The Greatest Generation

When a nacelle engineer totally puts himself into his work, Worf and Troi are tasked with investigating the circumstances of his death. But when Troi starts displaying some similarly troubling feelings, it's up to Worf to keep her from going over the edge. Is LiveJournal a compulsory part of a Starfleet career? Where's the boldest place to kiss someone for the first time? Are there special phasers for the elderly? It's the episode that's only slightly better than Ben Affleck's first film!

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When Data’s attempt to become a sculptor coincides with the ship encountering a rogue comet, eldritch emanations from the heavenly body cause him to take his exploration of an ancient art form way too far. Now the Entrepreneur is in ruins, and the only way to save it is for Picard to go incognito. Did we just witness an ice life genocide? Did Worf and Geordi doom the ship by leaving a torpedo next to an open flame in engineering? Should Picard just blow up the damn ship? It’s the episode that pauses at vag on its way to treble clef.

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When Data crash lands on "Planet Renaissance," he starts performing feats of strength and sells dangerous cargo to the blacksmith there. Meanwhile, Counselor Troi studies for a test where her answers have life-threatening consequences. Who's ever seen Space Rangers? What is the loaf of the week? Should we change the show's logo? It's the episode that suffers from mechanical amnesia.

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When Riker and Troi embark on a quarterly crew evaluation, four fresh-faced ensigns are pitted against each other to see who will get promoted, and who will be voted off the island. But when the Captain takes a special interest in big-dogging a familiar young Bajoran, the competition turns deadly. What does a staff meeting in Ten Forward sound like? Is Worf the best manager on the ship? Is Troi running a long con to get more face time with Lavelle? Its the episode that will serve as a time capsule for post-tour Adam and Ben to understand what pre-tour Adam and Ben were really like.

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When Beverly’s grandma wills her an erotic candle, her eye color isn’t the only thing that changes. But Troi and Picard grow increasingly suspicious when she starts dressing like an old. Is this mayor what would happen if the Dark Crystal puppets grew up? Where do babies come from? Was Nagilum an MRA? It’s the episode where we come to loggerheads over podcasting fluid.

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When Worf’s brother sends word of pending calamity at the Diet Mintakan planet he’s living on, the Enterprise is there to stand bravely and selflessly by as a young civilization is winked out of existence. But when Dr. Rozhenko sneaks some refugees aboard, the only way to prevent a full blown Prime Directive violation is for Worf to dress up as Carl Weathers. How are these holodeck outages going to affect the ship’s first officer? What’s the best window treatment on which to preserve a historical record? Why isn’t Worf respecting proper hugging etiquette? It’s the episode that is almost entirely dedicated to Paul Sorvino pasta sauce.

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When an Admiral from Starfleet Intelligence comes aboard, the Entrepreneur has to cut its holiday celebration short. But Riker’s misgivings about the mission and the man leading it boil over when a terrible, and very un-Roddenberry secret is uncovered. Is the Hood the Siberia of Starfleet? What is the top Riker? How is the Federation going to smooth this over with the Romulans? It’s the episode where Adam and Ben go to war with each other.

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When the Enterprise investigates a misaligned telescope on one of the great arrays, Worf begins experiencing some problems focusing. But when his issues at work spill over into his home life, his wife(!) helps him get back to where he belongs. Do amputees finish ahead of people who are bad at bat'leth? What kind of camping can you do in a shuttlecraft? Is there such thing as "the ultimate man-spread"? It's the episode that proves there's no floor drains in a shuttlebay.

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When a federation planet is a bit backed up, the Entrepreneur crew pull on their rubber gloves and get to work. But when one of the scientists starts insisting she’s Data’s mother, the mystery goes more than medium-deep. What’s the perfect can? Is this canonical phaser? Will we ever record sober again? It’s the episode where Data’s similarities to Ronald Reagan really start to trickle down.

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When the Entrepreneur goes on a search an rescue mission in a part of space with strange properties w/r/t fields, the situation gets hot in a global sort of way. A strangely loafed pair of siblings have gone Greenpeace on all local spaceships, and it’s up to Picard to deal with their inconvenient truth. When are the Ferengi going to get back to their Vegas residency? Can you Jake your own ship? Does Leonard Maltin review adult films? It’s the episode that’s a hyperbaric chamber preparing us for our trip to rock bottom.

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