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When Eights Finally Trust: Power, Vulnerability & Faith with Deanna Sudom

Wholehearted Enneagram: A Year Through the Types | Type Eight | Episode 1 of 4

What if the most powerful person in the room is also the most guarded, and for very good reason?

Enneagram Eights are often misread as bulldozers. The memes paint them as intense, controlling, and hard to be around. But underneath that strength is something most people never get close enough to see: one of the most tender, loyal, justice-driven hearts in the entire Enneagram.

In this episode, Amy sits down with spiritual director and co-teacher Deanna Sudom to open the Wholehearted Enneagram Eight month. Together they explore what's really driving the Eight's intensity, why vulnerability feels so costly to them, and what it looks like when an Eight finally learns to trust God, others, and themselves.

Both Amy and Deanna are raising Enneagram Eight daughters, which means this conversation comes with a level of tenderness and firsthand insight you won't find in a meme.

Whether you're an Eight, love an Eight, or just need to access your inner Eight this season, this episode is for you.

In this episode:

• What most people miss about the Eight's assertiveness and anger
• The core fear driving the Eight's need for control and what they're really longing for
• False scripts the Eight might believe, and the voice of love that counters each one
• Why vulnerability feels like weakness to an Eight and why that's worth examining
• How Eights experience God, where they connect, and where they resist
• The spiritual practice that can shift everything: naming vulnerability out loud
• A scripture that reframes weakness as the very place God's power shows up

Deanna Sudom is a spiritual director and co-teacher on the Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast.

https://www.simplywholehearted.com/deanna-sudom

https://www.capstonefreedomcoaching.com/

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RESOURCES FOR YOU:

Join the Waitlist for 1:1 Coaching with Amy Wicks

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Ennea-what? The Beginners Guide to the Enneagram
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The Nine's Sacred Desire | Why Your Wants Matter to God with Marilyn Vancil

Wholehearted Enneagram: A Year Through the Types | Type Nine | Episode 4 of 4

Do your desires actually matter to God, or are you supposed to keep setting them aside?

For Enneagram Nines, that question cuts deep. When your default is to merge, accommodate, and keep the peace, knowing what you even want can feel impossible. And trusting that God cares about those wants? Even harder.

In this conversation, Amy sits down with Marilyn Vancil, Enneagram author, spiritual director, and fellow Nine, to explore the sacred journey of desire for the Type Nine. They unpack why Nines struggle to identify and claim their desires, how the distorted longing for union can pull a Nine right out of herself, and what it looks like to surrender to God without disappearing in the process.

Marilyn also shares a personal and surprisingly vulnerable moment about the "mirage," a word that stopped her cold when she encountered it in her own story.

Whether you're a Nine trying to figure out what you actually want, or you love a Nine and want to understand them better, this episode will meet you with patience, depth, and a lot of grace.

In this episode:

• Why Nines have a "vague sense of self" and what that has to do with desire
• The three subtypes of the Nine and how desire shows up differently in each
• Why stubbornness in a Nine is actually a red flag worth paying attention to
• The John the Baptist misquote that keeps Nines small, and the truth that sets them free
• How to love a Nine well when they're learning to claim what they want

Resources: 

Self to Lose - Self to Find: A Biblical Approach to the 9 Enneagram Types 

Beyond the Enneagram: An Invitation to Experience a More Centered Life with God

Support the show

RESOURCES FOR YOU:

Join the Waitlist for 1:1 Coaching with Amy Wicks

https://www.simplywholehearted.com/callamywicks

Not sure about your Enneagram Type? Start here: https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneagramquiz

Ennea-what? The Beginners Guide to the Enneagram
(free course + printables)
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Where do Type 9s get stuck, and how do they move forward?

Wholehearted Enneagram: A Year Through the Types | Type Nine | Episode 3 of 4

In this episode, Amy and Jilann (a Type 9 and Wholehearted Coach for quiet leaders) walk through the four roles that show up in the Nine's journey: Victim, Villain, Hero, and Guide.

