Connie Baker - Christian Codependency
Divorced: Fundamentalist Christianity

CW: Sexual abuse, Christianity

Connie A. Baker, MA, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor who specializes in recovery from religious abuse. Connie’s life mission is to educate, validate, and advocate for religious abuse survivors. In 1990, she suffered life-shattering spiritual abuse and had NO ONE to talk with about it. She has since created a number of resources to help others recovering from spiritual abuse.

Connie’s book is called TRAUMATIZED BY RELIGIOUS ABUSE: Discover the Cultures and Systems of Religious Abuse and Reclaim Your Personal Power. She’s also created some card decks related to deconstruction and reconstruction. In this episode, we discuss Connie’s history and how Christians are groomed for codependency.

Find Connie:
Website: https://connieabaker.com/
Card deck: https://question-mapping.com/ 

Support this podcast on Patreon (starting as low as $2/month) and get access to bonus content: https://www.patreon.com/janiceselbie Thanks to my newest patrons: Lois, Hayley, and Amy. Every dollar helps.

Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference now 50% off here https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/register with discount code SPECIAL50

Tickets now available for CORT2023: https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/

Subscribe to the audio-only version here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast

Follow Janice and the Conference on Religious Trauma on Social Media: 
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The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician.

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Seth Andrews 
Magical Thinking & Misinformation
Divorced: Christianity
 
CW: U.S. politics
 
Seth Andrews is a former evangelical and Christian broadcaster who now hosts The Thinking Atheist…one of the most popular podcasts and online atheist communities in the world. The Thinking Atheist is not a person. It is an icon encouraging all to reject faith and pursue reason and evidence. 
 
Seth has authored five books, including his latest offering, “Christianity Made Me Talk Like an Idiot.” He also hosts a second podcast, "True Stories with Seth Andrews."
 
In this episode, Seth and I talk about how religion primes us for magical thinking in other areas of life.

Find Seth:
https://www.sethandrews.com/
https://www.thethinkingatheist.com/
https://www.truestoriespodcast.com/

Join Seth and I in person, this May, at the Western Canadian Reason Conference happening in Calgary, Alberta. https://wecanreason.com/

Support this podcast on Patreon (starting as low as $2/month) and get access to bonus content: https://www.patreon.com/janiceselbie Thanks to my newest patrons: Lois, Hayley, and Amy. Every dollar helps.

Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference now 50% off here https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/register with discount code SPECIAL50

Tickets now available for CORT2023: https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/

Subscribe to the audio-only version here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast

Follow Janice and the Conference on Religious Trauma on Social Media: 
Mastodon: [email protected]
Twitter: https://twitter.com/divorcereligion
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Wise_counsellor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ComeToCORT
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligion
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@janiceselbie
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The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician.

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Mahrs Schoppman - The Colonization of our Bodies
Divorced: Evangelical Christianity

Mahrs Schoppman is a queer & trans somatic psychotherapist with a private practice based out of his home office in the redwood trees of Occidental, California. Mahrs specializes in working with the queer community and with those who live with the embodied traumatic impacts of growing up in an oppressive religious environment.  

He is passionate about walking with people on their journeys of reclaiming embodied knowing, sensation, emotional range, and vitality as a means of recovering from the learned dissociation that comes with restrictive religion.  Mahrs facilitates therapy groups for queer survivors of religious trauma and is in the midst of writing a book about his experiences and ideas around religious trauma.  

On today’s episode, Mahrs shares his gripping extimony about coming out as a nonbeliever and member of the LGBTQ+ community, and how his own experience informs his private practice.

For more from Mahrs, join us at CORT2023.Tickets now available: https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/
FIND MAHRS: https://therapywithmahrs.com/
Support this podcast on Patreon (starting as low as $2/month) and get access to bonus content: https://www.patreon.com/janiceselbie Thanks to my newest patrons: Hayley, Lois, SatX. Every dollar helps.

Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference now 50% off here https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/register with discount code SPECIAL50

Subscribe to the audio-only version here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast

Follow Janice and the Conference on Religious Trauma on Social Media: 
Mastodon: [email protected]
Twitter: https://twitter.com/divorcereligion
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Wise_counsellor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ComeToCORT
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligion
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@janiceselbie
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The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician.

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Isaiah Bell - From Cult Survivor to Composer
Divorced: Evangelical cult “The Move”

CW: CSA is mentioned in this episode.

Isaiah Bell is a Canadian tenor, writer, composer, and artist who grew up in Canada in an evangelical cult. I recently had the opportunity to attend his one-man, cabaret-style opera called “The Book of My Shames,” which he describes this way:

“I’m a good and happy modern gay, thanks very much... But there’s this other me that’s at odds with all that; this tender part that has been left behind in the dark. Shame maintains the gap between us. So I’m reaching out. This is my Rosetta Stone between two halves of a broken heart.”

In this episode, Isaiah and I discuss some of the challenges of growing up fundy and trying to integrate ourselves into the larger culture – which can be especially hard as a member of the 2SLGBTQ+ community.

