The Offensive

It's the first Premier League win of the season for Ashwood City and it comes on the road at West Ham. For Patrick, Woody and Jess the celebrations are on hold as matchday goalscorer and prized asset Kyle Francis-Clarke has gone AWOL in London following the unexpected victory.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Additional Voices:

Lucy-Jane Quinlan

Thomas Mitchells

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Europa League campaign kicks off in Rome, as Ashwood City take on AS Roma in their opening group game. Tensions with Kieran Broom continue to worsen as the side face a difficult challenge away from home. 

Esmonde Cole as KFC

Allon Sylvain as Eric van Smit

Adam Jarrell as Chris Well

Additional Voices:

Nalan Burgess

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Joel Emery 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The International break is over and Premier League football returns to Dartley Park as Ashwood City take on league leaders; Liverpool. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan has his work cut out to repair his relationships and reputation after the decision to relinquish the captaincy from Kieran Broom.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Additional Voices:

Rhys Tees

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The club react to the sad news that Ashwood legend Gerry Harkness has passed away. Meanwhile, Patrick's dubious financial endeavours are beginning to catch up with him as local journalist Gareth McAskill is tipped off. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Additional Voices:

Nalan Burgess

Rhys Tees

Vanessa Emery

Lucinda Shaw

Luke Stevenson

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Following a home defeat to Wolves, Patrick and Woody find themselves waiting outside new Head Coach Eric Van Smit's office. With no confidence and no signal - the pair must formulate a plan to let the Head Coach know exactly how they feel about Ashwood's torrid start to the season. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger

Additional Voices:

Lucinda Shaw

Luke Stevenson

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After a disappointing draw with newly-promoted Sheffield United, the Ashwood City fans want answers. The Club's hierarchy, however, have other issues to attend to. An unfortunate traffic jam only adds to the problems of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Additional Voices:

Thomas Mitchells

Esmonde Cole

Lucinda Shaw

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ashwood kick off their season away to Burnley and immediately face consequences from the result. With weeks of excessive spending behind him; Patrick is desperate to fix any squad issues before the next matchday. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Esmonde Cole as Howard Jagger

Additional Voices:

Nalan Burgess

Thomas Mitchells

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After a summer of discontent, another managerial sacking and a few (mostly Dutch) signings, the new season is almost underway. 

With the initial difficulties of the transfer window, Ashwood's troubles deepen after the release of an indecent image allegedly picturing a member of the playing staff. 

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Additional Voices:

Allon Sylvain

John Brannoch

Rhys Tees

Nalan Burgess

Thomas Mitchells

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The game is underway. The only thing standing between Ashwood City and Europa League football is Fulham FC. Woody is still nowhere to be seen as the tentative first half draws to a close.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan  

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Additional voices:

Lucinda Shaw

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

This is a Primley Limited Production.

Copyright 2019

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The takeover is under threat with an unexpected victory at Leicester City. With other league results in their favour, Ashwood find themselves in 7th and currently qualifying for the UEFA Europa League; which would cancel the sale due to the current ownership's stipulations on European football. Patrick Nolan is left to find a way to ensure the deal goes through and the chances of finishing 7th are quashed.

Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan  

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison

Rhys Tees as Hutch Lewis

Elliot Gindi as Mohamed Al-Zawi

Additional voices:

Nalan Burgess

Lucinda Shaw

Episode written by:

Joel Emery

Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery

WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. 

Listener discretion is advised.

This is a Primley Limited Production.

Copyright 2019

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.