2N Jenn bailed to Mexico and left the three of us to maintain this flaming circus, so obviously we opened with Florida mugshots of the ugliest prostitutes on planet Earth and a “pimp” who looks like he manages a Dollar General, not a stable. 

Somewhere between calling one of them a hobbit and realizing the guy looks exactly like Mikey’s cousin Jeremy, we decided “I fuck hookers” should probably be a shirt, then got distracted by our AI-generated thumbnail making Mikey the star and branding Jen as “100% whiting.” 

Easter somehow turned into resurrection-weekend hooker arrests, zombie Jesus radio trouble, Elvis pube collections at Ripley’s, and whether Marilyn Monroe’s bush would need lamination. 

Then we slid straight into voicemails and comments about Monster Mash maybe being an orgy, Medusa’s snake bush, dogs getting stuck during sex, substitute teachers getting wrecked by teenagers, stripper tipping economics, and whether it’s gay to rail a blow-up doll of yourself. 

We still squeezed in bad relationship advice about a road-warrior promotion, a custody mess with a nine-year-old and a cold step-girlfriend, plus Craigslust gems like “birthday pegging and cum clean-up” and people proudly into water sports and humiliation cosplay. 

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸

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Confess your emotional crimes, sex disasters, and family trauma here: https://ngl.link/notthatdamnshow2

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