The Modern Therapist's Survival Guide with Curt Widhalm and Katie Vernoy

Good Enough, Safe Enough: Affirming LGBTQ+ Clients When You're Not a Specialist

Affirming LGBTQ+ clients when you are not a specialist: Curt Widhalm, LMFT, and Katie Vernoy, LMFT on being a good enough, safe enough therapist when you cannot refer out.

Curt and Katie take on a question therapists often avoid: what do you do when an LGBTQ+ client needs care, you are not a specialist, and referring out is not possible, not safe, or not honest? In this Pride Month episode, they make the case that you can be a good enough, safe enough therapist for LGBTQ+ clients even when affirming care is not your declared specialty.

Mental health deserts, narrow insurance panels, long specialist wait lists, and unsafe home environments mean referral is not always available, and sometimes referring out is closer to abandonment than care. Curt and Katie argue that scope of competence is too often used as polite cover for therapist discomfort, and that most clinical work with LGBTQ+ clients is the same work you already do well. Affirming care is the container, not a separate specialty.

They also get practical about being a safe enough stopgap therapist: building a just in time consultation kit, doing the cultural humility work, and reckoning with the invisible labor and consultation tax of allyship, including why you should never bill a client to research their own identity. And they name the specific moments when referring an LGBTQ+ client out is still the right and ethical call.

This is a useful conversation for generalist therapists, rural and solo clinicians, insurance-based practices, and anyone doing the ongoing work of affirming, culturally humble care.

In this episode, we discuss:

- Why "refer out" can be avoidance dressed as ethics, and when it is genuinely the right call

- How to tell a true scope of competence limit from your own discomfort

- What it means to be a good enough, safe enough therapist for LGBTQ+ clients

- How to build a just in time kit so an LGBTQ+ client never lands on you cold

- Why the invisible labor and consultation tax of allyship is yours to carry, not your client's to fund

- The specific signs that mean you should refer out anyway

Timestamps:

00:15 - Why a Pride Month episode on being good enough, not a specialist

02:56 - "Just refer out": sound advice or avoidance?

05:05 - Scope of competence versus therapist discomfort

13:08 - The good enough therapist, and when referral becomes abandonment

16:55 - Meeting clients where they are until specialist care opens up

19:03 - Building a just in time kit for your practice

24:44 - The invisible labor and consultation tax of allyship

32:10 - When you should refer out anyway

Full show notes and transcript: mtsgpodcast.com

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Allyship Is Awkward: How Therapists Can Keep Showing Up Anyway

What if the awkwardness of ally work is not a sign you are doing it wrong, but the actual work?

Curt Widhalm, LMFT, and Katie Vernoy, LMFT explore what it looks like to do ally work as a therapist when you hold majority identities the people around you do not share. They move across three zones where this shows up: with clients in the therapy room, with colleagues and consultants in professional spaces, and in broader community and advocacy work.

Drawing on their own missteps and on the work of creators like Ashani Mfuko of Anti-Racism School Is In Session and Dr. Raquel Martin of Mind Ya Mental, Curt and Katie make a direct case to white, cis, straight, and other majority-identity therapists: cultural humility is not a credential, fragility shifts the labor onto the people around you, and the strong feelings that come with ally work belong with other allies, not with clients or colleagues of color. This is an episode about staying in the room, decentering yourself, and learning to fail better.

In this episode, we discuss:

Ally work is ongoing. The goal is not to stop making mistakes. The goal is to keep failing better.

Full show notes and resources: mtsgpodcast.com

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The Seven Stages of Queer Love: Therapy with Queer Couples, Queer Sex, and the Developmental Model - An Interview with Tom Bruett, LMFT

Tom Bruett, LMFT on the seven stages of queer relationship development, the Developmental Model, queer couples therapy, and queer sex.

