The Sportive

Two days after Christmas, we all went over to Aaron Gleeman's house and recorded a podcast. Because of the noise, and the echoes in Aaron's unfurnished basement, the result is virtually unlistenable, but we had an excellent time doing it. Brandon was actually in the studio for once, Stu was in fine form, and Jon was wearing headphones for some reason for the whole time. Also, thanks to the following people for being guests:

• Heather Balgaard
• Dylan Dragswiek
• Holly Manthei
• Nick Nelson
• Michael Rand
• Aaron Gleeman
• Parker Hageman
• Zach Floyd
• Patrick Donnelly
• John Sharkman, live via satellite... well, via tape delay at least
• Stu's wife Mandy
  
• Jon's girlfriend Lisa

Please pardon this disaster, and merry Christmas!

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ESPN1500’s Patrick Donnelly pops his Sportive cherry as we discuss:

• The all-time best Gopher basketball player names
• The punchable Bo Ryan
• New Ulm festivals
• Our most-hated Germans
• Sid and TK tales
• Pelfrey the Super Soldier
• Johnny Football (Clarence is at full mast) and the Vikes draft outlook
• Even more tangents than usual

And Stu drops some BREAKING NEWS by revealing the person behind the “Carl Gerbschmidt” character. Good talk, have a listen.

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The playlist for this music-centric episode:

- Vikings Draft Breakdown, featuring Johnny Football

- More Wolves Arguing featuring Hobbie Rummel

- Un-fun Wild Projections featuring Dany Heatley's corpse

- Our Pessimistic Twins Outlook featuring Matt Garza's soul patch

- And most importantly, our long-anticipated top-5 songs off “Rumours” segment

We also solidified our standing as the internet’s premier place for updates on Rock & Roll Zumhofe. And as usual, singing and cat sounds.

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The Sports Fist welcomes first-time guest and freestyle enthusiast Nick Nelson to do a deep dive on the recent signings of Rocky Nabisco and Paulie Huge. Nelson at one point predicted the 2014 hometown nine could “be sort of in it for maybe a while,” clearly giving absolutely zero effs about the ramifications of what could be seen as overly bold prognosticating.

After the Twins talk, we for-real argue about the Wolves, engage in our now-famous Guest Interrogation and discuss terrible Christmas songs. Also Nick mentions his love for Twista. Good stuff.

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Clarence returns to the fold as we discuss:

- The Luc Shake-Shake-Shake Mbah A Moute trade (Stu gives a B-, Brandon a C-)

- Patrick Roy rant from Clarence

- Gopher hoops and football

- Vikings rest of season outlook (forecast: NOT GREAT)

- A St. Cloud State hockey rant from Clarence

- Our Christmas podcast teaser

- Thanksgiving dinner options

- Random odds and ends: the Dookie & Nacho cop drama, Killwagon murders, the Ypsilanti Bucks and tailored sweatpants.

Really enjoyed this one.

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Since Clarence abandoned us again, we brought in a guest who’s even more Clarence than Clarence himself. Josh Fiedler joined us for an episode so Outstate Minnesota the only way you’ll be able to hear it is by leaning on a 1989 i-Roc. Topics (I swear to god this is what we talked about) include:

- Best country songs

- Josh’s insider scorched-earth stories from his days as a Vikings writer (Rosey, Wobby and PA take a hit)

- Stearns County dive bars

- Bloody mary recipes

- Super Tecmo Bowl

- Zubaz

- Canning (?)

- Rock picking (???)

Like I said, super outstate. Nice thing is, if you get through the whole thing a free pair of Carhartt coveralls will pop out of your computer’s CD drive. So that’s something.

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Clarence was MIA this week so we didn’t hit our quota of government conspiracies, ethnic food rants and f-words. What we did discuss:

• Mauer and the Coom Trap (great band name, btw)
• Caroling with Gleeman and the Geek
• Playing “Will This Last” featuring the Wolves
• Carnie homicides
• The reason for the Gopher football turnaround
• Halfhearted shrugging over the Wild, Vikings and Gopher hoops
• A cappella performances by Sarah McLachlan and GNR

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The Strib’s digital hotshot and illegal pug-breeder Michael Rand joins the crew for their usual gab sesh that includes:

- Griping about the Wolves and Wild even though they’re competent

- Regrettably optimistic Gopher football reactions

- Laughing for an hour straight at Ponder’s hail mary toss

- Gopher basketball preview

- BREAKING NEWS about a recruit that's picking Minnesota

- Odds & ends that include Gopher puck, live-broadcasting the CMAs, Spielman bashing and uncalled-for Taylor Swift potshots. Plus some a cappella Axl for those that stick around to the end.

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What we learned this week:

- There are a few reasons to continue watching the Vikings, none of them are valid

- Draft strategies with Stu Kiper

- Brandon is done griping about Flip (lie)

- College football is the best

- The Jerry Kill situation is...complicated

- The Wild are terrible

- The Sports Fist is always right and should be running every sports organization in Minnesota

- We've never heard of the Gleeman & the Geek podcast

Plus asides and sound glitches and unfair tit-yanking of Jon. Solid episode, gang. Time to press play.

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A few of the many hundred topics touched on tonight by the Sports Fist:

• Hating the Cardinals
• Brandon’s GM plan for the Wolves
• Another round of #asksportive
• Clarence’s supper club
• Dancing grandmas
• Toddler swears
• Whether or not RT Rybak plays for the Lynx

Thanks to the listener questions and to Mrs. Stu for providing the laugh track.

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