This week starts with Mikey accidentally turning NOT TDS into Pornhub Lite after trying to monetize the website and immediately getting greeted by a giant vagina and a “girl 3 miles away wants to fuck” popup.

Stroke’s getting his master’s degree while simultaneously questioning whether touring Thomas Jefferson’s slave mansion makes him racist by association.

Jenn gets “higher than giraffe pussy” off a Mother’s Day gummy while watching Sally Field movies, and Ian nearly declares war on a couple camping in his restaurant booth for four hours over a few PBRs and six-dollar tip money.

Then somehow the show spirals into awkward human interactions, slime-covered birthday disasters, getting hit by cars, and a full James Brown-style diss track called “Punk Ass Bitch” aimed directly at Ian’s couch mic and personality.

Humanity may be cooked, but at least you’re not the guy accidentally running porn ads on a comedy podcast website.

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸

This episode is brought to you by Morning Recovery. Because some of you drink like your decisions don’t have consequences.

Use code NTDS for 25% off at More Labs. Your future self is begging you.

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