The Heart

[Ep 4 of 4 and more to come] We were all left with burning questions after the first three episodes. In the final installment of the original ‘NO’ series from 2017, KP and the team play VMs and read letters from the audience and have a big 'ol processing party with Samara Breger, former Heart producer, sex educator and more recently: queer romance novelist. 

What do I tell my kids? What if my no DOES mean yes? How bad DOES he have to feel? How are racial dynamics similar? How do I not be depressed about humanity? 

This is an extended version of the original episode from 2017, including more questions and more grappling. SEND KP YOUR THOUGHTS in VM form for the update-isode!

DONATE to support the creation of a final episode telling the story of all that happened after this famed series aired; friendships rekindled, apologies made, mistakes repeated, lessons learned and unlearned and never learned and will she ever learn. 

THANK YOU to all who have donated 100+ dollars! Look out for an email soon where you will receive unreleased writing and the story of what happened to KP and Jay after she made the series. 

[Ep 3 of 4] Answers: Kaitlin’s search asking why coercion is so omnipresent lands her in one obvious place. Straight, cis-gendered men. In this episode, Kaitlin consults the men in her life that she loves, her friends, her father, her exes to see if they had ever pressured someone into having unwanted intimacy. But she knows she cannot end her search here. She must reach out to the men who have transgressed her to get their side of the story.

Updates: we hear about the men who interviewed in the series and notable developments since 2017 in their journeys navigating gender, power and consent.

DONATE to support the creation of a final episode telling the story of all that happened after this famed series aired; friendships rekindled, apologies made, mistakes repeated, lessons learned and unlearned and never learned and will she ever learn. 

"Tending the Garden" is a new healing resource, launched by the Trauma Queen Jimanekia Eborn. FOLLOW THIS WOMAN.

[Ep 2 of 4] Why listen to this series now? KP's schpiel. And then: we catch up with our shero in her mid-twenties, waiting to fall in love. Over the years she has become an expert at advocating for her own pleasure. She has learned how to say no to the sex that she doesn’t want to have with tact and grace. Just as she thinks she has figured out the art of sexual negotiations, another unsettling experience becomes a catalyst for a search for answers.

In the "reality check" section: we hear a 37 year old echoing the words of a 27 year old. An attempt at reconciliation gone wrong, the precursor for what we will hear in the next episode. 

DONATE to support the creation of a final episode telling the story of all that happened after this famed series aired; friendships rekindled, apologies made, mistakes repeated, lessons learned and unlearned and never learned and will she ever learn.

[Ep 1 of 4] Inside a locked diary are the hopes and dreams of a little girl who wants one thing more than everything else: this little girl wants to be wanted.  [TW: SA]

When the little girl becomes a teenager and her deepest want comes to pass, it turns out she doesn't want it. She wanted. . . something else. Something more?  Something less? Something sweeter. She doesn't know exactly what she wants, but she learns the hard way what she does not want. 

"Advance" a non-psychedelic trip into my girlhood was originally produced in May 2017. It was named after the type of advance that is made flirtatiously (or threateningly or shyly and on and on).  In this 2025 update we lean into the double meaning: 

HAVE WE ADVANCED ON THESE ISSUES SINCE 2017? OR HAVE WE...RETREATED? ['retreat' is listed as the opposite of the word 'advance' on dictionary dot com. Not a word we generally use in reference to this topic, and yet it feels like an interesting way to look at what we usually call "regression"]. Listen to decide for yourself, and then send us a voicememo with your thoughts to [email protected]. 

2025 UPDATE FROM KP: Drove by North Dundas the other day on a joyride. The smoking tree is not small anymore. 

DONATE to support the creation of a final episode detailing all that happened after this famed series aired; friendships rekindled, apologies made, mistakes repeated, lessons learned and unlearned and never learned and will we ever learn. 

Revisiting NO: after 8 years and several disappointing hook-ups wherein KP found herself wondering if the world forgot the lessons that shook 2017; she decides it's high time to listen again to the series that brings you inside of a 'no' that sounds like a 'yes', and all the 'yes's that really wanted to be 'no's. 

