Stroke was out this episode, so we did the responsible thing and replaced him with Rick, our actual lawyer. Smart move, honestly, because this episode probably needs legal supervision.

We started with a titties hat, then a dick hat, somehow invented “digital AIDS,” revisited the workplace phrase nobody should ever say out loud, and then took a hard turn into couples splitting bills 50/50. Joint accounts, separate accounts, who pays for dinner, who cleans the kitchen, who steals the money when everything goes sideways.

Romance is beautiful, folks.

Then Jenn gave us the news: China is allegedly using LinkedIn to fish for spies, a Florida grandma got arrested after falling for a fake Liam Neeson scam, Toronto has a beaver statue named Doug, and Joey Chestnut is apparently the Glizzy Guzzler now.

After that, confessions got disgusting enough that Rick probably considered charging us by the hour.

So here’s the question: should couples split everything 50/50, or is that fake fairness people use until somebody empties the bank account? Let us know in the comments

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