Explicit content. There's a factoid floating around on the internet. It claims that, to ensure fertility and good harvest, pharaohs would annually masturbate into the River Nile. This claim is total bubkis, but where did it come from? Which deities and myths were most closely associated with such concepts? In this mini episode, we explore the factoid and its potential origins.

Great gods of fertility and Creation:

Allen, J. P. (1988). Genesis in Egypt: The Philosophy of Ancient Egyptian Creation Accounts.

Epigraphic Survey. (1940). Medinet Habu, Volume IV. Festival Scenes of Ramses III. Available free via The University of Chicago.

Maher-Taha, M., Loyrette, A.-M., & Sayed, S. (1979). Le Ramesseum XI: les fêtes du dieu Min.

Olette-Pelletier, J.-G. (2023). Min, l’Horus victorieux: Le dieu Min au Moyen Empire (Vol. 33).

Siuda, T. L. (2024). The Complete Encyclopedia of Egyptian Deities.

Wilkinson, R. H. (2000). The Complete Temples of Ancient Egypt..

Wilkinson, R. H. (2003). The Complete Gods and Goddesses of Ancient Egypt.

Examples of the factoid:

Anonymous, Did Egyptian Pharaohs Masturbate into the Nile? Retrieved June 16, 2025, from https://getmegiddy.com/egyptian-pharaohs-masturbate-into-nile

Margolis, J. (2003). O: The Intimate History of the Orgasm. http://archive.org/details/isbn_9780802117861

Menezes, R. (2022, March 21). Pharaohs Had the Grossest Ritual to Keep the Nile Running. Cracked.com. https://www.cracked.com/article_33015_pharaohs-had-the-grossest-ritual-to-keep-the-nile-running.html

Taylor, M. (2021). You Know What We Should Bring Back? Ritually Jacking Off into Rivers. MEL Magazine. https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/ancient-egypt-masturbation-nile

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Hapi was Egypt. The life-giving waters of the annual flood (inundation) were his work; and thanks to these waters, Egypt flourished, its people were fed, the gods received their offerings, and the social order was maintained. From the New Kingdom, papyrus and ostraca record songs/poems to the river god, called "Praise (dua) of Hapi." From the days of Ramesses II, we also have elaborate proclamations to the god and his blesings...

A Hymn to Hapi (excerpt)

Hail to you Hapi, who comes forth from the earth,

Who arrives to give life to Egypt (Kemet),

Hidden of nature, like darkness in the day,

Whose followers sing to him,

Who floods the fields, created by Ra,

Who causes every herd to live,

Who satisfies the desert, which is far from water,

He (Hapi) is the moisture, descending from the sky…

...

Egypt is awakened; its exhaustion has gone!

All the creatures celebrate, when (Hapi) makes the Two Banks green.

When he pours forth abundance, among the old and young alike.

How lovely the lotus, whose blossoms dot the flood, that they may tell the happiness to come.

...

Come, O god (Hapi)… do not be slow!

Do not be cruel, reducing what we have, for you might do wrong to the innocent…

May you (Hapi) give breath to the nose, when you come.

O Hapi, do not sink into the ground…

Your perfection is here before us, so that we may turn back to your keeping; and the gods are near…

...

For more information about Hapi and Hymns to the Nile:

Foster, J. L. (1995). Hymns, Prayers, and Songs: An Anthology of Ancient Egyptian Lyric Poetry.

Lichtheim, M. (1973). Ancient Egyptian Literature Volume I: The Old and Middle Kingdoms.

Quirke, S. (2004). Egyptian Literature 1800 BC: Questions and Readings.

Siuda, T. L. (2024). The Complete Encyclopedia of Egyptian Deities.

Wilkinson, R. H. (2003). The Complete Gods and Goddesses of Ancient Egypt.

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What did ancient Egyptians like to smell? Did they use any narcotics in their day to day lives? And what do mummified bodies smell like? Today, I'm pleased to welcome Dora Goldsmith to the podcast.

Dora Goldsmith is a PhD-candidate at the Freie Universitat in Berlin, Germany. Specialising in ancient smellscapes, Dora explores how the ancient Egyptians perceived and described the scent of their world. Along the way, Dora introduces us to the favoured perfumes and flowers used by the ancients, some of their “recreational” substances, and how mummified bodies smell today.

Publications by Dora Goldsmith at Academia.edu https://fu-berlin.academia.edu/DoraGoldsmith

For perfumes and newsletter, email Dora Goldsmith directly at [email protected]. Learn more about her reconstructions in the Ancient Egyptian Scent Kit.

Follow Dora on Instagram @prof_dora

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We're joining YouTube! After many years of on-off effort, I'm finally putting podcast episodes in video form up on my YouTube channel.