Support this podcast on Patreon (starting as low as $2/month) and get access to bonus content: https://www.patreon.com/janiceselbie Thanks to my newest patrons: Lois, SatX, Carol, CMM, RL, and KD. Every dollar helps.

Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference now 50% off here https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/register with discount code SPECIAL50

Tickets now available for CORT2023: https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/

Subscribe to the audio-only version here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast

Follow Janice and the Conference on Religious Trauma on Social Media: 
Mastodon: [email protected]
Twitter: https://twitter.com/divorcereligion
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Wise_counsellor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ComeToCORT
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligion
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@janiceselbie
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The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician.

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Jessica Barksdale - Family Secrets

CW: CSA, sexual coercion

Author JESSICA BARKSDALE has written 16 books, including novels and poetry, with a short story collection coming out this year. She currently teaches a course for UCLA Extension on novel writing. The subject of Jessica’s most recent novel, What the Moon Did, resonates with stories I’ve heard from clients in my counselling practice.

Themes in this book include adolescence, vulnerability, coercion, and family secrets, with the underlying message summarized as: No matter how we try to hide our pasts, the truth finds its way to the surface, sometimes in devastating ways.

Many of us raised in fundamentalist religious families felt the pressure to keep secrets in order to protect reputations. One thing we didn’t know about, though, was the concept of consent.

ABOUT JESSICA:
Jessica Barksdale’s sixteenth novel What the Moon Did was published February 2023 by Flexible Press. Her short story collection Trick of the Porch Light is forthcoming in 2023.  She’s published two poetry collections: When We Almost Drowned (2019) and Grim Honey (2021).
She taught at Diablo Valley College in Pleasant Hill, California and continues to teach for UCLA Extension and in the online MFA program for Southern New Hampshire University.

Website: www.jessicabarksdaleinclan.com

Support this podcast on Patreon (starting as low as $2/month) and get access to bonus content: https://www.patreon.com/janiceselbie Thanks to my newest patrons: Lois, SatX, Carol, CMM, RL, and KD. Every dollar helps.

Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference now 50% off here https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/register with discount code SPECIAL50

Tickets now available for CORT2023: https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/

Subscribe to the audio-only version here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast

Follow Janice and the Conference on Religious Trauma on Social Media: 
Mastodon: [email protected]
Twitter: https://twitter.com/divorcereligion
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Wise_counsellor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ComeToCORT
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligion
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@janiceselbie
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The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician.

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Jena Miyu is the co-owner of a YouTube channel called The Atheist Network Group “The Flavor” with her boyfriend, Oz. Jena was raised a Baptist Christian and has been an atheist for nearly 4 years. She has been part of the online atheist community for the same amount of time. Jena has co-hosted, produced, and run several different shows and channels.

In this episode, Jena shares some of the challenges related to rejecting Christianity as a Black woman, mourning losses without belief in gods, and rebuilding identity post religion.

FIND JENA:
YouTube: 
https://youtube.com/@ITSTANGGANG
https://youtube.com/@BlackFemaleAtheist
https://www.facebook.com/jena.miyu.3?mibextid=LQQJ4d
https://www.twitter.com/@jena_bfa

CW: Death of father, estrangement

Support this podcast on Patreon (starting as low as $2/month) and get access to bonus content: https://www.patreon.com/janiceselbie Thanks to my newest patrons: Lois, SatX, Carol, CMM, RL, and KD. Every dollar helps.

Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference now 50% off here https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/register with discount code SPECIAL50

Tickets now available for CORT2023: https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/

Subscribe to the audio-only version here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast
Follow Janice and the Conference on Religious Trauma on Social Media: 
Mastodon: [email protected]
Twitter: https://twitter.com/divorcereligion
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Wise_counsellor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ComeToCORT
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligion
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@janiceselbie
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wisecounsellor/

The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician.

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Daniella Mestyanek Young - Sex Cult Survivor

Divorced: The Children of God cult

TW: Discussion of CSA and military sexual assault

DANIELLA MESTYANEK YOUNG is an American author and speaker who was raised in the religious cult, Children of God.

She later served as an intelligence officer for the US Army for over 6 years, making the rank of Captain, and became one of the first women in US Army history to conduct deliberate ground combat operations when she volunteered to serve on a Female Engagement Team, and received the Presidential Volunteer Service Award. Daniella is a wife and mother in Maryland and holds a Master’s Degree in Industrial and Organizational Psychology from the Harvard Extension School.

In today’s episode, Daniella discusses escaping from the Children of God and trying to integrate into secular life, as well as parallels between all cultish groups (including the military).

For more from Daniella, join us online in October at CORT2023: https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/

DANIELLA’S LINKS
https://www.amazon.com/Uncultured-Memoir-Daniella-Mestyanek-Young/dp/1250280117/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1667828324&sr=8-1

https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/growing-up-in-a-cult-we-kept-our-pain-silent-20221214-p5c6be.html

https://www.mamamia.com.au/uncultured-book-daniella-young/

Support this podcast on Patreon for as low as $2/month to get ad-free episodes and bonus content: https://www.patreon.com/janiceselbie T

Thanks to my latest Patrons: Hayley, Lois, and SatX,.