Curt and Katie talk with Tom Bruett, LMFT, founder of the Queer Relationship Institute, about what therapists most often get wrong when working with queer couples, why queer sex is still treated as an asterisk in most sex therapy training, and how the Developmental Model of Relationship Therapy can be expanded to better reflect queer experience.

Trained under Drs. Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson, Tom adds two stages to the five-stage Developmental Model: Second Queer Adolescence and Agreement. The expanded seven-stage model gives therapists a clearer way to track differentiation, autonomy, and connection in queer relationships that do not fit the standard "relationship escalator." Tom is the author of The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting Commitment (Jessica Kingsley Publishers).

This is a useful conversation for therapists working with queer couples, sex therapists, couples therapists trained in heteronormative models, and queer therapists looking for better tools and community for this work.

In this episode, we discuss:

- What therapists most often get wrong with queer couples and queer sex

- The Seven Stages of Queer Relationship Development, including Tom's two additions

- Why a "second queer adolescence" matters clinically

- Mutual interdependence versus codependence in gay male relationships

- Minority stress, the relationship escalator, and queer identity formation

- How the current political moment is showing up in queer couples therapy

- Trauma activation, nervous-system regulation, and slowing the work down

- Support for queer therapists working through a difficult cultural moment

Timestamps:

02:28 - What therapists get wrong with queer couples and queer sex

04:43 - Sex therapy training and the asterisk problem

08:20 - The Seven Stages of Queer Relationship Development

13:00 - Mutual interdependence versus codependence

17:39 - The relationship escalator and minority stress

21:14 - The current political moment in queer couples therapy

25:18 - Trauma, regulation, and slowing down the work

27:08 - Writing The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men

33:21 - Doing the work on the back end, not asking clients to educate you

34:13 - Where to find Tom and the Queer Relationship Institute

Guest Bio:

Tom Bruett, LMFT is a therapist, trainer, consultant, and author who works extensively with the queer community. He is the founder of the Queer Relationship Institute, which provides therapy for queer folx and training for therapists who work with queer relationships. Tom has trained under Drs. Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson in the Developmental Model of Relationship Therapy, which he now trains other therapists in. His book The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men: From Honeymoon to Lasting Commitment is published by JKP. Tom has spoken at national conferences including AASECT. Learn more at www.QueerRelationshipInstitute.com.

Full show notes and transcript: mtsgpodcast.com

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Modern Therapist's Consumer Guide: Paubox. HIPAA Compliant Email, Secure Communication, and Practice Privacy. An Interview with Hoala Greevy, Founder and CEO of Paubox

Curt and Katie talk with Hoala Greevy, Founder and CEO of Paubox, about what HIPAA compliant email actually requires, where standard Google Workspace and Microsoft 365 Business Associate Agreements leave gaps, and why most secure-portal solutions fail at the inbox. Paubox is a HIPAA compliant email security platform built to deliver encrypted messages straight to the recipient's inbox, without portals, plugins, or extra clicks.

Hoala explains how Paubox wraps around the email systems therapists already use, why domain ownership and TLS encryption matter, and how inbound threats like display-name spoofing affect small practices. The conversation also covers HITRUST certification, AI scraping, the Paubox Foundations, the Paubox Kahikina Scholarship supporting Native Hawaiian students in STEM, and how to evaluate a HIPAA compliant email vendor on security, reliability, and ease of use.

This episode is part of our Modern Therapist's Consumer Guide series. While this interview is a paid partnership, our discussion and opinions are our own.

