. Burton gets the credit for it, but all of those films (and a huge swath more) were art designed by the same guy, Rick Heinrichs. Without Heinrich's input, who knows what those movies would look like or if any of them would be as instantly memorable as they are now.

Alex Schimdt welcomes Michael Swaim and Matt Gourley (Superego, I Was There Too, James Bonding) to talk about people like Heinrichs. Unknown artists who have had as much of a guiding hand in modern cinema as your Spielbergs, Lucases and Scorseses, but who you've never heard of. 

And if you're in Los Angeles in July, make sure to come to our next live podcast taping. On Saturday July 8th at 7:00pm at the UCB Sunset Theatre, former zoo tour guide and current Cracked Podcast host Alex Schmidt will be joined by Cracked's Daniel O'Brien and Katie Goldin as well as comedians Caitlin Gill, Joey Clift and Matt Kirshen as they discuss snakes, hippos, octopuses and every other animal that could Planet-0f-the-Apes us if they tried. Tickets are only $7 and available here: https://goo.gl/rVhzPC

Also, make sure to subscribe to our new podcast, Cracked Movie Club! Why? Because almost every movie you love is secretly insane. Join co-hosts Tom Reimann and Abe Epperson (plus special guests) for a journey through the secrets, strangeness, and fan theories behind movies you’ll never see the same way again. And every month focuses on one director’s work, building a case for exactly why Hollywood’s greatest minds are weirder than you ever thought possible.

To get the first two episodes when they premiere on July 13th, type in, "Cracked Movie Club" into wherever you get your your podcasts or subscribe here on Apple Podcasts: https://goo.gl/fQ2o72

Footnotes:

Article: Fast Company: How Ben Burtt Designed The Sounds of Star Wars: https://goo.gl/CaLwxe

Article: io9: The Most Unforgettable Creations of HR Giger: https://goo.gl/NXD7Qt

Article: Telegraph: Ken Adam: The Man Who Drew the Cold War: 

Video: Alex McDowell Lecture on Design and Storytelling: https://goo.gl/zn3f2C

Article: Wired: After Pee Wee and 'Tonight, Tonight,' Artist Wayne White is Reborn: https://goo.gl/Yz7mTx

Video: Roger Deakins Featurette: https://goo.gl/B3bHHa

Article/Podcast: NPR: The Story Behind the Stunts: Remembering Hal Needham: https://goo.gl/h9iHp1

Article: Vice: Meet The Most Prolific Stuntman of All Time: https://goo.gl/WRVWv1

Article: Vanity Fair: Meet the Most Powerful Woman in Hollywood: https://goo.gl/MYJjMu

Article: Playbill: The Other Chenoweth: Casting Director Gives Stage Actors Their Film Careers: https://goo.gl/Vc3cES

Video: Trailer for 'Casting By': https://goo.gl/jscnYK

Article: Wired: Love Classic Star Trek? You Owe A Huge Debt To Gene L. Coon: https://goo.gl/81CEY1

Video: Godley & Creme: Cry: https://goo.gl/yNcQFk

Article: New Yorker: What Kind of A Genius is Max Martin: https://goo.gl/TQj7IU

Article: Vanity Fair: John Barry: The Man Who Knew The Score: https://goo.gl/oV7cQa

Every morning when you wake up you (probably) do the same routine. In some order, you shower, use the toilet, shave and brush your teeth. In that respect, movie characters don't seem to exist in the same universe as us. Typically we only see them there if something important is happening, like if someone is taking a shower at the Bates Motel or if Danny Glover needs to use the toilet in 'Lethal Weapon 2'.

In part-three of our special mini-series 'Looking the Part', Soren Bowie and Daniel O'Brien break down the typical bathroom tropes we see all over pop-culture, from the different varieties of the scary shower sequence, to the strange way shaving is used to show a power imbalance. They're joined by screenwriter Seth W. Owen to break-down how a writer implements these types of scenes and to discuss the crazy reason so many movies have a part where the hero washes his face and then takes a long, steely look in the mirror.

And if you missed the first two installments of 'Looking the Part', check them out by clicking the links below:

In episode 1, Soren and Daniel break down Superman's dueling haircuts and the roles of mustaches, beards and goatees in film: https://goo.gl/hwuUvB

In episode 2, Soren and Daniel discuss scars, tattoos, costumes and the most recent two Jokers: https://goo.gl/81qZk3

This episode is sponsored by Dollar Shave Club. For a limited time, new members get their 1st month along with the Executive Razor and a tube of their Dr. Carver’s Shave Butter for ONLY $5 with FREE shipping. That’s a $15 value for only $5 bucks! After that, razors are just a few bucks a month. This offer is exclusively available at DollarShaveClub.com/cracked​

Every morning when you wake up you (probably) do the same routine. In some order, you shower, use the toilet, shave and brush your teeth. In that respect, movie characters don't seem to exist in the same universe as us. Typically we only see them there if something important is happening, like if someone is taking a shower at the Bates Motel or if Danny Glover needs to use the toilet in 'Lethal Weapon 2'.

