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Foster care is never linear. If you’re reading this, you probably already know that. You know the wild swings from hope to heartbreak, the late-night worries, the unspoken fears. You know how it can feel like everything is happening at once — or not at all.

And in the thick of all of that? There’s the messy middle.

It’s the part that doesn’t get as much attention:

✨ When the honeymoon phase of a new placement fades and the real work begins.

✨ When reunification plans shift and change, leaving everyone reeling.

✨ When your child’s trauma shows up in ways you didn’t see coming.

✨ When you’re doing everything you can — and it still doesn’t feel like enough.

This “messy middle” is where most of foster care actually happens. And it’s also where so many foster mamas feel stuck.

Today, I want to share why this season feels so hard, and some gentle, real-life ways to find your calm — even when it feels like the chaos will never end.