In this episode, we discuss:

- Where standard Google and Microsoft BAAs leave HIPAA compliant email gaps

- Why most secure-portal solutions never get read on mobile

- How TLS encryption and secure email delivery actually work

- What domain ownership has to do with HIPAA compliance

- How Paubox integrates with Google Workspace and Microsoft 365

- Inbound threats, display-name spoofing, and ExecProtect

- HITRUST certification and how to evaluate a HIPAA compliant email vendor

Timestamps:

- 02:18 – What Paubox does and why it was created

- 05:19 – Mission, vision, and the Paubox Foundations

- 08:38 – What HIPAA compliant email actually requires

- 10:26 – The Google and Microsoft BAA gray area

- 14:48 – What the client experience looks like

- 21:09 – Inbound email security and display-name spoofing

- 24:32 – Data access, HITRUST certification, and trust

- 34:05 – Pricing, value, and the referral program

- 38:43 – Curt and Katie Chat: Our Review of Paubox

Guest Bio:

Hoala Greevy is the Founder and CEO of Paubox, a leading provider of HIPAA compliant email solutions for healthcare organizations. Born and raised in Honolulu, he founded Paubox after a meeting with the CEO of the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Hawai'i revealed a critical need for secure healthcare communication. Greevy supports Native Hawaiian students entering STEM and technology careers through the Paubox Kahikina Scholarship. Learn more at paubox.com.

Special Offer for Modern Therapist Listeners:

Get $250 off an annual Paubox plan. Visit paubox.com and use promo code MODERN.

Full show notes and transcript: mtsgpodcast.com

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Before You Refer to the Hospital: De-Escalation, Safety Planning, and Wraparound Care for Teens in Crisis

When a suicidal teen is in crisis, is the hospital really the safest call? What outpatient therapists need to know.

Curt Widhalm, LMFT, leads this episode from his work running a comprehensive DBT private practice in Los Angeles that specializes in higher-acuity adolescent cases, including teens with serious suicidality, self-harm, and emotional dysregulation. These are exactly the clients most often routed toward psychiatric hospitalization or platform-based care, and Curt argues the default-to-hospital reflex frequently makes things worse, not better.

Drawing on recent research and his clinical experience, Curt walks through the iatrogenic harms of adolescent psychiatric inpatient care, why post-discharge is the highest-risk window for completed suicide, and how clinician anxiety can drive premature 5150 holds and crisis referrals. Katie Vernoy, LMFT, joins with years of LPS-designated assessment experience from community mental health, naming what really happens when a teen gets sent in, including the relational rupture that often starts the moment a crisis evaluation is requested.

Together they show outpatient therapists, including solo practitioners, how to build the clinical infrastructure that makes hospital diversion a real option: standardized risk assessment, collaborative safety planning that starts at intake, verbal de-escalation, family-integrated care, and wraparound treatment teams that include both formal providers and informal natural supports.

This is a continuing education podcourse. Therapists can earn 1 CE credit through the Modern Therapist Learning Community at moderntherapistcommunity.com.

What you'll take away:

- How to recognize when a teen client really needs inpatient care, and when escalation will cause more harm than help

- How to use standardized risk assessment tools (C-SSRS, LRAMP) without losing the therapeutic relationship

- How to build a safety plan that actually works, and what to leave out (hint: no-suicide contracts)

- What to teach parents about verbal de-escalation and environmental modifications at home

- How to construct a mini Intensive Outpatient Program inside a solo or small-group practice

- Who belongs on a wraparound treatment team, and how to find informal supports that families often forget to mention

- How systemic barriers and health disparities shape access and outcomes for Black, Hispanic, and lower-SES adolescents

Timestamps:

00:15 - CE intro and how to earn 1 CE credit

05:17 - Why outpatient therapists need real de-escalation protocols

11:23 - What actually happens during a crisis evaluation, with Katie's LPS-designated insights

18:46 - Iatrogenic harm and post-discharge suicide risk in adolescents

26:27 - Distant admissions, capped beds, and reentry into school and community

30:43 - Building safety plans from the first session, not the first crisis

34:32 - What belongs in a comprehensive adolescent safety plan

41:05 - When a teen says "I want to die," and why language matters

47:27 - Family-integrated care in solo private practice

48:56 - Building a mini IOP without the institutional overhead

55:29 - Wraparound teams and the role of informal natural supports

59:51 - ROIs, HIPAA-compliant communication, and minor consent

1:01:00 - Health disparities and access for marginalized adolescents

Earn 1 CE credit:

Therapists can earn 1 CE credit for this episode through the Modern Therapist Learning Community. Register, purchase the course, pass the post-test, and complete the evaluation to receive your certificate. Therapy Reimagined is approved by the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (CAMFT CEPA #132270). Please check with your licensing board to confirm eligibility.

