Raising Daughters

The Great Barrier Reef Holds Lessons About Raising Confident, Resilient Daughters


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Ever worry that your daughter lacks the confidence to solve her own problems and advocate for herself? Dr. Jordan describes how parents need to stop doing for kids what they can and need to do for themselves so that, like the great barrier reef, they can learn to grow strong and resilient.The Great Barrier Reef stretches some 1,800 miles from New Guinea to Australia. Tour guides regularly take visitors to view the reef. On one tour, the guide was asked an interesting question. “I notice that the lagoon side of the reef looks pale and lifeless, while the ocean side is vibrant and colorful,” a traveler observed. “Why is this?”
The guide gave an interesting answer: “The coral around the lagoon side is in still water, with no challenge for its survival. It dies early. The coral on the ocean side is constantly being tested by wind, waves, storms – surges of power. It has to fight for survival every day of its life. As it is challenged and tested it changes and adapts. It grows healthy. It grows strong. And it reproduces. Then he added this telling note: “That’s the way it is with every living organism.” Children need to be allowed to make mistakes, suffer, get frustrated and work thru their emotions and problems to gain the strength, resilience, and confidence that they can take care of themselves, solve their own problems and overcome adversities and challenges because they have been allowed to throughout their lives. Stop doing for kids what they can and need to do for themselves so that, like the great barrier reef, they can learn to grow strong, vibrant, and resilient.
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Raising DaughtersBy Tim Jordan, MD

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