In Game 5 of the ’97 NBA Finals, Michael Jordan willed his way to a victory, scoring 38 points while suffering from the flu. Now, in Episode 27 of The Mean Time, Jared faces similar odds as he battles his own flu. Will he rise to the occasion like MJ? No, he will not. This episode is a tough listen.

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Here’s a list of the top 10 highest paid CEOs of 2024! Jon Winkelried, Harvey Schwartz, Hock Tan, Nikesh Arora, Sue Nabi, George Mattson, Stephen Schwarzman, Christopher Winfrey, Pablo Legorreta, and Ariel Emanuel! Knowledge is power!

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Honestly it was unfair of you guys to put such undue pressure on us to be as funny as we were in the last episode. It’s not our fault that you can’t manage your expectations. Get over yourself, no one’s making you be here.

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NARROW BOY IS BACK WE ARE SO BACK WE’RE TALKIN SEX WITH SMASH BROS AND SEX WITH HARRY POTTER AND SEX WITH EACH OTHER AND BULLYING A 3 YEAR OLD YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

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An unrealistic precedent has been set as Jared sings his way through this week’s episode to make up for lost Pat while special guest Reece from Dreamfone is having a very long and quiet panic attack about it. It’s time to d-d-d-duel.

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With Pat on tour and Jared incapable of being funny without making fun of someone, there is only one man who can save this week’s episode of The Mean Time! Who could it be??? Text your answer to your local representative and tell them that women’s bodies shouldn’t be governed by men!

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Hey there! Chris Rock here to say that I give Jared explicit permission to do a very spot-on white guy impression of me in this week’s episode of The Mean Time! If anyone should take issue with said impression, I encourage you to come back here and read this official statement. Polka-Dot Afro!!!

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No fictional cartoon dogs were harmed, maimed, or otherwise antagonized during the filming of this week’s episode.

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Come and meat your favorite duo on the last day of Hallow-Mean as they crank up the jokes for the grand finale! A magical genie makes the boys think long and hard about the perfect wish, they get shafted at a derelict casino in the desert, and they shoot their shots at celebs to come on the show!

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You ever get so freakin smoked out, baked up, fried down, stoney macaroni, zoinked, shlushpuppied, crispy chickky crunched, and otherwise H to the I-G-H’d on some sticky icky, skunky wunky, donkey dunky, ucey juicy, crunchy munchy, double budsky supremesky ganj????

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