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Support the Jaber kids in their studies <3

In 2024 Ashtar Theatre started a new project: letters to Gaza. 

When Tarneem sat down to write a letter to her home, this work of poetry emerged in only a couple of hours. We didn't edit a single word. 

It’s been 6 months since she left her home in the north of Gaza. Every day she watches the news and prays for her family, her friends, her people. She waits for the world to wake up. She waits to see her pain reflected and acknowledged. Heartbroken and determined she wonders, “are we not even entitled to nostalgia?”

The letter was written and recorded by Tarneem Jaber, age 19. Music and sound design directed by Ahmad Jaber.

HELP AHMAD ENROLL IN UNIVERSITY: He found a university in Turkey that will accept his credits and let him continue from where he left off. We need 7k more to make enough for tuition! GET THIS YOUNG MAN INTO SCHOOL HERE.

This episode was named months ago: a prayer, a wish shared by one Tarneem Jaber and one Kaitlin Prest. "THE GENOCIDE IS A MEMORY, NOT AN ANNIVERSARY". The genocide has gotten even more terrifying as we mark an entire year of slaughter, terror and complacency. Attacks are now zeroing in on the North of Gaza: the home of Ahmad Tarneem and Hamza. Every day, sometimes every hour they try to call their mother and oldest brother (and his wife, who just had a baby) who are still there, with no way to escape. 

At the same time, we reflect on an entire year of collaboration, awakening and creation. Ahmad Jaber celebrates a birthday that only reminds him of a year of his youth he has lost. In the penultimate episode of the series, KP, Ahmad, Tarneem and the rest of the team take stock of the past, the future and the way we and the world will never be the same. 

Help Ahmad Jaber enroll in University HERE. THE UPDATE: it is half way through the semester, he was accepted at a University in Turkey that will allow him to continue from where he left off! He cannot enroll unless we can make enough for tuition: 7k remaining!

Artist and business owner Doreen Toutikian, founder of Beirut Design Week (and many other beautiful things that she’s had to leave in her past due to war) sits down with KP on February 23rd 2024 and performs monologue #10: Taima Okasha. She reflects on growing up hiding from bombs, the “Palestinian exception” anti-Palestinian racism in the arts and her fears of what might happen to her own home, Lebanon, if Israel is not stopped. 

Six months and many voice memos later, some of the fears Doreen expressed in her interview start to occur as Israel attacks Lebanon. 

"This is some black mirror shit. We've never seen anything like this." says Doreen. 

Support Doreen's newest venture Omgyno!

Help the Jaber Trifecta finish med school!

Audio artist and organizer Aliya Pabani takes Gaza Monologue #19 and binaural in-ear microphones (be sure to listen for the 3-dimensional effect: listen in headphones and you will walk with her) to a Toronto branch of the largest worldwide financier of weapons used by Israel. 

“Before, you could count how many buildings they destroyed. Now, you count how many buildings they didn’t destroy” — Tarneem Jaber

Tarneem Jaber (19 yrs old)  was starting her first week of med school on October 7th. Her brother Ahmad  (21 yrs old) was in his third year of dental school with only two remaining. Hamza, the oldest (24 yrs old), was supposed to graduate this June: He was a volunteer at Al-Shifa until it was obliterated.

The three siblings survived the destruction of their home, food shortages, a long journey to the border, and finding an apartment to rent in Cairo, Egypt. Only a few weeks later they were doing an interview on zoom with a Canadian for a feminist podcast they’d never heard of, telling the story of what they lived and what goes on for the loved ones they left behind.

Each of the Jaber siblings chooses a monologue to read: Hamza reads #30: Yasmeen Abu Amer. Ahmad reads #8: Ehab Elayan. Tarneem reads #13: Reema El Sadi. "We relate to every single word in this monologue," Tarneem says.

"But this war, is worse than anything we lived before."

Support them to complete their mother's parting wish: to finish their education. Thrust into complete independence and faced with international student fees and paying over again for years they already completed, these three brilliant students need your help to fix problems they never should have had to face. Please follow our link: https://gofund.me/854be259