You'll discover: 

• Where Nines get stuck in Victim energy (and why conflict feels like a personal threat) 
• How Villain energy shows up as passive-aggression and quiet stubbornness 
• What it looks like when a Nine steps into Hero energy and claims their voice 
• The difference between being a peacekeeper (avoiding conflict) and a peacemaker (creating true peace) 
• The False Script vs. Voice of Love for Type 9 
• Practical answers to real questions: How do I know if I'm actually a 9? How do I help my Nine spouse? What's the first step toward growth?

This episode gives you the framework for understanding the Nine's journey—whether you're in the middle of it or just beginning.

If you're a Nine, you'll hear that wherever you are in this journey, feeling unheard, struggling with resentment, taking your first brave steps, or learning to sustain your voice, you're exactly where you need to be.

You don't have to have it all figured out. Just take the next right step.

Your presence brings peace. You don't have to go along to belong.

Connect with Jilann Carlson here: https://www.jilenneagram.com/

Listen to her Strength in Numbers Podcast:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/strength-in-numbers-an-enneagram-centered-podcast/id1638164115

Support the show

RESOURCES FOR YOU:

Join the Waitlist for 1:1 Coaching with Amy Wicks

https://www.simplywholehearted.com/callamywicks

Not sure about your Enneagram Type? Start here: https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneagramquiz

Ennea-what? The Beginners Guide to the Enneagram
(free course + printables)
https://bit.ly/Enneagram101Guide

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Wholehearted Enneagram: A Year Through the Types | Type 9  | Episode 2 of 4

What does transformation actually look like for an Enneagram Nine?

In this episode, Amy talks with Meredith Davis, an Enneagram 9 who's been walking the Wholehearted Transformation Journey. Meredith shares honestly about the moment she stopped using the Enneagram as an excuse ("this is just how I am") and started doing the deeper work.

You'll hear about: 

• Why Meredith initially mistyped herself and how she finally landed on Type 9 
• The breaking point that made her realize she couldn't stay stuck anymore 
• The surprising stubbornness of Type 9 (and how it shows up sideways) 
• How her faith journey intersected with learning to find her voice 
• A birthday story that perfectly illustrates what it looks like to claim agency as a Nine 
• The practice of gratitude vs. rumination (and why Nines need this distinction) 
• What she'd tell a Nine who's just starting this journey

This isn't about having it all figured out. It's about taking brave steps, stumbling, growing, and discovering that your starting point doesn't have to be your stuck point.

If you're a Nine (or you love one), Meredith's story will help you see that speaking up doesn't destroy connection, it creates the kind of honest relationship you've been longing for.

Your presence brings peace. You don't have to go along to belong.

Thank Meredith, for sharing her story: 

email: [email protected]

Instagram:  meredith_irene_davis 

Support the show

RESOURCES FOR YOU:

Join the Waitlist for 1:1 Coaching with Amy Wicks

https://www.simplywholehearted.com/callamywicks

Not sure about your Enneagram Type? Start here: https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneagramquiz

Ennea-what? The Beginners Guide to the Enneagram
(free course + printables)
https://bit.ly/Enneagram101Guide

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Wholehearted Enneagram: A Year Through the Types | Type Nine, Episode 1 of 4

What if the most peaceful person in the room is also the one most in need of courage?

This month, we begin with Enneagram Type Nine, and Amy kicks off the conversation with her co-teacher and spiritual director, Deanna Sudom. Together, they explore what makes Nines so uniquely gifted (that rare ability to bring calm, see every side, and hold space for everyone) and what keeps them stuck.

You'll hear about:

• The Nine's core fear of being overlooked, fragmented, or disconnected, and how it quietly shapes their choices
• Why Nines aren't lazy, they're numb, and the difference matters
• How Nines experience God (hint: it's often felt more than figured out)
• The surprising stubbornness that hides underneath all that easygoing presence
• A Joshua 1 practice for the Nine who is ready to stop staying small

Whether you're a Nine yourself or you love one, this conversation is an invitation: God isn't asking you to stay quiet. He's asking you to wake up, speak up, and trust that your voice doesn't disrupt the peace; it creates it.

