The lads relive their wild night at the London Palladium for Football Ramble LIVE - ever been so drunk you queued for your own toilet at home? That’s exactly how it ended for some!

Then Pete shares some holiday, um, highlights? A pigeon spring roll that left him with what feels like shrapnel in his mouth and the knowledge of a disturbing mystery about a bridge where dogs are strangely drawn to leap to their deaths.

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Pete pitches the idea of a Smiths reunion…with Lily Allen taking over as front woman in place of Morrissey, obviously. Meanwhile, Luke’s reached his limit with Pete’s chaotic car chatter and demands a full rundown of every car he's owned - seriously, where did the Mini Countryman even come from!?

Plus, Pete tries to spice up his vocabulary with a bit of Scottish slang.

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Pete’s struggling to get on board with the latest #BritishCore trend, while Luke is entertained by the American fascination with the mundanity of British culture. This gets Luke pondering what it would be like if Donny were president - he’s convinced it would lead to a lifetime reign!

Plus, a visit from Pete’s mum gets the lads questioning what really constitutes a welsh cake.

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Is conceiving a lovechild still an acceptable form of rockstar behaviour? Luke rants about the patriarchy after Pete brings up the David Grohl scandal. Donny’s adamant that the solution to emasculation is simple - just become more pathetic.

Plus, does AI actually make your life easier?

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Luke’s accidentally left his car unlocked but the only thing stolen was a pound coin for the shopping trolley. On the back of this, the lads discuss shoplifting techniques and Pete decides he’d steal a Japanese chef knife, naturally.

Elsewhere, Donny’s confused why pig milk hasn’t caught on yet. Oink oink! 

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Donny considers joining a retreat for 'entrepreneurial' men in Bali after Luke suggests his true calling is becoming an influencer.

Plus, Pete can't contain his excitement over a rare badger sighting.

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Have you ever walked into a bathroom and accidentally cockblocked an orgy? Well, one listener is certain he did!

In other news, Pete has fallen victim to another theft of his beloved bike and Luke recalls the time a police officer sniffed his hands for signs of excrement.

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Luke crowns Disneyland as the people-watching capital of the world, but Pete just can’t see it. Instead, he wants to talk about how similar Giles Coren and Luke are.

Elsewhere, Luke tells Donny about some saucy bodice-ripping Napoleonic fan fiction and, after another mention of airports, Luke can’t comprehend why anyone would have four kids, let alone take them on holiday.

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Luke’s ecstatic about the recent Oasis reunion announcement, declaring himself a “proper music fan,” while Pete couldn’t care less. Instead, Donny reminisces about the most punk rock moment of his life: a massive hotdog bun fight in the middle of Wembley Arena.

Oh, and Pete wants to know the answer to a very important question: did Luke shit his pants last week?

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Pete reveals his go-to breakup tactics, while Luke dives into the universal concept of every culture having its own version of a sandwich, igniting the timeless debate: soft shell or hard shell tacos?

Plus, the Battery Daddy gets edged with the prospect of another new player.

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