It's a fine Thursday to discuss Pete's most inspirational piece of work yet - a lovely graphic of him kissing Noel Edmonds. Luke's not quite sure why he's done it, and being honest, nor is Pete. Still, it's nothing an entire box of Marc de Champagne truffles can't fix.

The lads also find time to talk about Jeremy Clarkson, and run the rule over your latest battery submissions. How many new players are going to enter the game this week? Tune in to find out!

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Rejoice, for Luke and Pete are back! And this time around they're talking Jeff Bezos' wedding - what's the small talk going to be like?

Meanwhile Pete is contemplating living off-grid as long as he can have a superfast broadband connection, which kind of defeats the point, and we hear from a genuinely inspirational vigilante Dad who, in a bastardisation of Liam Neeson in Taken, just wants his son's mountain bike back.

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In what is sure to become absolutely seismic news, Pete was accosted at a train station this week by a listener who quite simply hates Luke and his interrupting ways. An event that was sure to test Pete's small talk skills to the very limit. For his part, Luke took the events with his usual good grace, by which we mean he became his trademark belligerent self.

Also today, there's Rik Mayall, Tim Key, the dangers of buying too much outerwear and, of course, your latest battery submissions. Can we find yet another new player? Poke your head in to the tent and find out. 

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This is a show primarily about urination. But don't let that put you off! We all do it! But do we all do it on consecrated ground, or off of diving boards? Hope not, hope not. Elsewhere on your LAPS ep du jour we talk cherry trees, Pete's dog going on a mad one with some leeks and the sharing of criminal records between nations. There's also the discovery of an adorable new television show involving toddlers doing everyday tasks. Join us!

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Pete’s riding high after winning a 90s-themed pub quiz, but Luke isn’t celebrating – he’s staunchly anti-pub quiz, claiming it threatens the sanctity of the sacred bar area. In protest, he offers up a definitive list of the only pub entertainment he’ll tolerate. Elsewhere, the lads dive into restaurant etiquette. Pete rails against waiters who rush him while Luke boldly declares that small plate restaurants should be made illegal.

Plus, there’s a meat glue follow-up from a concerned emailer, and an appearance from Doctor Donny himself, complete with some very questionable takes on urology.

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Scandal rocks the studio as Pete catches Luke doing the unthinkable: eating a snack on air. Things spiral further when Luke takes a swing at pronouncing pain au raisin, leading to a passionate post-Brexit rant about why all baked goods should come with an English translation.

Then, in a shocking turn of events, Pete reveals he’s started wearing Y-fronts unironically… a fact Luke finds deeply unsettling. We also hear about Luke’s teenage BMX-building era, question whether amateur cyclists really need all that Lycra, and debate whether tall people are just naturally more trustworthy.

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Luke tells Pete about his most stressful Lime bike ride yet – unknowingly cycling home on one graffitied with “Pedo bike” on the side. Naturally, today’s big questions are: should we all be allowed to name hire bikes? And should kids ride for free?

Elsewhere, Pete nearly doxxes himself in postcode form, Luke gets nostalgic about beaded taxi seat covers, and the lads confront a painful truth…they've become halloumi boys – and Luke’s had enough of being shamed by performative foodies about it.

Plus, finally, 3 new batteries!

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Today, Luke and Pete dive into the chemical mystery of WD-40 – is it basically just liquid cocaine? Then they move on to debating the fastest way to destroy your phone if the police stop you with something dodgy on it…just a hypothetical!

Elsewhere, Luke’s nearly in hives over Pete’s snack-based mic etiquette, Donny has no idea how Rob Brydon ended up in his contacts, and a listener falls asleep on the toilet during a Ramble Live show.

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Turns out your favourite duo aren’t the only Luke and Pete in the wider podcasting ecosystem. So now we have extensive beef with a seemingly questionable Pete and Luke we’ve just stumbled across.

That aside, Luke discusses his new potential career as a sleep coach (“just get your head down”) and we finally crack the Steven Bartlett conundrum. Plus, peculiar places to watch the O.J. Simpson car chase, batteries aplenty and the grim, grey line between what’s socially acceptable and illegal within the confines of your own car.

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Pete and a laryngitis-ridden Luke settle in for a thoroughly analytical breakdown of the current state of the UK box office. Plus, we have to ask the difficult question: is Keanu Reaves actually terrible at acting?

Elsewhere we get an update from the Bad Boy of Pétanque, hear of badgers terrorising Pete’s local area and a listener’s going to Glastonbury and hasn’t heard of Neil Young - Luke ain’t happy…

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