Full show notes, references, and transcript: mtsgpodcast.com

CE enrollment: moderntherapistcommunity.com

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Inside the Troubled Teen Industry: Wilderness Therapy, Residential Treatment, and the Harm Done to Kids – An Interview with

Dr. Will Dobud and survivor advocate Chelsea Maldonado on wilderness therapy, residential treatment, institutional abuse, and what therapists need to know to support troubled teen industry survivors. 

Curt and Katie talk with Dr. Will Dobud and Chelsea Maldonado about what actually happens inside the troubled teen industry, why the marketing rarely matches the reality, and how wilderness therapy programs and residential treatment facilities continue to operate despite decades of survivor testimony, documented abuse, and youth deaths. 

The conversation covers why so many adopted youth and foster youth end up in these facilities, how restraints, isolation, and medical neglect produce lasting trauma, and why power dynamics and institutional structure undermine real therapeutic work. Will and Chelsea also discuss the silence of professional associations after youth deaths, the recent Atlantis Leadership Academy case in Jamaica, and what therapists working with troubled teen industry survivors can do to create safer therapeutic relationships. 

In this episode, we discuss: 

What therapists get wrong about wilderness therapy and residential treatment

Why "round the clock therapy" marketing rarely matches the reality inside facilities

How restraints, isolation, and medical neglect cause lasting harm

Why adopted youth and foster youth are disproportionately placed in these programs

The role of power dynamics and institutional structure in the troubled teen industry

Why survivors are highly traumatized and highly therapy resistant

How therapists can work more safely and effectively with survivors

The silence of professional associations after youth deaths in licensed, accredited facilities 

Timestamps: 

07:34 – What actually happens inside troubled teen industry facilities

13:04 – Katie reflects on her own residential treatment experience

16:28 – Common harms: restraints, medical neglect, sexual abuse

19:38 – Power, conversion-style programming, and adopted youth

24:31 – Why these facilities still exist

28:07 – Attachment, restraints, and institutional contradictions

33:00 – What actually helps youth in crisis

38:14 – The Atlantis Leadership Academy case and survivor-led advocacy 

Guests:

Dr. Will Dobud, Senior Lecturer in Social Work at Charles Sturt University and former wilderness therapy field guide whose research focuses on improving outcomes for teenagers and exposing harm in the troubled teen industry (willdobud.com).

Chelsea Maldonado, troubled teen industry survivor, lead researcher for the Trapped in Treatment podcast, and consultant to Paris Hilton's nonprofit 11:11 Media Impact (1111mediaimpact.com). 

Full show notes and transcript: mtsgpodcast.com 

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Why Therapists Stop Working with Kids and What It Takes to Stay: Sustainability, Boundaries, and Pivots for the Long Haul

Curt Widhalm, LMFT, and Katie Vernoy, LMFT push back on the field's quiet stereotype that working with kids is the "starter home" of private practice, the place clinicians put in time before graduating to a cardigan and a wing-back chair. Working with kids and teens is not entry-level work. It is some of the most clinically and physically demanding work in the profession, and it has a sustainability problem that rarely gets named honestly.

Curt and Katie examine why so many therapists who work with kids and teens hit a wall around the five-year mark, and why that wall is rarely about clinical depth. They unpack the sensory toll, the parent communication load, the school and provider coordination, the cost of running a play therapy room, and the way a child caseload can quietly distort a clinician's sense of what is developmentally typical.

They also talk about how to build a long-haul career working with kids, teens, and families without becoming, in Curt's words, "a cynical, glitter-covered shell of a human being." This is a conversation for therapists in private practice, supervisors of clinicians who work with minors, and anyone weighing whether to keep working with kids, scale back, or pivot.