Your presence brings peace. You don't have to go along to belong.

Support the show

RESOURCES FOR YOU:

Join the Waitlist for 1:1 Coaching with Amy Wicks

https://www.simplywholehearted.com/callamywicks

Not sure about your Enneagram Type? Start here: https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneagramquiz

Ennea-what? The Beginners Guide to the Enneagram
(free course + printables)
https://bit.ly/Enneagram101Guide

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Wholehearted Storywork BONUS Episode (part 5)

Before we move into our Type-specific series, there's one more pattern we need to talk about, a place where many women get stuck BEFORE they ever step into their Hero moment.

In this bonus episode of the Wholehearted Storywork series, Amy explores the Sidekick stuck point, not as a lesser role, but as a protective pattern in which we use service, support, and "being helpful" to avoid claiming our own agency and stepping into our own story.

This conversation gently names how "I'm just here to help" can become a hiding place rather than a calling, and why recognizing this pattern is essential before you can truly awaken Hero energy.

You'll explore:

• Why the Sidekick pattern often forms before the Hero awakening, not after.
• How serving others can become a way to avoid your own calling.
• The difference between faithful service and hiding behind helpfulness.
• When Sidekick energy is a stuck point versus when it's a mature, faithful season.
• Why this pattern is especially common among Christian women.
• How Type Nine energy illustrates this stuck point (and why we're starting there next month).

This episode isn't about stopping your service or diminishing the value of supporting others.

It's about asking: Am I serving from wholeness, or am I serving to stay safe?

If you've ever felt invisible while being incredibly useful, if you've championed everyone else's dreams while dismissing your own, or if the idea of pursuing your own calling feels selfish, this conversation will meet you exactly where you are.

Sometimes the most courageous act is stepping out of the wings and into your own story.

Support the show

RESOURCES FOR YOU:

Join the Waitlist for 1:1 Coaching with Amy Wicks

https://www.simplywholehearted.com/callamywicks

Not sure about your Enneagram Type? Start here: https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneagramquiz

Ennea-what? The Beginners Guide to the Enneagram
(free course + printables)
https://bit.ly/Enneagram101Guide

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Wholehearted Storywork Part 4 

After you've named the pain, let go of control, and stepped into agency, a question emerges: How do I sustain this?

In this final episode of the Wholehearted Storywork series, Amy explores the Guide role, not as someone who has arrived or finished their own story, but as someone who has stayed with their healing long enough to walk alongside others without needing to control the outcome.

This conversation reframes what it means to guide and be guided, and why formation is a lifelong journey that requires wisdom, presence, and ongoing support.

You'll explore: 

• What a Guide is (and isn't) in wholehearted formation.
• Why Guides still need guidance and haven't "graduated" from their own healing.
• How Hero energy becomes sustainable through wisdom over time. 
• The Holy Spirit as the true Guide in your life.
• Why you don't have to have it all together to walk with others

This episode isn't about becoming an authority or arriving at spiritual maturity.

It's about learning how to stay present with your own story so you can offer that same presence to others.

If you've been on this wholehearted journey and are wondering what comes next, or if you've realized that even good changes need support to last, this conversation offers a vision of formation that doesn't end but deepens.

Guides don't guide because they're finished; they guide because they've learned how to stay.

Support the show

RESOURCES FOR YOU:

Join the Waitlist for 1:1 Coaching with Amy Wicks

https://www.simplywholehearted.com/callamywicks

Not sure about your Enneagram Type? Start here: https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneagramquiz

Ennea-what? The Beginners Guide to the Enneagram
(free course + printables)
https://bit.ly/Enneagram101Guide

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Wholehearted Storywork Part 3

When you've named the pain and released the need to control, something powerful awakens.

A choice.

In this third episode of the Wholehearted Storywork series, Amy explores the Hero role, not as hustle or self-reliance, but as the moment you realize you have agency in your own story.

This conversation honors the courage it takes to step forward while gently exploring why even your best efforts can become exhausting when carried alone.

