Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

The Surprising Benefits of a Friendship Pause


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Picture this: you're staring at a text thread with your friend, and you realize you've had the same argument three times the past month. You love this person … but right now, you kind of can't stand them. 

Today, we're talking about friendship pauses. Let me be clear: this isn't ghosting, breaking up, the silent treatment, or a passive-aggressive power move. A friendship pause is an intentional choice to create space to reflect, make changes, and do some individual growth.

Here’s the caveat: the eventual goal is to actually do the work to REPAIR the friendship.

Michael and I use this phrase in our marriage that I think applies to friendships, too. Every time you work through a lower low, you reach a higher high. Instead of thinking of a friendship pause as sad, think of it as a possibility for this whole new version of a friendship that you’re going to feel more aligned with.


In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • Reasons a friendship pause might be necessary, including communication issues, energy or emotional issues, and changes in life circumstances
  • Questions to ask yourself before you take a friendship pause, like, what’s the reason for the pause? Are you willing to do the work to repair this friendship?
  • Why working through a low point in a friendship can lead to stronger beliefs and a more resilient connection


Resources & Links

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!


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Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

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