Full show notes and resources: mtsgpodcast.com

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/therapyreimagined

Music by Crystal Grooms Mangano — https://groomsymusic.com/

When Good Moms Feel Bad: Supporting Mothers in Therapy with IFS and the Mom Parts Method – An Interview with Jessica Tomich Sorci, LMFT

Jessica Tomich Sorci, LMFT, creator of the Mom Parts Method, on IFS, maternal mental health, mom shame, and why "bad mom" parts are protectors, not problems.

Curt and Katie talk with Jessica Tomich Sorci, LMFT about what therapists often miss when working with mothers, and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) can be adapted for the real conditions of motherhood. Jessica is the creator of the Mom Parts Method and author of When Good Moms Feel Bad: An Empowering Guide for Transforming Guilt, Anxiety and Anger into Compassion, Confidence and Connectedness (Balance, 2026).

Drawing on more than fifteen years of clinical work in maternal mental health, Jessica translates IFS into accessible, motherhood-native language. The Mom Parts Method gives mothers simple tools to identify their parts, access their Inner Mom, and approach guilt, grief, rage, and overwhelm with curiosity instead of correction.

This is a useful conversation for therapists working with mothers, perinatal mental health clinicians, and anyone interested in more affirming, non-pathologizing approaches to maternal mental health.

In this episode, we discuss:

Full show notes and transcript: mtsgpodcast.com

Timestamps:

Guest Bio:

Jessica Tomich Sorci, LMFT is a Level 3 Certified IFS Therapist, IFSI Approved Clinical Consultant, and a Certified Perinatal Mental Health therapist (PMH-C) with advanced training in IFIO. She is the creator of the Mom Parts Method and author of When Good Moms Feel Bad (Balance, 2026). She trains clinicians through her Mothercentered certification program. Learn more at www.momparts.com.

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Why Fixing Teens Doesn’t Work and What Actually Helps Youth Mental Health: An Interview with Dr. Will Dobud

Curt and Katie talk with Dr. Will Dobud about what therapists often get wrong when working with teens, why adolescent behavior is so often overpathologized, and how connection, play, risk, and mastery can better support youth mental health. They also explore the so-called youth mental health crisis, the impact of overmanagement and disconnection, and what therapists can do to better engage young people in meaningful, developmentally appropriate ways.

About Our Guest
Dr. Will Dobud is a social worker, researcher, and educator who has worked with adolescents and families in the United States, Australia, and Norway. He is a Senior Lecturer in Social Work at Charles Sturt University and an award-winning researcher focused on improving therapy outcomes for teenagers and promoting safe, ethical practices. His work has also examined America’s Troubled Teen Industry, especially wilderness therapy.

Key Takeaways

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The Burden of Potential: Therapy for Gifted Adults Navigating Burnout, Identity, and 2e Considerations

Gifted adults do not usually come to therapy naming giftedness as the issue. More often, they present with burnout, anxiety, depression, underperformance, identity confusion, relationship strain, or existential distress. In this continuing education episode, Katie Vernoy and Curt Widhalm explore how gifted adults show up in therapy, how to distinguish giftedness from high achievement, and how 2e considerations can complicate assessment and treatment.

Curt and Katie discuss the hidden cost of success, including masking, perfectionism, chronic overfunctioning, executive functioning workarounds, code-switching, and the pressure of living up to potential. They also look at what helps in therapy: deeper assessment, intellectual attunement, self-compassion, sustainability, accommodations, and values-aligned treatment.

In this podcast episode, we discuss:

This episode is eligible for 1 CE credit through the Modern Therapist Learning Community. To receive CE credit, listen to the episode, register for your free profile at moderntherapistcommunity.com, purchase the course, pass the post-test, and complete the evaluation.

Full show notes, transcript, and episode resources will be available at mtsgpodcast.com.

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