Also, a quick update on the narrative as a I prepare the Battle of Kadesh...

Follow us on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@ancientegypthist

Massive thanks to Amr Saleh for taking on the editing duties. I hope you'll all join us on an exciting journey to bring more ancient Egypt to you(tube).

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Hello everyone, it’s that time again! In March of 2026, we’re offering a new itinerary in the Nile Valley. This one is called the New Kingdom Cruise. It lasts for ten days, with a special focus on the south, the monuments of Elephantine (Aswan) and Lake Nasser. We ride a cruise boat, organised by Ancient World Tours, and visit monuments of Thutmose III, Sety I, Ramesses II, and even the Roman Emperors.

For bookings follow this link and use the password KALABSHA https://www.ancient.co.uk/holiday/history-of-egypt-podcast-2026-the-nubian-cruise/

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Ramesses II defends his borders. In the early years of his reign, Ramesses focussed on home defence. His army established new forts at remote locations along the western Delta and Mediterranean Coast (Marmarica). Traces of this work can be found at famous locations like el-Alamein, Mersa Matruh, and Zawiyet Umm el-Rakham, the latter of which has been the object of detailed excavation in recent decades. Apparently, Ramesses was fortifying his frontiers, guarding the western approaches to Egypt.

Soon after, the pharaoh went forth on campaign. His target? The cities of Canaan and Amurru, in modern-day Lebanon. Along the way, he left inscriptions at Nahr el-Kalb, which started a surprisingly long-lived tradition...

Music: "War" by Ancient Lyric (commissioned by The History of Egypt Podcast).

Website: www.egyptianhistorypodcast.com.

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Fellow podcaster Scott Chesworth, from The Ancient World has a new season. I’m excited to introduce “The Ancient World – Ages”, a series covering the Early Bronze Age Collapse (c. 2200 BC) and the remaking of Southwest Eurasia.

In this feed swap, you’ll hear episode A3 – The Kings of Kish. It covers the period c.2900 BCE and 2350 BCE, also known as the Early Dynastic Period in Sumer. A time of kings, emerging from legends. Figures like Gilgamesh, burial sites like the Royal Cemetery of Ur, and the legendary conflict between the gods Lagash and Umma, recorded on the Stela of the Vultures. Along the way, Scott will introduce you to history’s earliest-known diplomacy, bilateral treaty, and legal codes. Finally, Scott will set the stage for the most famous conqueror of the day: Sargon of Akkad.

The Ancient World – Ages promises to by an exciting, big picture history of this ancient period. While the Egyptians were focused on pyramids, rulers in Mesopotamia were kicking Kish and taking names. Please, consider joining Scott on this epic journey.

Website: https://ancientworldpodcast.com/

Scott Chesworth's The Ancient World is available on Spotify, Apple, and all good podcasting apps.

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Ramesses goes back to school. Luxor Temple is a magnificent monument, in a city full of them. The sanctuary you visit today is, in large part, the work of Ramesses' early reign. New pylons, colossal statues, obelisks, and dedicatory texts provide the testament to the young pharaoh's work. Exploring these, we also get a surprising insight into temple archives and educational facilities, embodied in the Per-Ankh / House of Life...

Outro music: Jeffrey Goodman, "Prophetic Harps of Amun-Ra," used with permission.

Website: www.egyptianhistorypodcast.com.

Support the show via Patreon www.patreon.com/egyptpodcast.

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Delta raiders. Decades before their famous migrations, the "Sea Peoples" were already active and visible in the eastern Mediterranean; and Ramesses II had his own dealings with these groups. In year 2 of his reign, Ramesses II (Usir-Ma'at-Ra) dealt with a coastal raid by the Sherden, who came from the "islands in the midst" of the sea (which the Egyptians called the "Great Green"). The battle, and its aftermath, is referenced in several of Ramesses' inscriptions. We explore this curious first chapter in the Sea Peoples' story...

Music: Michael Levy "Odysseus and the Sirens” www.ancientlyre.com

Website: www.egyptianhistorypodcast.com

Support the show via Patreon www.patreon.com/egyptpodcast

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The new royal tomb, and how two 18th Dynasty rulers defined the "New Kingdom" as we know it. Prof. Aidan Dodson is a dedicated and prolific scholar, whose research covers many facets of ancient Egyptian history (and even WW1 warships!) His latest book, Thutmose III & Hatshepsut: Pharaohs of Egypt - Their Lives and Afterlives looks at how these two monarchs, and their followers, defined many of the aspects of "pharaonic culture" as we imagine it. Along the way, we also discuss the new royal tomb, its significance, and its connection to these famous figures.

Prof. Aidan Dodson at Academia.edu and the University of Bristol.

Book: Thutmose III and Hatshepsut, Pharaohs of Egypt at AUC Press.

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