Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

The Physiological Impacts of Connection (Which is Actually More Important Than Exercise) with Dr. Zarya Rubin


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How much Vitamin J are you getting in your life?

In today’s episode, we’re talking with Dr. Zarya Rubin, a Harvard educated functional medicine physician, and one of the questions she often asks patients is about whether they’re experiencing enough joy and connection.

Though there’s a societal push for more exercise and more kale, connection is actually one of the MOST important things you can do for your physiological health. According to a documentary we both love – Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones – regular human connection could add 15 years to your life. Lack of connection is similar to smoking 20 cigarettes a day.

I saw Dr. Rubin give a TED Talk here in Seattle a few weeks ago on burnout, and I am so grateful that she was able to come onto the podcast today. This will not be the last time we talk about this but it is definitely an amazing foundational episode to start to explore this topic.


In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • The impact of stress, increasing cortisol levels and trickling into other parts of your body
  • The studies that have recently come out about college students who entered school during the pandemic
  • Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones and the 15-year impact connection can have on your life expectancy
  • Loose ties, relational diversity, and how interactions at coffee shops can not only change your day but impact your long-term health
  • Technology’s impact on in-person connection and how to get in touch with your fun side


Resources & Links:

Learn more about Dr. Zarya Rubin on her website  where you can access her free Burnout to Balance Toolkit and follow her on Instagram.

Check out Episodes 38 and 39, which are about third places;  Episode 41, which is about the Liking Gap; Episode 4 (What is a Friend?); and Episode 69, about learned loneliness.

Check out the book Zarya recommends, Find Your Unicorn Space by Eve Rodsky and the documentary Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones.

Check out the Mel Robbins Podcast episode about finding your people.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!


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Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

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