Sara Brewer is a certified life and faith-based coach, and a Latter-day Saint. She has helped hundreds of people quit porn through her coaching programs and helped thousands of people through her highly-rated podcast, Overcome Pornography for Good. In this podcast, Sara shares a presentation that is now part of the Liberating Saints Virtual Conference.

02:50 Introduction to Sara Brewer, a life coach for people that struggle with pornography use.

05:15 Sara helps both men and women with pornography.

06:15 Sara introduces her presentation and the main root causes.

07:20 The first root of pornography use is ESCAPE AND BUFFERING.

14:00 Shame only makes porn use worse. A lot of members get into a shame cycle with porn use and it never ends.

16:10 The difference between guilt and shame. Holding onto guilt turns into shame.

17:00 It’s not either shame or justification. There are middle ground emotions that are going to be more useful in helping people quit.

18:00 It’s important to differentiate physiology and morality.

20:10 Application for leaders. Be careful with punishment and adding to shame.

21:10 Leaders need to stop focusing on behavior but underlying emotions.

22:00 Using a filter is a good tool to use but it’s not a long-term solution for porn use and addiction.

25:30 Guilt should not be a motivator. It’s more of a signal that something doesn’t align with our values.

26:40 Root two is OVER DESIRE.

32:00 Willpower doesn’t work. It’s like holding a beach ball under water. It wants to pop up. Allow the urges and emotions to pass through without getting the reward.

35:20 Sara’s technique to help people overcome over desire for porn. Stop, drop, and breathe.

38:20 Applications for leaders

40:10 Instead of distracting yourself, sit with the emotions.

44:40 Too often we hear a lot of all or nothing phrases in the bishop’s office. If you can go x amount of days without porn then you can take the sacrament.

46:00 Root three is IDENTITY.

47:10 How we think about ourselves really matters. It gives us energy for our actions.

48:20 Not everyone that uses porn has an addiction. Most young men and women are not addicted. Be careful about labeling people with an addiction. It can be harmful to them.

50:00 Applications for leaders

55:20 Bishops should consider sending people to a life coach. They shouldn’t dismiss life coaches. They can work side by side with therapists.

59:20 Sara has many resources for members. She offers programs with group calls or one-on-one appointments.

1:01:00 Sara’s final encouragement to leaders who are trying to help those that are struggling with pornography

The Leading Saints Podcast is one of the top independent Latter-day Saints podcasts as part of nonprofit Leading Saints’ mission to help Latter-day Saints be better prepared to lead. Learn more and listen to any of the past episodes for free at LeadingSaints.org.

Past guests include Emily Belle Freeman, David Butler, Hank Smith, John Bytheway, Reyna and Elena Aburto, Liz Wiseman, Stephen M. R. Covey, Julie Beck, Brad Wilcox, Jody Moore, Tony Overbay, John H. Groberg, Elaine Dalton, Tad R. Callister, Lynn G. Robbins, J. Devn Cornish, Bonnie Oscarson, Dennis B. Neuenschwander, Anthony Sweat, John Hilton III, Barbara Morgan Gardner, Blair Hodges, Whitney Johnson, Ryan Gottfredson, Greg McKeown, Ganel-Lyn Condie, Michael Goodman, Wendy Ulrich, Richard Ostler, Kirby Heyborne, and many more in over 700 episodes.

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