You'll explore: 

• What it means to awaken agency without falling into self-reliance.
• Why Hero energy is necessary for healing to move forward.
• The difference between choosing courageously and carrying everything alone. 
• How effort and insight can start transformation, but wisdom helps it last.
• Why you were never meant to be the hero in everyone else's story.

This episode isn't about doing more or trying harder.

It's about recognizing the moments when you realize: "I don't have to stay here. I can choose differently."

If you've ever taken a brave step forward only to find yourself exhausted months later, or if you're wondering how to sustain the changes you've courageously made, this conversation offers clarity and compassion for the journey ahead.

Your Hero moments matter.

Support the show

RESOURCES FOR YOU:

Join the Waitlist for 1:1 Coaching with Amy Wicks

https://www.simplywholehearted.com/callamywicks

Not sure about your Enneagram Type? Start here: https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneagramquiz

Ennea-what? The Beginners Guide to the Enneagram
(free course + printables)
https://bit.ly/Enneagram101Guide

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Wholehearted Storywork – Part 2

When pain goes unhealed, it doesn’t disappear. It often turns into protection.

In this second episode of the Wholehearted Storywork series, Amy explores the Villain role, not as a label for bad people, but as a pattern that forms when fear, self-protection, or unresolved hurt begins to shape our choices.

This conversation gently reframes villain energy as a response to pain rather than a moral failure, and invites you to notice where control, defensiveness, or blame may have quietly replaced trust.

You’ll explore:

• How unprocessed pain can harden the heart over time
• Why the Villain role is often about protection, not cruelty
• The difference between repentance and self-condemnation
• How fear and control can quietly rewrite the story you’re living
• Why awareness (not shame) is the first step toward freedom

This episode isn’t about diagnosing yourself or others.
 It’s about noticing the ways we try to stay safe when healing feels risky.

If you’ve ever recognized patterns you don’t like in yourself, or wondered how pain can slowly distort the way you relate to God and others, this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and a more hopeful way forward.

Awareness doesn’t make you the villain. It helps you choose a better story.

Support the show

RESOURCES FOR YOU:

Join the Waitlist for 1:1 Coaching with Amy Wicks

https://www.simplywholehearted.com/callamywicks

Not sure about your Enneagram Type? Start here: https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneagramquiz

Ennea-what? The Beginners Guide to the Enneagram
(free course + printables)
https://bit.ly/Enneagram101Guide

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Wholehearted Storywork Part 1

Pain changes you. Loss, disappointment, betrayal, or suffering can quietly shape how you see yourself, God, and the world.

In this first episode of the Wholehearted Storywork series, Amy introduces the Victim role, not as an identity to reject or a mentality to shame, but as a place in the story where real pain is named and honored.

This conversation explores the difference between acknowledging harm and becoming stuck in it, and how Scripture invites you into holy lament rather than denial, blame, or self-erasure.

You'll explore: 

• Why being a victim of pain is not a failure of faith.
• How unprocessed hurt can shape your story.
• The difference between telling the truth about what happened and living from a victim mentality.
• Why lament is a faithful and biblical response to suffering.
• How healing begins with paying attention, not pressure or quick resolution

This episode is not about fixing your pain or rushing your healing. It's about creating space for honesty, compassion, and the slow work of formation.

If you've been carrying a story that hurts (and aren't sure what to do with it), this conversation offers language and a way forward that doesn't bypass your humanity.

Being in the Victim role doesn't mean you stay there; it simply means you're telling the truth about where you are.

Healing begins when the truth is told in the presence of God's unconditional love.

Support the show

RESOURCES FOR YOU:

Join the Waitlist for 1:1 Coaching with Amy Wicks

https://www.simplywholehearted.com/callamywicks

Not sure about your Enneagram Type? Start here: https://www.simplywholehearted.com/enneagramquiz

Ennea-what? The Beginners Guide to the Enneagram
(free course + printables)
https://bit.ly/Enneagram101Guide

Connect with Amy:
IG
Website