Subscribe to the audio-only version here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast

Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference now 50% off here https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/ with discount code SPECIAL50

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Dr. Ling Lam - Spiritual Refugee
Divorced: Fundamentalist Christianity

Dr. Ling Lam is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a part-time practice in Palo Alto and San Francisco. He is also a Lecturer in the Counseling Psychology Department at Santa Clara University, where he teaches courses on Complex Trauma, Crisis Intervention, LGBT Counseling, Family Therapy, Couple Therapy and Multicultural Psychotherapy. 
 
In this episode, Dr. Lam discusses his own challenges with cultural shifts, spiritual awakenings, and embracing his sexuality as a member of the 2SLGBTQ+ community..

For more from Dr. Lam, join us at CORT2023. Tickets now available: https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/

FIND DR. LAM:
https://www.scu.edu/ecp/faculty/counselingfaculty/ling-lam-phd/lam.html
https://www.therealling.com/
 
Support this podcast on Patreon (starting as low as $2/month) and get access to bonus content: https://www.patreon.com/janiceselbie Thanks to my newest patrons: Hayley, Lois, and SatX. Every dollar helps.

Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference now 50% off here https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/register with discount code SPECIAL50


Subscribe to the audio-only version here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast

Follow Janice and the Conference on Religious Trauma on Social Media: 
Mastodon: [email protected]
Twitter: https://twitter.com/divorcereligion
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Wise_counsellor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ComeToCORT
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligion
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@janiceselbie
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wisecounsellor/

The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician.

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Erica Smith - Sex After Purity Culture

Erica Smith is an award-winning sexuality educator and consultant with over 20 years of experience. She has provided comprehensive sex education and advocacy to young women and LGBTQ+ youth in Philadelphia’s juvenile justice system, worked in abortion care, and supported HIV+ and transgender adolescents and their families.

Erica developed the Purity Culture Dropout™️ Program to provide the sex education we missed growing up in purity culture - a program that is accurate, queer inclusive, trauma informed, compassionate, and comprehensive.

On today’s episode, Erica shares some of the experiences that helped her see the need for programs tailored to those recovering from Christianity and purity culture indoctrination.

Erica was one of our speakers in 2022 at the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference – for which recordings are now available at 50% off!

For more from Erica, join us at CORT2023 online October 20-22. Get your tickets here: https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/

FIND ERICA
www.purityculturedropout.com
https://www.ericasmitheac.com/
 
RESOURCES MENTIONED
Recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference now 50% off here https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/ with discount code SPECIAL50

Many sex-themed books are mentioned in the second half of this episode.

Support this podcast on Patreon (starting as low as $2/month) and get access to bonus content: https://www.patreon.com/janiceselbie Thanks to my latest Patrons: Lois, SatX, Carol, CMM, RL, & Kevin D!

Subscribe to the audio-only version here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast

Get your free consultation with Janice, book 1:1 sessions, or sign up for the Divorcing Religion Workshop here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/

Get your recordings from the Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference here: https://www.shamelesssexuality.org/

Follow Janice and the Conference on Religious Trauma on Social Media: 
Mastodon: @[email protected] 
Twitter: https://twitter.com/divorcereligion
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Wise_counsellor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ComeToCORT
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligion
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wisecounsellor/
The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician.

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Angel De Santis - Surviving God’s Twisted Love 
Divorced: The Children of God cult

CW: CSA

ANGEL DeSANTIS 

Angel grew up in the apocalyptic Christian cult known as The Children of God. She managed to leave the cult about 14 years ago, and has been on a healing journey ever since, by building her brain and sharing her thought processes with others.

Angel is a mental health advocate, cult survivor, & storyteller, in addition to being a yoga teacher in LA.

She has a YT channel and has developed several courses to help others in recovery from religious and other forms of trauma. Links will be posted in the show notes for Angel’s resources.

In October of 2023, Angel will be speaking on a panel at the Conference on Religious Trauma (CORT) about CSA and child marriage.
https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/

FIND ANGEL
https://www.theprocessbyangel.com/
https://www.youtube.com/c/AngelDeSantis/featured

Support this podcast on Patreon (starting as low as $2/month) and get access to bonus content: https://www.patreon.com/janiceselbie Thanks to my newest patrons: Carol, CMM, RL, and KD! Every dollar helps.

Subscribe to the audio-only version here: https://www.divorcing-religion.com/religious-trauma-podcast

For a limited time, purchase recordings from the 2022 Shameless Sexuality: Life After Purity Culture conference for 50% off here https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/register with discount code SPECIAL50

Tickets for CORT2023 now available: https://www.religioustraumaconference.org/

Follow Janice and the Conference on Religious Trauma on Social Media: 
Mastodon: @[email protected] 
Twitter: https://twitter.com/divorcereligion
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Wise_counsellor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ComeToCORT
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DivorcingReligion
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wisecounsellor/

The Divorcing Religion Podcast is for entertainment purposes only. If you need help with your mental health, please consult a qualified, secular, mental health clinician.

Support the show