In part-three of our special mini-series 'Looking the Part', Soren Bowie and Daniel O'Brien break down the typical bathroom tropes we see all over pop-culture, from the different varieties of the scary shower sequence, to the strange way shaving is used to show a power imbalance. They're joined by screenwriter Seth W. Owen to break-down how a writer implements these types of scenes and to discuss the crazy reason so many movies have a part where the hero washes his face and then takes a long, steely look in the mirror.

And if you missed the first two installments of 'Looking the Part', check them out by clicking the links below:

In episode 1, Soren and Daniel break down Superman's dueling haircuts and the roles of mustaches, beards and goatees in film: https://goo.gl/hwuUvB

In episode 2, Soren and Daniel discuss scars, tattoos, costumes and the most recent two Jokers: https://goo.gl/81qZk3

This episode is sponsored by Dollar Shave Club. For a limited time, new members get their 1st month along with the Executive Razor and a tube of their Dr. Carver’s Shave Butter for ONLY $5 with FREE shipping. That’s a $15 value for only $5 bucks! After that, razors are just a few bucks a month. This offer is exclusively available at DollarShaveClub.com/cracked​

Believe it or not, the idea of the summer break wasn't invented until very recently. Before kids got the summer off, school basically was the break from months of grueling farm work or any of the other countless horrors we subjected children to before modern labor laws. As people moved out of farming jobs into the cities and modes of transportation out of the cities became cheaper and more efficient, the travel and recreation industry took flight. 

By the end of the twentieth century, resort towns, roadside attractions and theme parks were a main staple of the summer vacation and a huge source of money for local economies. Or at least the ones you've heard of were.

On this week's podcast, Alex Schmidt is joined by Cracked writers and editors David Christopher Bell and Tom Reimann to discuss the origins of the summer break, how Disneyland was built, and a weird catalogue of failed theme parks lost to history.

And if you're in Los Angeles in July, make sure to come to our next live podcast taping. On Saturday July 8th at 7:00pm at the UCB Sunset Theatre, former zoo tour guide and current Cracked Podcast host Alex Schmidt will be joined by Cracked's Daniel O'Brien and Katie Goldin as well as comedians Caitlin Gill, Joey Clift and Matt Kirshen as they discuss snakes, hippos, octopuses and every other animal that could Planet-0f-the-Apes us if they tried. Tickets are only $7 and available here: https://goo.gl/rVhzPC

Also, be sure to get caught-up on our Cracked Podcast mini-series 'Looking the Part' co-hosted by Soren Bowie and Daniel O'Brien. Each Friday, Soren and Daniel are taking a deep-dive into the theories and hidden meanings behind movie hair, costumes and make-up. They examine the cryptic psychological reason behind Superman's dueling haircuts, why Ledger's Joker has scars and Leto's Joker has tattoos and a whole lot more. 

Check out episode 1 here: https://goo.gl/hwuUvB

Check out episode 2 here: https://goo.gl/81qZk3

And stay tuned to the Cracked Podcast for episode 3 this Friday.

Footnotes:

Article: Cracked: 8 Amusement Parks That Died Surreal and Bizarre Deaths: https://goo.gl/62P2xQ

Article: Slate: Do Kids Need a Summer Vacation: https://goo.gl/uVc9DB

Article: PBS: Debunking the Myth of Summer Vacation: https://goo.gl/ieCCvs

Article: Smithsonian Magazine: Where Was The Birthplace of the American Vacation: https://goo.gl/hiHiK8

Article: LA Times: How Disney Used Shell Companies To Start Its Magic Kingdom: https://goo.gl/1n8Lfj

Article: Disney Parks: Bob Foster and the Founding of a Disney Kingdom: https://goo.gl/wg5ArV

Article: Washington Post: This S.C. roadside attraction is garish, tacky and un-PC — but I stopped anyway: https://goo.gl/H3b4iV

Photo: Six Flags Over Texas: Map With Confederacy Land: https://goo.gl/r1b6ew

Photoset: Weather Channel: You Can Rent This 'Wizard of Oz' Them Park: https://goo.gl/1FkNwq

Article: Cracked: 6 Insane Summer Camps That Will Make You Wish You Were a Kid: https://goo.gl/CidkkH

Article: Cracked: 5 Disney Park Attractions You Won't Believe Existed: https://goo.gl/uqFJ43

Article: Cracked: 6 Ways Fourth of July Used To Make 'The Purge' Look Tame: https://goo.gl/5Sthd1

Wikipedia: Shania Twain: https://goo.gl/3DvgrU