Welcome back to the only show that will teach you about a caterpillar that pretends to be bird shit and then pivot straight into why Texas has 581 Dairy Queens and still can’t flip a Blizzard right. 

We roast Rob’s new disaster, question how many felonies are happening on his livestream, and then somehow end up workshopping slogans for a sperm-themed T-shirt … because apparently “get happy, swallow a nut” needs branding help. 

There’s a deep-sea whore fish with multiple ball-sack boyfriends, a debate over whether North Korean soldiers would stop fighting if they discovered Pornhub, and a listener confession about fisting his girlfriend until she couldn’t walk right for two days. 

By the time we get to Florida Man stealing a septic tank with a Corolla, a cop hiding his HIV status, and the dumbest “Dirty Minds” game known to man, your IQ will be lower but your mood will be better. 

Welcome to America’s Loudest Podcast 🇺🇸 

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If you’ve listened this far, you clearly make bad decisions, so make one more and buy a shirt before we start printing the sperm one. 

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Got a secret, a crime, or a medical-grade mistake you absolutely should not tell anyone? Perfect, tell us. 

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