April 11, 2022

Therapists Are Not Robots: How We Can Show Humanity in the Room

36 minutes

Curt and Katie discuss how big life events (a big diagnosis, a huge personal loss, injuries and medical conditions) can show up in the room. We explore how much humanity is okay to share with our clients. How do we decide what we tell our clients (and how do we manage their reactions)? We also look at how we take care of ourselves while also taking care of our clients. Therapists aren't robots, but we certainly need to be aware of our clients when life happens.

In this podcast episode we talk about appropriate self-disclosure practices for modern therapists going through life events

As therapists it’s important that we hold a professional exterior during therapy. But can it be helpful to share with clients the big moments in our lives? How can we be human in the room?

What are some considerations for therapists when deciding to self-disclose?

Showing your humanity can help bond a client with the therapist.

Self-disclosure may be different for planned or unplanned life events and whether they come into the room or private/hidden and in the background of your life

Deciding when and whether to tell clients

Clients often will use the therapist as an example on how to handle big life events.

Not all settings are appropriate for therapist disclosure.

Clients do not have the same confidentiality requirements as therapists; if you self-disclose to a client, it could be known by others or other treatment team members.

In self-disclosing, the therapist will need to process the disclosure with the client.

Processing difficult personal material with multiple clients could be difficult for the therapist.

How much you disclose will depend on the client, but you might share more with a long-term client than a newer client.

Are there ethical considerations for therapists sharing about our lives?

There are no BBS outlined ethical considerations for sharing personal disclosures in therapy.

The therapeutic environment should encourage a client to question the therapist.

The therapeutic environment should encourage clients to participate in self-advocacy.

Remember that certain self-disclosures might be triggering for clients; be mindful of what you share with who.

Document all ruptures in relationships in your note and what you did to help heal the rupture.

Be mindful - clients could be retraumatized or try to care take after a therapist’s disclosure.

Not all clients need to know everything; know your population.

What should new counselors and therapists know?

Therapists are human! Life will continue to affect you even while working.

It is important for therapists to take time off when they need it.

Ruptures in the therapeutic relationship will happen; it’s all about how you handle it.

New counselors often want hard rules for how to act, but it gets easier with experience.

The most damage happens from not acknowledging or apologizing for ruptures.

When ruptures occur, be honest and accountable to your clients.

Sharing our human moments with clients can create a deeper and richer relationship.

Don’t forget you don’t have to do this alone – always consult if unsure on disclosures!

Resources for Modern Therapists mentioned in this Podcast Episode:

We’ve pulled together resources mentioned in this episode and put together some handy-dandy links. Please note that some of the links below may be affiliate links, so if you purchase after clicking below, we may get a little bit of cash in our pockets. We thank you in advance! Struggles of the Novice Counselor and Therapist by Thomas M. Skovholt and Michael H. Rønnestad

Abstract: Shared Trauma: The Therapist’s Increased Vulnerability by Dr. Karen W. Saakvitne

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By Curt Widhalm, LMFT and Katie Vernoy, LMFT

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